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‘Team UPC’ Last Week

Posted in Europe, Humour, Patents at 6:06 am by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

FCC issues ruling Friday. Oh. Not what I expected.

Summary: The looks on Team UPC’s faces 5 days ago (before and after the 9:30AM announcement)


António Campinos Sponging Off the EPO

Posted in Europe, Humour, Patents at 5:51 am by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

Giving staff pensions? Building fortresses for the management

Summary: Almost a billion euros available for buildings that are not needed and fortresses built in secret for management while gambling, but no money to properly pay the EPO's actual staff?


EPO Presflash 002: Diversity and Inclusion (Humour)

Posted in Europe, Humour, Patents at 11:03 pm by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

Inclusive of family members and friends

Summary: The latest European Patent Office (EPO) flier, dated 5 March 2020, deals with the promise of diversity — a subject that has received much scorn for the lack of it (it's about nepotism)

You will agree that for a modern, dynamic forward-looking organisation like the European Patent Office it is essential that we emphasise diversity and inclusion. We owe it to the organisation and those who use our services to cast our net as far as possible in order to gain the best, most able talent and most diverse talent. We need these people so that we can further our mission and unlock the synergies, and leverage the potential locked up in the latent skillset (whatever that sentence means but it sounds good).

Following in-depth consultations and discussions at top management level we had to conclude that the Office was left lacking in this area and that there was scope for improvement in diversity and inclusion.

Accordingly, we have decided to take the following measures:


You may know that in my previous position, in Alicante, I felt we were like one big family. And it is so pleasant to be surrounded by members of one’s own family. This is true not only for myself but also for all the people of my EUIPO management team I gifted senior employee positions at the EPO.

We will initiate a pilot project, offering also spouses and first-degree relatives of these senior employees jobs in the Office (regardless of their qualifications, although having appropriate qualifications is not necessarily an impediment).

When the pilot proves successful it will be expanded.

We have decided to take a stepwise approach:

In a first step we will forthwith extend the scope of our recruitment efforts to their second and third degree relatives, second cousins, and in-laws.

In a second step we will extend to cover more remote cousins and in laws by marriage (in German “Schwippschwager/Schwippschwägerin”).

In a final step we will extend to family friends.


With regard to inclusion, it is unsatisfactory and a matter of shame to me that we have so far included in our recruitment targets only former colleagu es and subordinates of these senior employees. We will, analogously to the approach on diversity, now cast the net wider, in a first step, to close family members of their former colleagues/subordinates. In a second step, we will extend to more remote family members, and finally, in a third step, to friends of their former colleagues/subordinates.

As inclusion and diversity have become a major part of our HR policy it is essential that no pedantic attitude or other obstacles are allowed to impede these laudable aims from flourishing. Hence suitable qualifications and experience will no longer be of any relevance. Job descriptions and vacancy notices will be drafted in order to fit the specific people we are targeting or who have requested a post at the Office. (Fortunately we have modified the recruitment procedures to reduce the influence of those pesky staff representatives who always complained about such procedures.)

We expect all staff to support this initiative, which forms an essential component of the move to produce a more inclusive working culture, as set out in the recent announcement on the intranet. Clearly there may be some impact on staff in place, e.g. by having to change jobs, or take on extra workload to support the newly arrived employees whilst they get acclimatised to their new tasks (for no more than a couple of decades). Also, we expect all staff currently in place to understand that staff reporting assessments and distribution of bonusses will have to be adjusted to take account of the influx of new high calibre staff members.

Your President



The Corporate Coup

Posted in Free/Libre Software, Humour at 12:54 pm by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

He created our company, but I am so much better

Summary: Wannabe leaders know better than the person who gave them their job


Ethics by Exclusion

Posted in Humour at 7:39 am by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

People excluded me. So I have excluded them from the project.

Summary: It’s the same old philosophical question; can excluding those who are perceived to be intolerant be seen as an act of tolerance?


Team UPC: Many Mouths and No Ears

Posted in Europe, Humour, Patents at 5:42 am by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

Context (last year): 13 Years of UPC Promises

UPC is cancelled

Summary: The mental condition of Team UPC gets more worrisome by the week


The “Open Organisations” With Their ‘Open’ Cages

Posted in Deception, Humour, IBM, Red Hat at 7:04 am by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

Open? More like “Oh; pen!” (of sheep, entry is free!)

Wayland, Systemd, .NET Core and The “Open Organisation”

Summary: We’d like to propose the term “open cages” (akin to “golden cages”) as a lot of the openwashing ‘industry’ offers just that — a kind of glorified prison — because the cages are not really open, they just certainly look like it


Microsoft is Always Behind

Posted in Humour, Microsoft, Videos at 8:15 am by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

Always Behind: Microsoft loves us, Behind you, Come again?

Summary: As Sir Humphrey Appleby famously said in Yes Minister: “It is necessary to get behind someone in order to stab them in the back.”

“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.”

Thomas Jefferson

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