Bonum Certa Men Certa

Matthew Garrett’s Twitter Log Shows Exactly Why We Need to Give Security Theater the Boot

Guest post by Ryan, reprinted with permission from the original

Matthew Garrett put Security Theater Boot support into the Linux kernel some time ago, and he got a Free Software Treachery Award for it from the joke that the FSF has turned into.



"Bootkits just really aren’t much of a problem on desktop GNU/Linux..."Now on his Twitter log, he shows us some of the mess he has caused.



See, if you have “Secure” Boot turned on, and you shouldn’t, but if you do, you’ll see the Linux kernel complain that it is disabling hibernation support, and while that alone really isn’t a huge problem because as long as you can suspend and resume (which still is far from given these days even though we were lied to and told uEFI would be better, over ten years ago), it really shows where we’re at now.



Bootkits just really aren’t much of a problem on desktop GNU/Linux, and I doubt they were ever a real problem on much of anything involving a competently-administered GNU/Linux systems, except maybe embedded hardware, where they can lock it down all they want, but those people don’t care about security. If some asshole at Netgear can make a cable modem based on a Linux 2.6 kernel, you’d better believe they’ll do it. After all, you probably won’t know if your modem is compromised.



In reality, I strongly suspect that even on the Windows side, Security Theater Boot was implemented to make it harder to crack Windows using a boot activation exploit. While it’s true that Microsoft laid off the locking people out of their computer over activation failures, for now, the truth is that after Windows 11 requires Security Theater Boot, OEMs may just make it mandatory and stick you with it, and then Microsoft could decide at any time to stop signing shim, and there’s no way to boot GNU/Linux on a PC anymore. The minute they think they can, they will. The only reason you could turn it off up until now was that they had legacy software and hardware in support, but that’s going away.



"But in exchange for false security which doesn’t gain us anything, we’re forced to deal with no hibernation..."It’s part of the “Up yours, buy new stuff!” theme of Windows 11 where lots of expensive computers won’t run it because they’re 36 months old. (But switching to GNU/Linux on these is probably an option for you.).



But in exchange for false security which doesn’t gain us anything, we’re forced to deal with no hibernation, an entire “kernel lockdown” (unauthorized access… by you, the owner of the machine) patch set whose entire goal was to remove the user’s control over kernel settings from userspace (which Microsoft didn’t even publicly demand in exchange for signing the shim bootloader after Red Hat and Canonical bent the knee instead of filing lawsuits), and has left us unable to extend the kernel that runs our own machines with out-of-tree drivers that we feel like running.



Since people can delete tweets and make them unavailable for critical comment, here’s what this sanctimonious asshole has been up to lately.



UEFI troll tweet



UEFI troll tweet

UEFI broken
Yes, that FAMOUS GNU/Linux bootloader, “Windows Bootloader”. There it is, under P:\EFI\Microsoft\Boot\en-us. I’d recognize it anywhere!



He guesses and gets it into the kernel, and you get to wonder if your OS will work later. He also exaggerates, misdirects, and misleads. (see above) But that’s what carnival barkers do.



That is sort of what happens when you have a failed biologist implementing Security Theater from Microsoft. Getting money from them by proxy to do it with.



The company that brought you Windows.



The operating system that goes “Herr! Derr! Here you go, have some files dumped on this here flash drive because the letter belonged to your portable hard disk earlier! Here’s some Microsoft Defender, don’tcha know!?”.



Anyway, I really do wish I had all day to read his Twitter blogs where he pontificates about how the police who protect him from the rioters are evil murderers. But I’ve thought about him too much for one day just for this post.



Anyway, enjoy Windows 11. I’m sure it’ll be great.

Recent Techrights' Posts

European Patent Office (EPO) Series: Battistelli's "Baltic Crusader"
Gilles Requena, Battistelli's erstwhile "Baltic Crusader" and the loyal servant of his successor Campinos
 
