IBMers Expect Another Giant Wave of Layoffs, Talk (and Sing) About the PIPs
The media won't be covering the key facts
What else can one say about IBM? The "IBM stock plunging!" is the title of this latest discussion thread, which is being sabotaged already.
"RA all but certain now" said an early comment ("RA" is what IBM calls layoffs; there's a dictionary full of euphemisms).
And "the writing is on the wall. Expect RA meetings / notices to start in early May 2026."
So said another person.
Someone even wrote some nice humour about the PIPs:
Midnight PIP to Armonk (Upskilled Edition)
L.A. billed too much for the man (Too much for the man) (But the execs still made it) So he’s leaving with an “upskilling” plan Oh, they said, “Just re-skill, align” (“Be AI-first this time”) While they optimize the spine And “right-size” his line
He’s leaving (leaving) On that midnight PIP to Armonk (low performer on a chart) Hmm, yeah Said he’s going back to find (Back to rebrand) Whatever’s left of peace of mind (After “synergy” took its bite)
Oh, I’ll sit right by his side (Through a Webex divide) On that midnight PIP to Armonk (With a smile they can’t hide)
I’d rather live off-grid and sane Than “upskill” through another pain (World, world) (While they pivot buzzwords again)
He kept dreaming (dreaming) That someday he’d scale like a star (A cloud-native star—but benched where you are) Till he found out the hard way “Transformation” means you’re through (Just a cost they can subdue)
So the partners flew in With a “future-ready” deck Said “leverage GenAI, do more with less” Then they billed and cut the rest
He’s leaving (leaving) On that midnight PIP to Armonk (reorg number nine) Said he’s going back to find A world without “optimize” (Or a KPI for his life) Midnight PIP to Armonk (Upskilled Edition)
L.A. billed too much for the man (Too much for the man) (But the execs still made it) So he’s leaving with an “upskilling” plan Oh, they said, “Just re-skill, align” (“Be AI-first this time”) While they optimize the spine And “right-size” his line
He’s leaving (leaving) On that midnight PIP to Armonk (low performer on a chart) Hmm, yeah Said he’s going back to find (Back to rebrand) Whatever’s left of peace of mind (After “synergy” took its bite)
Oh, I’ll sit right by his side (Through a Webex divide) On that midnight PIP to Armonk (With a smile they can’t hide)
I’d rather live off-grid and sane Than “upskill” through another pain (World, world) (While they pivot buzzwords again)
He kept dreaming (dreaming) That someday he’d scale like a star (A cloud-native star—but benched where you are) Till he found out the hard way “Transformation” means you’re through (Just a cost they can subdue)
So the partners flew in With a “future-ready” deck Said “leverage GenAI, do more with less” Then they billed and cut the rest
He’s leaving (leaving) On that midnight PIP to Armonk (reorg number nine) Said he’s going back to find A world without “optimize” (Or a KPI for his life)
And I’ll be with him (Off their dashboard lines) On that midnight PIP to Armonk
All aboard (AI-first) All aboard (cost burst) “Upskill fast or you’ll be dispersed” One more (reorg) All aboard (encore) “Client zero”—we’ve heard that before
My role (sunset) His team (offset) Their bonus? fully “on target,” you bet
Oh, they’re saying (saying) “We’re future-ready now” (Just ignore the layoffs somehow) Hmm, yeah “It’s a pivot, not a cut” (Just your badge that’s getting shut)
I’d rather ride that midnight train Than chant “synergy” again (World, world) (It’s theirs in the slides—ours in the end) And I’ll be with him (Off their dashboard lines) On that midnight PIP to Armonk
All aboard (AI-first) All aboard (cost burst) “Upskill fast or you’ll be dispersed” One more (reorg) All aboard (encore) “Client zero”—we’ve heard that before
My role (sunset) His team (offset) Their bonus? fully “on target,” you bet
Oh, they’re saying (saying) “We’re future-ready now” (Just ignore the layoffs somehow) Hmm, yeah “It’s a pivot, not a cut” (Just your badge that’s getting shut)
I’d rather ride that midnight train Than chant “synergy” again (World, world) (It’s theirs in the slides—ours in the end)
It's based on "Midnight Train to Georgia" and it is well done.
There are several trolls with obnoxious slop polluting several threads about IBM's collapse, hence not worth linking to (which is what those trolls aim for!). Some accuse them of using LLMs, but regardless, they're clearly trying to irritate people who frequent that site and waste their time, not just drain out energy/emotional/cognitive capacity.
Another active thread had some decent comments in recent hours. They explain why IBM is floundering:
That’s exactly the problem. But I’d take it a step further. It’s not just a lack of drive; it’s that the environment in Albany actively discourages it. The system isn’t set up to reward better engineering, stronger execution, or real semiconductor progress. It rewards people who understand how to navigate the internal politics.When the people who push actual innovation get overlooked, and the ones who advance are those who manage perception, alliances, and messaging, you end up with exactly what we’re seeing. It’s not that people can’t make things better, it’s that there’s no incentive to do so, and in some cases, it can even work against you.
So instead of focusing on advancing the product or solving hard technical problems, the focus shifts to playing the game. And once that becomes the norm, stagnation isn’t surprising, it’s inevitable.
[...]
IBM’s cultural problem is a world class case of micromanagement. And it’s only becoming more pronounced. The topmost technical talents with decades-long proven track records of demonstrated excellence are frequently disciplined for showing initiative or for speaking truth rather than dancing out precisely some fool’s exacting choreography. This micromanagement system separates responsibility from authority. Those whose neck is officially on the line for success or failure aren’t given the authority to effect success. Authority is held jealously by someone multiple rungs up the org chart. Authority flows up. Blame flows down. Thus it has been and always shall be.
Eventually, micromanagement smothers even the most enthusiastic and passionate employees. It just takes a decade or two (or three) to bring even the best of us to our knees. IBM slowly su-ks out the soul and carefully keeps alive the husk to be one more cog in their machine.
[...]
No one cares about Albany. Once this quantum buzz dies off or it’s inevitable mismanagement fumbling by the clowns up there they will all be fired. If they can’t find a partner it’s over. You can almost see exactly how this is going to play out. Then they will be playing catch up for next 2 decades to who ever supersedes them. It’s like their business model style always playing copy and catch up.
"I bet IBM will still miss the boat when time comes," the latest comment says.
At the current pace (and direction), there will not be much left of IBM in the US and in Europe (mass layoffs this month!), it'll be some relic like Kyndryl milking some old cows while racking up more debt than the whole company is worth. The only engineering left at IBM will be financial engineering. █
26 minutes ago:
Image source: Gladys Knight and the Pips perform aboard aircraft carrier USS Ranger on November 1, 1981.
