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06.26.20

The WSL Song

Posted in GNU/Linux, Humour, Microsoft at 10:03 am by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

We pinch Linux Like this! And then we'll squash it!

Summary: “Linux” Subsystem for Monopoly; get up and dance, peasants! Let’s celebrate!

TWO reboots a week are less than sufficient
That may be the cost of running a base too ancient for the technically-proficient
A piece of malware and/or a keylogger — all with its own bootable system
What else can be added? Let’s add more bloat to the rhythm

So we threw in GNU, but of course we called it Linux
What else is new? Well, at least it’s kind of like UNIX
Canonical was recruited to help, but their assistant jumped ship
So a Hayden we added, taking his first UNIX dip

Anonymously we trolled our critics
What do they know after all? Just a bunch of fanatics!
The media we bribed, except that which was already in our pockets
WSL they called “LINUX”, what a bunch of mindless muppets!

Several years passed and WSL was a failure
We refused to reveal numbers, we said it’s an error
So WSL2 we trotted out, this time with Linux included
ActiveX we then added, as EEE must be EEEmbedded

Here we are an election cycle later
Things aren’t getting better
Our position is slipping even faster
Our boss Bill says this should matter

In between crucial meetings
Secret meetings nevertheless
With Modi, with Trump
With Epstein the mess

Microsoft can’t be evil, for it says it loves everything
And it can’t be racist either, for Nadella fronts for Windows and Bing!

Microsoft loves Linux
Polygamy is OK
It loves Windows more so
With Linux on top (crap, that sounds gay)

Cygwin is reinvented
Or invented in Redmond
Two decades later
But it says “Microsoft” so it’s a diamond

As our market share continues to dwindle
Harder we shall fake
Lying to our shareholders
Distractions from the layoffs we bake

“Linux” Subsystem for Windows
150,000 users worldwide
Anything to ensure GNU/Linux hasn’t WINE on the side

Microsoft loves Linux
Polygamy is OK
But no bootloader, no improvements
We love Linux only as long as its users pay

06.25.20

Latest EPO Cartoon: Lufthansa

Posted in Europe, Humour, Patents at 8:24 pm by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

The ‘animal office’ latest

The animal office

Summary: Insiders of the European Patent Office (EPO) will know what it’s all about and what that generally alludes to

06.19.20

An Ode to ZDNet, the Best Tabloid of CBS

Posted in Deception, Humour at 6:38 am by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

ZDNet staff

Summary: ZDNet wins Techrights award for best tech tabloid; hilarity guaranteed every single day

REDMOND is reeling

Whilst Larry is chilling
It’s another day for ad tech billing

Catalin has found
And to FUD he is bound
To make a “Linux” mountain out of a mound

Mary, oh bloody ol’ Mary
The real news she can bury
Come on, Mary, why won’t you hurry

Steven of Linux
Or “Microsoft loves Linux”
Amplify Linux Foundation PR
Not community smallpox

Jason, come landing
From Microsoft to a Linux Foundation wedding
Your brother makes our best trollish headings

We all come together
We all love thy Bill
He pays the bills, after all
Who else will?

You can’t be trolling if a salary you receive
If Microsoft isn’t paying, who else will give?

Gotta pay the mortgage, gotta spread dem lies
We sell the space to Microsoft, or whoever else buys

06.18.20

Using Humour to Counter Deception and Googlebombing Campaigns

Posted in Deception, GNU/Linux, Humour, Microsoft, Vista 10, Windows at 5:15 am by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

Linux at Google News

Summary: Microsoft’s effort to dominate over GNU/Linux (or hijack its very alternative, its competition) hasn’t gone unnoticed; sites like OMGUbuntu! and Phoronix seem not to understand just how much they help Microsoft by giving ‘free press’ to the utter failure that not many people even use; it’s better to not mention that failing effort or mention it responsibly

THE tactics of Googlebombing aren’t new; they predate Google too, of course… (but named differently; “Googlebombing” was coined over a decade ago)

There’s no single aspect to Googlebombing; one can break it down or split it into several branches of techniques. The one Microsoft has used in recent years is similar to trademark hijacking — apparently similar to what goes on at the EPO. People who search for information about one’s archrival are instead directed to the very opposite. It’s a form of entrapment (entrapping minds) and it games familiar words or phrases. Remember when “VistA” was a Free software system for veterans rather than an appalling version of Windows? There are dozens of examples like that, recently "MAUI".

