12.25.20

Significant Normalcy/Normality is “STAY HOME!” (or Else!)

Posted in Humour at 6:34 pm by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

Significant normality just 15 minutes away now…

OK, 'Boris'... Whatever...

THE SNOW is falling

The pacifying film is rolling
Economies falling
Businesses stalling

Have an enlarged dinner
Just a couple or two
COVID will spread
But no employer you can sue

Stay at home, dirty plebs
Due to our lack of curbs

Oh, and install the "app"… we must know where you are and who you meet!

STAY HOME!

“There’s been class warfare for the last 20 years, and my class has won.”

Warren Buffett

The EPO Carol

Posted in Europe, Humour, Patents at 9:49 am by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

On the first day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
Messages about increase in fee

On the second day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

On the third day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
proposal of pension cuts
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

I didn't know stealing EPO money was illegal, I swear!On the fourth day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
increase in production targets
proposal of pension cuts
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

On the fifth day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
requirement of installing spyware on my PC
increase in production targets
proposal of pension cuts
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

On the sixth day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
a signed photograph of king Campinos
requirement of installing spyware on my PC
increase in production targets
proposal of pension cuts
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

On the seventh day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
a threatening melody from Élodie
a signed photograph of king Campinos
requirement of installing spyware on my PC
increase in production targets
proposal of pension cuts
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

On the eighth day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
my belongings from my desk
a threatening melody from Élodie
a signed photograph of king Campinos
requirement of installing spyware on my PC
increase in production targets
proposal of pension cuts
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

On the ninth day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
an order to remain home
my belongings from my desk
a threatening melody from Élodie
a signed photograph of king Campinos
requirement of installing spyware on my PC
increase in production targets
proposal of pension cuts
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

For EPO Management: those stealing all office capital; those doing all the actual workOn the tenth day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
a deadline to complete a spied-on survey
an order to remain home
my belongings from my desk
a threatening melody from Élodie
a signed photograph of king Campinos
requirement of installing spyware on my PC
increase in production targets
proposal of pension cuts
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

On the eleventh day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
an invitation to a patent troll’s ViCo
a deadline to complete a spied-on survey
an order to remain home
my belongings from my desk
a threatening melody from Élodie
a signed photograph of king Campinos
requirement of installing spyware on my PC
increase in production targets
proposal of pension cuts
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

On the twelfth day of Christmas
the Office sent to me:
instructions to go away after less than 5 years
an invitation to a patent troll’s ViCo
a deadline to complete a spied-on survey
an order to remain home
my belongings from my desk
a threatening melody from Élodie
a signed photograph of king Campinos
requirement of installing spyware on my PC
increase in production targets
proposal of pension cuts
notification of pay decrease
and messages about increase in fee

12.24.20

[Meme] EPO Personal Targets

Posted in Europe, Humour, Patents at 5:22 am by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

What would you like for Xmas? New EPO Management. Why? So mommy can sit at the dinner table and quit chasing 'production targets'; Can't 'HEY HI' chase it?

One day 'targets' will be patents

Summary: The sorts of EPO ‘holidays’ one enjoys when working from home with EPO surveillance on one’s personal computer

12.09.20

[Memes] The Other Mercer

Posted in Deception, Europe, Humour, Patents at 5:21 am by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

Matt Mercer

Nice patent office you got there; Would be a shame if something happened to it; Like a fake 'study'

Your 'study' is a hoax; Oh, crap. You fact-checked it?

You made it up! I get paid to make stuff up

Summary: Some humour about the so-called 'study' of the EPO

12.05.20

[Meme] ‘Nice’ and ‘Cool’ António Campinos, Now With Extra Sneakers

Posted in Europe, Humour, Patents at 4:00 pm by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

Bully EPO staff. Like a boss.

So cool he put his sneakers on; How about a goddamn mask?

Summary: António 'Fanta' Campinos sporting new 'EPO Sneakers' in these ‘Pandemic Times’; at least he’s being ‘cool’ while staff is confined/sentenced to live in a shoebox, working 24/7 without holidays under constant surveillance in the bedroom

11.26.20

The UPC and Unitary Patent Song

Posted in Europe, Humour, Patents at 8:37 am by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

Little bo peep

Summary: On goes the UPC symphony, as the Unified Patent Court (UPC) is almost here, always coming “real soon!”

UP on a hill
There is a new bill
The lawyers are shrill
Confident they feel

This is the year!
This is the time!
This is the moment!

Oh, wait
What is that?
Again it goes splat
No worry, coming next year!

A year passes
Constitutional bypasses
Misled politicians
Recruited for missions

Courts get in the way
For that they will pay
How dare they say
UPC is not OK

Lobbying redirected
Lambrecht erected
No need to get elected
The coup is enacted

Constitutions in shreds
Embarrassing the Feds
Joyous the Reds
Complainants emerged

UPC is coming
If not now
Then next year
And if not next year
Then the year after that
Or the year after next year
Or the year after next next year
Or next next next next year

It’s coming
Honest!

11.25.20

An Orwellian December

Posted in Humour at 1:45 pm by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

Summary: With December around the corner and states tightening the screws on the population (or employers on employees) at least we can look forward to spring

THE DAYS get shorter

Medics falter
COVID stronger
Goodbye to Orange Ogre

Get the app
Life is crap
Raise the cup
And don’t you shop

Report to Brother
Won’t you bother
Information they gather
Protesting gets harder

Spring will come
At least for some
Privacy is dumb
Upload to Instagram

Amsterdam forest

11.06.20

The Contact-Tracing/Data-Trading Poem

Posted in Deception, Humour at 6:08 pm by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

As effective as stockpiling toilet paper ahead of (or during) a pandemic

Toilet paper

Summary: The sorts of things people would put up with because they’re told those things “protect” them (even when they clearly do not; contact-tracing is extremely ineffective at the current scale)

OUR DATA all ours

Your data is ours, too
We know where you go
We can see when you poo

Contact-Tracing is pooThere’s nothing to hide
Because COVID we fight
Privacy is not a right
Confidentially is a blight

Hold on tight
We’ve got on you in sight
Wearing a mask you might
But the phone exposes your ID alright

The pandemic is a killer
A silent old killer
Surveillance is a blessing
Spies are the new healer

Smile at the camera
We know who you are
We know you you met
We know when you poo

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