04.13.21

An Ode to Dr. Ernst

Posted in Europe, Humour, Patents at 7:11 am by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

THE BUDGET is right
Not worth the fight
That hand that feeds thou shalt not bite
Out of mind, out of sight

Eyes on the trophy
More tea and coffee

Budget issues? Not my department!

Are you done yet…?

Sir, yes, sir!

EPO oversight?... would rather overlook

EPO oversight in check
From Maftónio comes the next cheque
The institution is a shipwreck
But at pension age he can abandon the deck

(Stay tuned for part 16 in the series…)

04.08.21

[Meme] Self-styled Judges

Posted in Europe, Humour, Patents at 6:37 pm by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

Lutz and Roland Freisler

Summary: To suit a recurring theme at the EPO we hereby present Roland Lutz, a self-styled judge

03.31.21

Microsoft GitHub Does It Again

Posted in Deception, Humour, Microsoft at 7:16 pm by Guest Editorial Team

April 1st, 1:00AM

GitHub takedown
Screenshot taken April 1st, 1:00AM BST

Summary: Richard Stallman’s dignity is defended, at last, by Microsoft

In recent months a group has started a petition on GitHub to pressure the Free Software Foundation to not reinstate its founder, Richard Stallman, as chair. The petition has been widely recognised as being based on false accusations against Mr Stallman (e.g. evidence of defamation by cyberbullies), resulting in Microsoft, owner of GitHub, deciding to close down the petition’s GitHub account, citing “cyberbullying” as the reason. Microsoft issued a statement explaining that it will not tolerate its platform being used for bullying and wanted to protect Mr Stallman’s human rights.

03.16.21

The ‘Hey Hi’ of António Campinos Will Survive This

Posted in Europe, Humour, Patents at 1:14 pm by Guest Editorial Team

Summary: “Currently topping the charts at the EPO,” said the person who sent us this smash hit by EPO President António Campinos

“Dance, peasants!”

Sattriya Dance

Photo credit: By Sattriyadance critic – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0.

03.03.21

Meme: EPO Management Totally Gets ‘Tehc’

Posted in Europe, Humour, Patents at 8:07 pm by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

Litigation tehcnicly incohirant

Summary: The bestest patent office in the whole wide world is besting the “hey hi” (AI) cutting edge; don't worry about exam and certification integrity

12.25.20

Significant Normalcy/Normality is “STAY HOME!” (or Else!)

Posted in Humour at 6:34 pm by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

Significant normality just 15 minutes away now…

OK, 'Boris'... Whatever...

THE SNOW is falling

The pacifying film is rolling
Economies falling
Businesses stalling

Have an enlarged dinner
Just a couple or two
COVID will spread
But no employer you can sue

Stay at home, dirty plebs
Due to our lack of curbs

Oh, and install the "app"… we must know where you are and who you meet!

STAY HOME!

“There’s been class warfare for the last 20 years, and my class has won.”

Warren Buffett

The EPO Carol

Posted in Europe, Humour, Patents at 9:49 am by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

On the first day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
Messages about increase in fee

On the second day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

On the third day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
proposal of pension cuts
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

I didn't know stealing EPO money was illegal, I swear!On the fourth day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
increase in production targets
proposal of pension cuts
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

On the fifth day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
requirement of installing spyware on my PC
increase in production targets
proposal of pension cuts
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

On the sixth day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
a signed photograph of king Campinos
requirement of installing spyware on my PC
increase in production targets
proposal of pension cuts
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

On the seventh day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
a threatening melody from Élodie
a signed photograph of king Campinos
requirement of installing spyware on my PC
increase in production targets
proposal of pension cuts
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

On the eighth day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
my belongings from my desk
a threatening melody from Élodie
a signed photograph of king Campinos
requirement of installing spyware on my PC
increase in production targets
proposal of pension cuts
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

On the ninth day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
an order to remain home
my belongings from my desk
a threatening melody from Élodie
a signed photograph of king Campinos
requirement of installing spyware on my PC
increase in production targets
proposal of pension cuts
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

For EPO Management: those stealing all office capital; those doing all the actual workOn the tenth day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
a deadline to complete a spied-on survey
an order to remain home
my belongings from my desk
a threatening melody from Élodie
a signed photograph of king Campinos
requirement of installing spyware on my PC
increase in production targets
proposal of pension cuts
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

On the eleventh day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
an invitation to a patent troll’s ViCo
a deadline to complete a spied-on survey
an order to remain home
my belongings from my desk
a threatening melody from Élodie
a signed photograph of king Campinos
requirement of installing spyware on my PC
increase in production targets
proposal of pension cuts
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

On the twelfth day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
instructions to go away after less than 5 years
an invitation to a patent troll’s ViCo
a deadline to complete a spied-on survey
an order to remain home
my belongings from my desk
a threatening melody from Élodie
a signed photograph of king Campinos
requirement of installing spyware on my PC
increase in production targets
proposal of pension cuts
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

12.24.20

[Meme] EPO Personal Targets

Posted in Europe, Humour, Patents at 5:22 am by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

What would you like for Xmas? New EPO Management. Why? So mommy can sit at the dinner table and quit chasing 'production targets'; Can't 'HEY HI' chase it?

One day 'targets' will be patents

Summary: The sorts of EPO ‘holidays’ one enjoys when working from home with EPO surveillance on one’s personal computer

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