Stick a fork in it. Creepy Uncle Bill‘s Certified Lab Garbage Has Still Not Recovered.
Today, Brown still has the same talking points—environment, health, animal welfare—but fewer people seem to be listening. Instead, there’s only one question on the minds of financial analysts and business journalists: Can Beyond Meat actually make money? Brown has had plenty of time to think about the dynamic. “When you’re doing well, they make you seem like you have the Midas touch,” he says, speaking in a hotel room in Midtown Manhattan last week. “When you’re struggling, it’s the opposite. You just have to be comfortable with both.”
It’s rougher out there than it was during the plant meat glory days. High food prices have caused shoppers to forgo expensive meat alternatives, while cooling hype and high interest rates have tightened the spigot of venture capital that fuels the industry’s smaller players. More than a dozen startups in the space have folded in recent months. Beyond Meat, the O.G. that started it all, has fared particularly badly in some ways, especially compared to its biggest rival, Redwood City, Calif.-based Impossible Foods (it helps though, that Impossible is a private company, which means it can keep its financials close to the chest).
-Time Magazine
So hiding from investors because there’s no requirement to tell the public how bad things are getting in your industry means you do well, I guess? LOL
“There are all these bills that say it’s got to be called, basically, lab garbage to be sold. They don’t want us to use the beef label.”
-Creepy Uncle Bill Gates
“Hey kid, do you spit or swallow……………the LAB GARBAGE?“
Beyond Beef never recovered from the initial hype and the cheap debt, which is what sustained most of the bullshit “startups” which go bankrupt as soon as the Federal Reserve ends the gravy train.
Along the way, there were some truly bizarre stories about the company, like their CFO biting a man’s nose. I guess that’s what happens when you’ve been eating Beyond Beef for a while…
Creepy Uncle gambled and lost.
Nobody wants fake beef that tastes like shit unless they’re some sort of a demented pervert. Hell, it takes a bigger demented pervert to eat this crap than someone who would pal around with Jeff Epstein looking for a “Nobel Prize”.
I tried the stuff one time simply out of morbid curiosity and because Walmart ordered a bunch it couldn’t sell and it turned out to free plus rebate money between the closeout and iBotta. So I pocketed the cash and the Beyond Beef all ended up in the garbage can.
I tried to make a recipe out of it (a chili recipe that is always so delicious that I must have seconds) and it ruined it with this fake and nasty “off taste”. I ended up throwing the whole thing out.
Fake meat can never beat cow.
And of course Creepy Uncle doesn’t eat this shit. His favorite food is REAL hamburger.
He tries to steal from everyone else what he demands for himself, like End-to-End encryption, real food, and personal transportation.
Have you ever seen Creepy Uncle on the bus with his “sweater” and “reading list” and “Casio watch” and every other “everyman” puff piece he’s paid for in the fake news media? No.
Bill Gates had four private jets and chose to fly on the LOLITA Express with Epstein.
There was a time when it was easier to keep a lid on the fraudulent career of Creepy Uncle Bill, the womanizing, the associations with (and maybe more) with a convicted mass pedophile, and so on, where I thought Bill Gates was a visionary. It was easier to control and keep a lid on information in the 90s.
Now he has what’s left of the mass media (which is propaganda, agitation, and advertising) working 24 hours a day covering up his crimes, talking about nonsense and puffery, and printing articles insisting that everyone who criticizes him is some sort of a nutcase.
It works well enough if you never scratch below the surface.
The plan with the “lab garbage” (saying the quiet part out loud) was, essentially, “You get the peasants used to eating this stuff, which is saltier and less nutritious than meat, then once you get them off the meat, you switch them to bugs.”.
There are thousands of articles in the “mainstream” about how people “should” eat bugs.
I didn’t climb to the top of the goddamned food chain as an apex predator, so I can eat goddamn bugs and fake meat and ride the bus and give up coffee.
Store clerk: “Sir, what are you doing?” *when Ron throws a piece of veggie bacon in the trash*
Ron: “I’m making sure that nobody ever has to eat this.”
[…]
“Veganism is the sad result of a morally corrupt mind. Reconsider your life.”
-Ron Swanson, Parks & Recreation
Ron was the best character on that show.
He reminded me of, like, almost a parody of me in so many ways. ⬆