Bonum Certa Men Certa

New Private Eye Article Says EPO “Doesn't Actually Deny That There's a Fast-Track Project Allowing Big Firms to Queue-Jump”

Summary: The EPO's favouritism-related issues are becoming mainstream news even in the UK's most respected papers

YESTERDAY we got many photographs of the Private Eye article about the EPO. We even got a third photograph [PDF] and a fourth person supplied the text.



"I ran the photo through OCR software," a regular reader told us. "After some contrast and trapezoid corrections the result was quite good, and needed only corrections for the part near the crease that couldn't be corrected."

"I should file a software patent for crease compensation software," the reader added sarcastically.

Here is the text of the article:

PATENT-LY ABSURD



PATENT officers took to the streets of Europe again last week with protests in Munich and The Hague at the treatment of the elected staff union representatives who have been suspended by bosses.



Earlier this year a Dutch court ruled that the European Patent Office (EPO) was violating the fundamental rights of its own staff, but as a supra-national organisation (run by the European Patent Organisation, a separate-treaty organisation from the EU) the EPO claims immunity from national employment law.

Meanwhile, the EPO has exercised its bullying tactics on the UK-based blogger who uncovered the email detailing how the organisation planned to fast-track a backlog of patent applications by a small group of very large (and mainly non-European) companies, including Microsoft (see Eye 1404).

Dr Roy Schestowitz, a software engineer who writes the Techrights blog, said the EPO's lawyers contacted him just before midnight on a Friday evening, threatening to issue legal proceedings unless he removed the post, apologised and agreed "to pay our clients damages (in a sum be agreed)". They set a deadline of noon on the Monday for him to comply, leaving almost no time to find a lawyer but a whole weekend to worry.

Dr Schestowitz is now being represented bv David Allen Green of Preiskel & Co and has not apologised or paid out. He has taken down the specific post that caused the complaint, but he has posted lots more criticism of the EPO since, as have newspapers in several European countries.

While Dr Schestowitz’s blog was stridently critical of EPO. the patent office doesn't actually deny that there's a fast-track project allowing big firms to queue-jump. It insists this is the only way to avoid even worse delays for smaller players in the market, since Microsoft et al could take action to force the EPO to prioritise even more of the hundreds of applications they have queued up.


The EPO is clearly worried about blogs. Based on its own documents, it is afraid not only of Techrights (mentioned several times) but also of Florian Müller.

Florian Müller has just received recognition in "World's Best IP Blogs". According to this, "FOSS Patents is a blog that covers software Patent news and issues in general and focuses particularly on wireless, mobile devices like Smartphones and tablet computers."

We are going to write a great deal about the EPO this weekend in order to cope with the growing backlog. We publish as fast as we receive new material and the frequency of publication depends on the frequency of input (which has only accelerated after the EPO attacked us).

Recent Techrights' Posts

Society Will Only Improve Owing to People Who Push Boundaries
Push boundaries with ideas and facts, not with forbidden language
 
