03.31.16

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Microsoft Vows to Stop All Patent Lawsuits and Threats Against Linux, Drops Existing Secret Settlements, Annuls NDAs

Posted in GNU/Linux, Humour, Microsoft, Patents at 5:50 pm by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

Satya Nadella

Summary: Satya Nadella finally decides to do the right thing by attempting to undo the damage caused since the Novell/Microsoft deal

IN an unprecedented effort to appease the GNU/Linux community, having launched a campaign of intimidation and coercion in 2006 (continues to date), Microsoft’s CEO Satya Nadella issued a public apology, posted in Microsoft’s official blog on Wednesday night. The apology did not name specific companies, but it did address Red Hat, Canonical and various device makers, primarily east Asian ones.

“I have decided to cancel all existing patent licensing deals with companies that distribute Linux and over the coming 24 months we shall refund them all the money charged in the period of 2006-2016, except in cases where these charges have already rendered those companies defunct or bankrupt.”
      –Satya Nadella
Nadella stated in his latest blog: “Having come to this company and having witnessed its aggressive campaign of patent abuse against small companies, I have vetoed Bill Gates, decided to fire Horacio Gutierrez, and my colleagues shall reveal the secret deals that we have signed over the past decade, including Novell’s.”

Nadella, closing his controversial blog post, noted that Brad Smith, a key architect of the old strategy, has resigned in protest. Attempts to reach Smith for comments have so far been unsuccessful.

“In order to demonstrate Microsoft’s commitment to GNU/Linux and its continued growth,” Nadella told us, “I have decided to cancel all existing patent licensing deals with companies that distribute Linux and over the coming 24 months we shall refund them all the money charged in the period of 2006-2016, except in cases where these charges have already rendered those companies defunct or bankrupt.”

Nadella has not yet commented about the possibility of scuttling Microsoft-connected patent trolls such as Intellectual Ventures, which also attack Linux.

Postscript: sadly, this story is made up (April 1st) and will most probably remain fictional for good.

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A Single Comment

  1. DannyB said,

    April 1, 2016 at 9:47 am

    Gravatar

    Typo: did you mean Intellectual Vultures?

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