Links 14/06/2026: Energy Cost and Reality Strikes at Heart of Slop Bubble, 75 Data Center Build-outs "Successfully Blocked"
Links for the day
Microsoft CEO Says XBox is Not a Sustainable Business
"Now, we have to turn this into a sustainable business," he said about XBox
MElon (MUSK, Elon) is a Trillionaire Like Penguins Are Mammals
Have media outlets told the truth?
Unlikely Heroes
One personal hero who is not alive (anymore) is Navalny
Bruce Schneier Was Probably Wrong About Slop
Right now politicians who openly speak in favour of slop are committing "political suicide"
SLAPP Censorship - Part 106 Out of 200: 100 Kilograms of Legal Papers
When one party's communications and filings weigh at about 3 KG of paper and another's... at about 100 KG of paper
Links 14/06/2026: More Google Layoffs, Wall Street Deems Companies That Lose Money "Worth" Trillions
Links for the day
Gemini Links 14/06/2026: "The Universe is a Hologram", "Matrix Brain Download", and "Happy 0th Year"
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Saturday, June 13, 2026
IRC logs for Saturday, June 13, 2026
Links 13/06/2026: University of Nottingham Confirms Data/System Breach, Courts Fuming at Fraudulent Lawyers Who Fling LLM Slop at Them
Links for the day
Gemini Links 13/06/2026: World Cups and 做人
Links for the day
Microsoft's XBox "Bloodbath" Seems to Have Already Begun (Informally), Studios Allegedly to Face Shutdowns, Layoff Notices Handed Out, 100% Layoffs in Some Cases, 10% in Others or on Average
So is a complete closure/shutdown imminent? (Compulsion Games in this case)
Discussing Morale at IBM and Conversations Regarding IBM Layoffs (Disguised as Other Things)
Trolling can be a form of censorship
European Patent Office (EPO) Series: All the President's Men
Gilles Requena,Patrice Pellegrino, and Sandro Mendonça
SUEPO Elections Coming Up, Union Leaders at Europe's Second-Largest Institution (EPO) to be Determined Soon
The staff union of the European Patent Office (SUEPO) is having an election soon
SLAPP Censorship - Part 105 Out of 200: When Bad Legal Advice Results in Your Client, Dale Vince, Ordered to Pay £600k - or 801,930 United States Dollar (USD) - to the Person Frivolously Sued (Lord Bailey of Paddington)
"A judge has ruled that Dale Vince must pay punitive costs to Lord Bailey of Paddington, the Tory peer, over the 'unexplained abandonment' of his" SLAPP
How Long for Can American Taxpayers Justify Bailing Out Microsoft?
How many times need the American taxpayers give Microsoft money for vapourware that's neither necessary nor delivered?
IBM is Importing/Exporting Corporations' Regime of Censorship (Hiding the Wrongdoing) to Free Software Communities
Is IBM protecting criminals in the name of "manners"?
Links 13/06/2026: Microsoft’s XBox Crisis and "Apple Deepfakes"
Links for the day
Gemini Links 13/06/2026: Why Humans Are Mostly Right Handed and "Getting Things Done"
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Friday, June 12, 2026
IRC logs for Friday, June 12, 2026
SLAPP Censorship - Part 104 Out of 200: Exactly Two Years Ago Brett Wilson LLP Humiliated or Weaponised Our Solicitor's Judaism in an Effort to Censor and Gag Us
dated 12/06/24
Half a Year Since Slopwatch Died
To Google's credit, it did manage to delist a lot of slopfarms in recent months
Links 12/06/2026: Science, Windows TCO, and More
Links for the day
"AI" 46 Times in One 'Article' Because The Register MS Got Paid to Push it
Today is just another opportunity to remind people that the slop bubble and GPU bubble are based on inauthentic fake 'journalism'
Gemini Links 12/06/2026: FTP and Gopher, Cluster Outage Postmortem After Cleaning by Wife
Links for the day
Sonny Piers Finally Spills the Beans on GNOME Cover-up, Points Finger at Robert McQueen, Misusing "Defamation" to Silence Critics of Wrongdoing
Robert McQueen, who is extremely connected to Garrett (they share digital nests)
European Patent Office (EPO) Series: Transcending Partisan Rivalry in the National Interest
Up until now, Campinos has generally been regarded as a Portuguese "asset" on the international stage
Gratitude to Whistleblowers or Sources of Techrights
Whistleblowers are what makes journalism work
Techrights Was Months Ahead of "XBox" News (Mass Layoffs)
Next: end of XBox as a console
More Commentary on June 2026 IBM Layoffs and Why They Happen
It sounds a lot like what happened to the EPO
Links 12/06/2026: "NearlyFreeSpeech" No More, Openwashing by Google (DiffusionGemma)
Links for the day
Today There's a Massive EPO Strike (Like Every Friday), Workers Explain Further Cuts Despite the EPO Making More Income by Granting Illegal Patents (or Invalid Patents Illegally)
"Recent exchange with the Administration on the implications of the SAP on the Education and Childcare Allowance"
The Cyber Show: Remember That Code is Art
The article is very long, very profound, and speaks of "the next installation"
Communicating With Freedom - Part IV - Quibble Now in quibble.chat, Open for Contributions Via Codeberg
Today we continue the series about Quibble
European Patent Office (EPO) Series: The Importance of Having "Pals from the Palacete"
for his reappointment bid to succeed, Campinos will need to be able to rely on the support of both the Portuguese Prime Minister, Luís Montenegro, and the President of the European Council, António Costa
Cyber Show on How Updates or Upgrades Break Workflows, Even in Free Software
"We did a big upgrade on the AV production pipeline"
Discussions About IBM Layoffs in June, Including by RTO and PIPs
mass layoffs are becoming increasingly difficult to conceal
Gemini Links 12/06/2026: Decks and Work Essay
Links for the day
"Rolling Strikes" Continue at the European Patent Office, the Administrative Council Needs to Take Action Against Crooked Office Management
This coming weekend we'll talk about some of the other issues and concerns expressed by the union
Only Days After Mass Layoffs in Microsoft's Azure There Are Headlines About Much-Expected XBox Layoffs
XBox as a console is basically dead or "fast-dying"
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Thursday, June 11, 2026
IRC logs for Thursday, June 11, 2026