“What companies state publicly is almost never the same as what is true.”We’ve recently been discussing a number of topics that needed to be dealt with; one was Microsoft claiming to be sensible by renaming “master” in GitHub. Another is the WSL nonsense that has flooded news sites over the past 24 hours (and probably will later today as well). We don’t want to link or send traffic to sites/articles that spread misinformation; we also wish not to amplify their misleading claims (mischaracterising the problem). So instead we use humour. Not many people know how Conservative or Republican Microsoft is; even Bill Gates has his affinity for these people. A lot of people who work for Microsoft lean to the right; it’s hardly surprising that Microsoft works so hard to get Pentagon and ICE contracts. Those aren’t accidents. Microsoft as a company believes in what it does. Regarding WSL, there’s no goodwill there; it’s an attack and if one researches the views of people who work on WSL, then one quickly discovers that they actually dislike GNU/Linux. They want to dominate (as in control/tame) it, not to support or help it. Misusing words like “love” is the perfect deception; look what they did ahead of the GitHub takeover.

What companies state publicly is almost never the same as what is true. Being distrusting, dismissive and sceptical of their marketing/PR people is a survival skills. Ask not what they want you to ‘know’ (think is the right term, it’s perception management) but what they desperately try to hide, especially when they feel pain.

06.16.20

[Humour] Toy Operating System From Wintendo (Microsoft)

Posted in GNU/Linux, Humour, Microsoft, Windows at 7:05 pm by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

odd1sout vs computer chess: Windows Uptime: 10 days; GNU/Linux Users

Summary: GNU/Linux users take far too much for granted; for everything else, there’s mastercard

A Poem for King Nadella, Our Father and Mentor

Posted in Humour, Microsoft at 12:43 am by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

We love you Satya Techrights loves Satya

Summary: A poem for Satya Nadella, advised by Bill Gates to confess his love for us all (Microsoft is all about love now)

THE JOB you have done is splendid and fine
Your company now feels very much like mine

“JEDI” is yours, return of the Jedi
Bombing dark people with the help of Hey Hi (AI)

ICE contracts are cool, even cooler than ice
The Orange One you appeased, oh how very nice

Dictators are no villains, only misunderstood
GitHub needs censoring because openly-shared projects are all ‘nasty’ under the hood

Tax evaded is lots of money saved
Oh, thank you for sparing us the public budget we could have had

In conclusion and in a cordial fashion we wish to congratulate
Not to demonise, except those whom you hate

Offensive Words We Should Uproot and Eliminate From Technology

Posted in Humour at 12:23 am by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

Related: Microsoft Enabling Slavery (master copy of an article from 10 years ago)

Tarantino Telling A Story: If I remove violence from all my movies then violence will cease to exist... You realise how stupid that sounds, right?

Summary: Technology is the domain of the privileged and the affluent; we can put an end to this inequality and the growing injustice by simply removing the principal barrier, which is bad words

SINCE it’s nowadays fashionable to simply delete any mention of any word that someone dislikes seeing, let’s go further and also remove the following technical terms:

  1. Monitor – we should say “screen” instead. Monitors are used in hospitals to observe the health of ill people. We must not cause people panic (tragedy relived), reminding them of the time they spent on life support or some near-death experience.
  2. Terminal – we must all say “shell” instead. Terminal is the state of a patient who is likely dead by now; when we say terminal it can trigger some bad memories, or someone like a long-lost loved one (often a relative or parent).
  3. Ncurses – we should speak of interactive shells; the religious user is likely to associate curses with very bad things, leading to angst.
  4. Daemon – see above. We must not remind the religious user of demons. Use buzzwords like “microservice” instead (with the caveat below).
  5. Services – this term should be reconsidered; it’s too similar to servant, which is a synonym of slave in some contexts.
  6. Wiki – use the term “collaborative page” instead. Wiki is Hawaiian for “fast” or “quick” and there may be racial connotations associated with Hawaii, which is historically a disputed territory with mixed roots and language disputes.
  7. Web (or World Wide Web) – Arachnophobia means that the term can invoke negative feelings or overt fear. Use the term “Interpage” instead.
  8. Mouse – same as above, albeit fear of rodents. Say “pointing device” instead.
  9. Command/instruction/directory – this implies a relationship of subjugation and/or servitude; say “guidance” instead.
  10. Laptop – there may be sexual connotations impacting that word. So “portable computer” would be better. No more bad jokes in the workplace.
  11. Home – /home needs to be aliased or replaced by /location as some people are homeless and this directory structure may remind them of their misfortune.
  12. File manager – the term manager implies inequality; it should be called file organiser instead.

There are no reasons not to implement most of the changes above. After all, this only requires changing some texts and strings in a few places and it doesn’t cost anything. What’s more, if fewer people find computers offensive, then more of them will adopt computers. It will improve the diversity of computer users.

06.15.20

[Humour] Rendering the FCC, Federal Constitutional Court of Germany, Obsolete

Posted in Europe, Humour, Patents at 9:52 pm by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

Thufir Hawat: UPCA unconstitutional? What if we pretend Germany lacks a constitution?

Summary: When courts don’t buckle under the pressure of lobbyists can you just pretend those courts do not exist?

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