Bonum Certa Men Certa

Guarding and Rescuing the FSF Titanic: Narcissism in The Community

A publication from the Free Media Alliance

Overview



Narcissism

Summary: "Narcissists are drawn to intelligent people. They take great pleasure in attacking, controlling and defeating intelligent people because it makes them feel smarter and more important."

This is focused mostly on Cluster B personality disorders and their effects, and mostly on Narcissistic personality disorder, but most of all on its presence online.



It is intended as practical advice and not the result of a formal study of online behaviour. Such a formal study could help, if not compromised by a preferred outcome such as looking for an excuse to further regulate the Internet. Some formal studies are compromised by their sponsors.

People throw around a lot of ad hominem in online debates. A common example is accusing Stallman of being autistic. Stallman has said himself that he could be on the autism spectrum, and there's nothing wrong with that -- it is typically brought up to imply he is incapable of making decisions that fall in line with the real world.

"Some formal studies are compromised by their sponsors."It's a circular argument; if your goal is to change the world, you're not going to be talking about things that begin by ceding that the world will not change. Some changes are more realistic than others, but the FSF has met most of its goals, except for the largest. Nothing written here is really about the FSF failing to meet their goals, only abandoning goals partially and not adopting ones that could be necessary. In terms of meeting goals, the FSF has a great track record.

Being clinically diagnosed as a narcissist is also irrelevant. If someone is diagnosed as having NPD and they are not lying and trolling and trying to destroy Free software, then the matter of NPD doesn't need to be discussed. But when there are many people who are lying and trolling and trying to destroy Free software, then it is still useful to talk about NPD. If more people understood it, a better handle of online communication could probably be obtained by most people. This is highly relevant to the Free software community.

Narcissists are drawn to intelligent people. They take great pleasure in attacking, controlling and defeating intelligent people because it makes them feel smarter and more important. Some narcissists are very intelligent people, but the word "clever" would apply more universally, and narcissism is more about control and dominance than intelligence. Not everyone who is a jerk is a Narcissist, but some of the worst jerks could well be.

"Narcissists are drawn to intelligent people. They take great pleasure in attacking, controlling and defeating intelligent people because it makes them feel smarter and more important."Not all trolls are narcissists either -- a lot of trolling is just a harmless prank that never gets out of hand. At first it is difficult to say whether the trolling is harmful or not, and if it puts you on alert that's alright, but it could be nothing.

Misunderstandings happen all the time. As many misunderstandings are harmless (and they really are, they're worth resolving whenever possible) a narcissist will try to make everything seem like a misunderstanding. Don't let this sour you on trying to resolve honest disputes.

The worst trolls are the better-known, evil awful person, who tries to suck the soul out of you one jerk-move at a time.

Most people probably still think of narcissism as just an inflated sense of self. That definition may have validity but is not too good, when every idealist is trying to find some way to save the world. Oh, you don't want to use software that doesn't include source code? Boom, you're a narcissist. Beyond just trying to do "big things," a narcissist may:

1. pretend to care about you or other people

2. misquote you and speak for you and gaslight you

"The worst trolls are the better-known, evil awful person, who tries to suck the soul out of you one jerk-move at a time."3. use smear tactics and try to intimidate you, even as a response for anything they dislike about you at all

4. constantly accuse you of things they are doing themselves -- then say they were "just kidding, lighten up"

5. play a hero, pretend to care, but have actions that never match their words

6. play people and groups against each other, often over incredibly insignificant faults

7. routinely miss the point of what you're saying and demand you consider their points (exclusively) -- all conversations with narcissists are one-sided

8. have consistently different standards for what they will tolerate vs. what they will dump on you

Narcissists do not respond (initially, later on, after repeated attempts, or under any circumstances whatsoever) to logic or honesty with logic or honesty. They only ever double down with fallacy and lies.

Although people say "don't feed the troll," what they don't tell you is that the thing you're feeding them is your happiness and well-being.

This is not just about trolls -- Narcissism explains most of the ills that society has. People think that narcissism is rare, but it is not as rare as many assume and we are creating more of them with a society that is perfect for narcissists.

"People think that narcissism is rare, but it is not as rare as many assume and we are creating more of them with a society that is perfect for narcissists."Selfies are not so bad. Prior to camera-phones, they were known as self-portraits, and some of those are amazing. The real problem with Narcissism is just how many people out there are lying by default, how good they are at lying, and how great they are at weaseling out of any effort to pin them for it. You aren't just wasting your time going after narcissists -- you're wasting your life.

When feminists talk about "Patriarchy" they are describing male narcissism and narcissistic success. When MGTOWs talk about women, they are describing female narcissism.

Any gender domination in society is a cultural habit reinforced by differences in physical strength. It's not because "men are just like that." But narcissists of all genders are "just like that."

Though they may not always appear to act in groups, narcissists do swarm together. If there's one nearby that you can discern, there are often others lurking around. They feed off your emotions and off the imaginary things they attribute to your feelings -- whether good or bad.

