Feeling unwell? Open up the door… or else.
Summary: Gotta check and verify that those ‘lazy’ EPO examiners aren’t just faking being ill (in order to not meet “production” targets)
Any resemblance to the “too many distros” FUD is purely coincidental
Summary: “Choice is malicious,” say the antagonists
TOO many cars
Too many types
Too many spare parts
Say all the stereotypes
We need a “UNIVERSAL CAR”
One car to rule them all!
The question is which one
And who makes the call
Monoculture is great
Choice is malicious
Why offer options
When they’re so arbitrary and capricious? █
Work in progress (perpetually)
Summary: Sarcastic take on often-spoken words in the domain of technology
Article by YOU Can Call Me “Mr. Developer” Actually, You Can Call Me “SIR Mr. Developer”
Summary: “Try and maintain a complex piece of software like a browser or an office suite, and then you’ll understand.”
Ah, the good old days… People used to complain, and we would tell them to stop snivelling and learn to code.
Now they pretend that even Free Software can do unethical things. Where do they get these ridiculous ideas?
Free Software can’t be unethical. You can always change the code, so PLEASE stop whinging about how it “spies” on you or got your dog pregnant — we seriously don’t care. We are just volunteers.
I know there was this guy — Shopman? Schtolman? Wait, Torvalds! He used to talk about something like this, but seriously, who codes in a bathrobe?
You never hear Greg talking about that kind of nonsense. I mean, he’s too busy coding (and putting on some clothes first.)
But the rest of you, for crying out loud — just because “stuff happens” on your side and we get “data” about it on our side, doesn’t make it “spyware” — we aren’t spies. As I said, we are just volunteers.
You don’t understand ethics because you probably don’t write any code. I mean you say you do, you even showed us your GitHub repo, but you certainly haven’t written any code for us, so we don’t expect you to understand.
I don’t mean anything by it, you know — when I laughed at you on Twitter, I didn’t say you were “crazy” or “stupid”, just LOL. If we can’t laugh, that’s a serious problem. Then again, so is all this (frankly, very uninformed) whinging.
“But the rest of you, for crying out loud — just because “stuff happens” on your side and we get “data” about it on our side, doesn’t make it “spyware” — we aren’t spies. As I said, we are just volunteers.”Sometimes we sell data to Google. It’s not YOUR data, it’s OUR data. We’re the ones who found it. Yes, we wrote code for your browser to send it to us.
You can turn it off, you know. Just go to about:config and click “Yes I’m sure”, then agree to the EULA and email us a letter stating that you understand and agree to proper usage of our trademarks, then click “Show All settings” and add the key “browser.surveillance.telemetry.justkidding.spyonusmaybe” and set it to string value “0x3b338912″ and we won’t send any data in until we think of another way to make you even MORE free.
I don’t think you people get why we do this stuff. It’s all to help us help YOU. And this is the thanks we get!
When we sell the data, we also put that into helping YOU. But first we print it all out and go at your personal information really firmly with a rubber. Your privacy is totally safe!
Didn’t you learn anything when people tried to say that Ubuntu Unity Amazon Lens was spyware? Mark Shuttleworth explained all this, he said that if you trust Canonical with root access then obviously, you’re giving them permission to do whatever — and if you gave them permission, you shouldn’t complain. And that’s what trust is all about!
So really, we aren’t even asking for root access. Just sending some data from your software to our servers which is absolutely and in every way perfectly useless for indicating anything that you’re doing in a way that could you know, somehow “track” what you’re doing. Just think of it as random numbers, alright? Random numbers that aren’t at all important.
“Sometimes we sell data to Google. It’s not YOUR data, it’s OUR data. We’re the ones who found it. Yes, we wrote code for your browser to send it to us.”What I’d like to see is any of you whingers and peons try to maintain your own web browser, alright? I mean, it looks easy, but it’s really hard work! And then a bunch of uppity know-it-alls — sorry, I mean you people start talking about “ethics” like we did something wrong! And they you say we are spying on you! We are a non-profit, Hello? EVERYTHING we do is ethical.
Try and maintain a complex piece of software like a browser or an office suite, and then you’ll understand.
Until then, PLEASE just shut up already, it’s not helping anything. Turn off your computer and go put your tinfoil hats on, but don’t bother us with a bunch of silly nonsense. Come back when you want to contribute some code, or help pay for our time, when you’ve grown up a little.
Thanks!
“Try and maintain a complex piece of software like a browser or an office suite, and then you’ll understand.”Also, by all means, please feel free to copy and share this with your other loser friends who have nothing better to do than complain all the time.
Yours Sincerely,
Fed Up Developer Tired Of All The Whinging
(Sir Fed Up Developer Tired Of All The Whinging, to you.) █
Public Domain
Summary: The “malicious gossip” at the EPO in Munich (Bavaria, Germany)
Summary: The old censorship/moderation debate
You Have NO Choice – George Carlin (also see “George Carlin on Freedom of Choice“)
Summary: George Carlin (1937-2008) said some wise things about how people are led to believe they have freedom because they’re given a few choices and how their rights can be taken away or denied at any time
THE stand-up comedian and popular critic of society came from a family cynical about the state of the country (and its society); he repeatedly spoke about how “choice” (like Apple or Microsoft) is used to distract from actual freedom (not just a freedom to make binary choices). Here is what he said about “rights” (similarly animated) in his later days.
George Carlin is an excellent commentator, putting comedy/humour aside. Like a sit-com artist, he takes actual (real) issues and turns them into catchy skits. In some sense, he was ahead of his time. █
Technology is marvellous
Endless in scope
Data it can process
More than humans can cope
Pick up your “smart” phone
In case there’s an emergency
The government can rescue you
It can also make calls, you see?
Technology is marvellous
It helps you “like” things
Of course others can see it
So upload things and sing!
“Likes” are the currency of popularity
What’s not to like?
You get two likes immediately
Provided you reciprocate with Jennifer and Ike
All technology is marvellous
More means “smarter”
Mightier, merrier
Sure, it’ll make you happier
Screw real-life relationships
You can make more Facebook friends
One in five of which you’ve met
But that’s not the message it sends
Circuses are marvellous
A show with frightful animals
And then you get some clowns
CIOs and CTOs who champion “clown computing”
Give up all your data
Rewards you shall receive
Loyalty cards track your purchases
Sometimes even your fridge
Cash is so disgusting
It’s for people who beg for change
Display your ID everywhere
Or they’ll put you in a cage █
Dr. Roy Schestowitz
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