The Next Version of Windows Will Always be the Best (for Microsoft)
Coming real soon now... to a store near you
A new PC with the latest Windows poo
PC sales declining*
The userbase is running
"Secure boot" breaking
Sabotage long in the making
This has more antifeatures and is more locked down
The most user-hostile game in town
It transmits everything to Microsoft datacentres
After all... that's all that really matters
Create a Microsoft account to play Minesweeper
Because ain't that a creeper
Wait 2-5 minutes to reboot
Because ain't that a hoot
It's worse and slower over time
And ain't that gotta rhyme █
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* "Smartphones (i.e. Android and iOS) are eating Microsoft's lunch," argues an associate. "The Tomi Ahonen links [we] have there in [Techrights] archive show that even at its peak Windows Phone had less than 3% market share and if you went by actual activations rather than raw sales that was down to less than 1.5% market share. One can conclude that half of those phones ended up directly in the trash. Here's the 3% part. And to think Bill [Epsteingate] had Nokia killed off to cause all that."