SLAPP Censorship - Part 111 Out of 200: Garrett and Graveley (the Latter Arrested for Strangling Women) Keep Ousting Their Collaboration in Litigation, Lawfare in a Foreign Continent
it's not law, it's just warfare disguised as "law"
European Patent Office (EPO) Series: Lobbying in Lisbon...
reappointment campaign lobbying has not been restricted to the "home front" in Portugal
Slop Making Its Way Into Terms Where It Does Not Belong
Hopefully by year's end Google News can successfully cull (and deprive of traffic) almost all slopfarms
Links 19/06/2026: Microsoft Patent Troll Intellectual Ventures in Europe, "World Cup of Internet Resilience"
Links for the day
Links 19/06/2026: Salesforce Data Thefts and GAFAM's Conspiracy Theories That Data Center Opposition is a Foreign Plot
Links for the day
Links 19/06/2026: The Retweeting Class and Data Centres as National Security Risk
Links for the day
Don't Attack the Wives (or Spouses) of Pundits/Activists/Journalists
We will be writing several series about this in the future
Internet Relay Chat (Shorthand IRC) is Still Growing
Contrariwise, social control media is waning
The Register MS Published a New Page With "AI" 21 Times in It. It Was Paid SPAM.
The former editor of the The Register MS admitted to me (directly) that he knew all this "AI" stuff was stupid hype
Murdoch's Wall Street Journal (WSJ) Associates Dependence on a Ponzi Scheme With "the Future"
Those ludicrous ads (disguised as rankings) from WSJ deserve scorn and ridicule
The XBox Story is Still Fast-Developing, the Layoffs Are Confirmed to be Happening Already (Mid-June), Just Not "Officially"
Workers have Microsoft have long braced for what is happening this summer and will accelerate further in two weeks' time
Fake News From Rupert Murdoch's WSJ Could Not Keep IBM From Sinking
"2026 Best Companies for the Future"?
To GNU, AV2 Adoption May be a Year If Not Years Away
The leap between versions means that there is fertile ground for incompatibilities
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Thursday, June 18, 2026
IRC logs for Thursday, June 18, 2026
Gemini Links 19/06/2026: "Born and Raised by the Internet", Fifteen Years in Gopher
Links for the day
Links 18/06/2026: Clown Computing Has Harmful Sound, Facebook "Must Face the Music (Infringement Litigation)"
Links for the day
Digital Sovereignty Discussed in the United Kingdom (UK)
Digital Sovereignty would be nice, but let's remember what contributes to it
IBM Adds Only More IBM Staff to the Fedora Council, They Like LLM Slop for Posting 'Articles'
It's like Canonical with Ubuntu, only worse
IBM Common Stock Down to About $250, It Was at $330 Just 17 Days Ago
Happy birthday IBM!
Microsoft's CEO Openly Admits XBox is Not Sustainable and Microsoft is Beginning to Admit Slop Isn't Working and Is Not Not Sustainable Either
Expect Microsoft cancellations next month (or later this month) to impact far more than XBox and some studios
EPO and Disabilities: Payments Allegedly Disabled
But people who do cocaine can claim paid "sick leave" (over 100,000 euros for no work at all) if the President sleeps with them
SLAPP Censorship - Part 110 Out of 200: Anti-SLAPP Reform Formally Advanced in the United Kingdom (UK) the Same Week the Serial Strangler From Microsoft (US) Does Forum-Shopping in the UK
The only language they understand is money. They don't understand privacy.
Links 18/06/2026: UK Social Media Ban for Minors, Finland Lifts a Nuclear Weapons Ban
Links for the day
'Article' With "AI" 27 Times in the Page, It's "Partner Content" (Paid Spam) as Usual at The Register MS
We deem this a timely reminder that a lot of the hype around slop is paid-for lies
Microsoft Layoffs Have Reportedly Already Started at ZeniMax
The overall scale is unknown
Cyber Show: "Our independence remains intact and we're set to continue relentlessly probing the world of digital technology with hard questions"
As one should
European Patent Office (EPO) Series: Leveraging the Lusitanian Connection
Mendonça no longer functions as an independent agent but rather as a fig-leaf for a mafia-like entity that prizes obedience over integrity and self-preservation over truth
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Wednesday, June 17, 2026
IRC logs for Wednesday, June 17, 2026
The "Official" Numbers That Say "Microsoft Layoffs" Will be Misleading
The scale of the layoffs in gaming will be unprecedented
SLAPP Censorship - Part 109 Out of 200: When You Drag Family Members Into a Case Unrelated to Them Because Their Relative Published Something
This did not exactly surprise us given what we had already encountered
SUEPO Munich Informs/Contacts the German Government About the Situation at the European Patent Office (EPO)
Salary Erosion Procedure: Two letters to Germany
Gemini Links 17/06/2026: Feeling "Useful"; PISA Pen-and-Paper Cipher
Links for the day
Trajectory of O'Reilly: From Publisher of Books to Microsoft Advertiser
The state of the media is not good and when prolific book publishers start running ads as 'articles' or videos (never mind the disclosure) it is rather tasteless
Links 17/06/2026: Slop's “Crack Cocaine” Approach to Pricing, Microsoft's Rapid Shrinking of Gaming Business
Links for the day
Links 17/06/2026: "How Developers React to Slop-Scented Blog Posts", Police Caught Fabricating Evidence Using Slop
Links for the day
More Than 90% in European Patent Office (EPO) Ballot Vote for Continuation of Industrial Actions/Strikes, About Half Wish to Further Intensify These
Ballot results on intensification of actions
If Not Now, Then When?
If you are not part of the solution/s, then you're merely a vessel or passive participant
Microsoft Offers People 'Retirements' (Again) to Fake (Artificially Lower) Number of Layoffs, Those People Are Nowhere Near Retirement Age
Microsoft implicitly affirms huge cuts are coming
Gemini Links 17/06/2026: 10 Years in Canada, Wild Flower Explorations, and Microslop
Links for the day
European Patent Office (EPO) Series: The Portuguese Prodigy
In this part we will present some additional background information about Mendonça's activities before he joined the EPO
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Tuesday, June 16, 2026
IRC logs for Tuesday, June 16, 2026