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Q2 Midterm Weather Forecast for EPOnia, Part 1: Urgent Shitstorm Alert

Guest post

Shitstorm coming



Summary: Experts at the European Patent Office's (EPO) weather observation station have just issued an urgent alert warning about a major shitstorm looming on the horizon

Experts at the EPOnia weather observation station have just issued an urgent alert warning about a major shitstorm looming on the horizon. There are signs that a routine tendering procedure is about to turn into Operation Charlie Foxtrot for Team Campinos.



"There are signs that a routine tendering procedure is about to turn into Operation Charlie Foxtrot for Team Campinos."The first signs of the predicted shitstorm were noticed a few weeks ago when document CA/F 10/19 was released on 17 April in the middle of a "slow news” month in EPOnia when most people were already off enjoying the Easter break or getting ready to go on leave.

So it wouldn’t be surprising if the contents of CA/F 10/19 have slipped under the radar of most of the EPOnian peasants – or campinos (with a small “c”) as they are known in Portuguese!

"...the contents of CA/F 10/19 have slipped under the radar of most of the EPOnian peasants – or campinos (with a small “c”) as they are known in Portuguese!"At first sight CA/F10/19 is a completely unremarkable document with the rather mundane and prosaic title "Award of Agreement 2019/3055 pursuant to Article 58(1) FinRegs for the provision of Security Services for EPO buildings in Munich".

The document was prepared by the President of the European Patent Office for submission to the EPO's Budget and Finance Committee for decision.

The BFC is due to meet later this month on 21 and 22 May so it is important to be aware that the matter hasn't been finally decided yet.

However, in the normal course of events it can be expected that the BFC will sign off on the decision which will then be officially rubber-stamped by the Administrative Council when it meets on 26 and 27 June. If this happens, insiders are confidently predicting that a major shit-storm could break loose.

A shitstorm brewing



According to informed sources it’s still not too late for Campinos to take preventative action to avert what promises to be a major PR disaster but it's by no means certain that he and his team have sufficient "nous" to react in time.

"...insiders are confidently predicting that a major shit-storm could break loose."Whether or not he realises it, Antonio the Unready is walking towards a PR minefield.

Or to put it another way, he is in great danger of falling victim to unexploded ordnance UXO. This term refers to those "explosive remnants of war" that lurk beneath the surface or in the undergrowth until they surface by chance causing mayhem and disruption as the bomb-disposal experts quite literally try to "defuse" the situation.

An unexploded bomb



It has to be admitted that there are no overt signs of potentially explosive material in CA/F 10/19 but appearances can be deceptive.

This document reports in dry-as-dust technocratic language on the outcome of a tender procedure for the provision of security services for the EPO’s Munich buildings.

The current contract with a local Munich-based company Bewachungsdienst Dipl.-Kfm. Helmut EHRL GmbH is due to expire on 30 September 2019.

"Subject to extension over a total of five years, this contract has a potential value of close to EUR 30 million."During the bidding procedure for the new contract, EHRL offered the highest price, whereas a rival bidder going under the name of Kötter SE & Co. KG Security offered the second lowest price out of the 5 contenders considered technically capable and also scored the second best in the technical evaluation with the best references.

And so CA/F 10/19 informs us that it is proposed to award the new contract to Kötter. Subject to extension over a total of five years, this contract has a potential value of close to EUR 30 million.

Viewed through the eyes of a technocrat like Campinos, the choice of Kötter as the most "competitive" bidder undoubtedly makes perfect sense.

The price is right and what else counts in today's fact-moving globalised world? So far so good. It all seems to be just another non-story.

"But in the enigmatic looking-glass world of EPOnia the real story is often buried beneath the surface and it is necessary to dig down deeper to get to it."In fact, you can almost hear Team Campinos shouting from the sidelines: "Move along now folks, nothing to see here..."

But in the enigmatic looking-glass world of EPOnia the real story is often buried beneath the surface and it is necessary to dig down deeper to get to it.

In Part 2 we will take a closer look at the Kötter Group.

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