But narcissism helps explain a lot of things -- from non-profits that care more about a fancy, decked-out top office floor than the cause in their mission statement, to the cloying but empty promises in any major political party, to one-sided friendships that seem to always go nowhere (or go crazy) no matter how you work to nurture them from your side, to arguments that start out frustrating and become surreal over time and iteration.

"Though they may not always appear to act in groups, narcissists do swarm together."The only protection from trolls is to starve them, and trolls are constantly trying to make good people look like trolls. No matter how many anti-bullying campaigns you run, how many people you ban, how many misguided zero-tolerance policies you write, trolls will thrive if there's food around.

That will continue to happen until the day when everyone educates themselves better about clinical narcissism -- and gives up the argument that a particular troll has it.

If you go too far, and take down everyone who displays one or two narcissistic traits, you will also stop their victims.

You want three things for a victim of narcissistic abuse: You want to give them an opportunity to heal, You want to give them room to speak that the narcissist tried to troll them out of -- and you definitely, definitely want them to fully understand why it is self-destructive to try to go after the troll either directly or publicly.

Turnabout is not fair play -- not just because of karma or some perfect morality -- but because chasing after the troll is just another opportunity for the victim to be abused further.

"That will continue to happen until the day when everyone educates themselves better about clinical narcissism -- and gives up the argument that a particular troll has it."Many people think this is just about protecting emotionally fragile people's feelings -- or creating a "perfect" code of conduct, or that this is just an opportunity to squash more free speech.

Unfortunately, it can be all those things -- even if those things won't work. That's a very substantial reason why a global understanding of narcissism would result in a better world, better environments and communication online and offline, less perceived need for zero-tolerance policy and censorship and controlled speech, and greater harmony and success.

If you critically examine the news and advertising, we are constantly being played against each other as a society. Corporations do this because it makes us "better consumers" by their definition of "better." (Malleable.) So don't think for a moment that trolls are just some obnoxious kids on an internet forum.

Trolls create and sustain monopolies, they use marketing to psychologically manipulate the public, and they create a society in which we cannot work together to do anything meaningful against them. Understand that power, and you can learn to feed it less.

"By no means was all of this said just to sum it up as "use GNU," but yes -- a free operating system would help substantially because it starves corporations that are bent on controlling not just your computing via their software and social media platforms and ridiculous "Smart" devices -- but your entire life, via your computing."Will using a fully free operating system help? By no means was all of this said just to sum it up as "use GNU," but yes -- a free operating system would help substantially because it starves corporations that are bent on controlling not just your computing via their software and social media platforms and ridiculous "Smart" devices -- but your entire life, via your computing.

Using Free software, unlike using "Open Source" is a political and ethical act. Using Free software promotes freedom (and choice as well) and it teaches that sometimes, "the shiny" is actually just poison.

That said, there is a lot more to freedom than just software. So many things run on digital platforms now, that the relevance of Free software to other (more conventionally thought of) freedoms is understated. This is not just about Free software -- it is about free society and a better mankind.

Above all, it is most certainly not a call for more censorship -- but instead, an idea that may help people realise why more censorship is not needed, and wouldn't help much anyway.

When you increase the number of tools and features for controlling people and groups, narcissists tend to find better uses for those tools than the rest of us. This is true whether you're talking about technology or politics.

"So many things run on digital platforms now, that the relevance of Free software to other (more conventionally thought of) freedoms is understated."Narcissism is not just male or female, left or right, rich or poor, eastern or western. It is a fundamental evil that has plagued humanity for millennia. But between overpopulation, extremely scientific marketing and global communication, it is very likely that the problem is worse than ever in history.

A thorough understanding of the problem is the best first step towards ideal solutions; while a misunderstanding, uncorrected, is a small step towards chaos. The Internet is full of misunderstandings, and this is one it really can't afford. If you are tired of being trolled, or have friends that are tired of the same, a good understanding of narcissism is the best medicine you could have. It won't help you fix the narcissists, but properly applied it will save you a boatload of trouble.

Licence: Creative Commons CC0 1.0 (Public Domain)

Recent Techrights' Posts

China Says Goodbye to Microsoft
It is hardly surprising that Windows is shedding off userbase all around the world
Evri (HermesUK) is Now Run by Bots and Hallucinating Scammers
Years ago they virtually removed support and tried chatbots instead
 
Laos Leaving GAFAM Behind, Gradually
Yesterday evening it was measured at 10% for GNU/Linux at one point
They Were Wrong All Along
Two women combined won't deliver a healthy baby in just 4.5 months
A "Tech Journalist" Would Not Cover Vote on LLMs as a Sex Issue
For a moment there you have to pause and wonder, is this a "Tech Journalist" or the Daily Stormer?
20,000 by Year's End
The "New Techrights" will have 20,000 pages by year's end
Last Night GNU/Linux Measured at 9% in Africa
Nighttimes in Africa are times when GNU/Linux usage on desktop/laptop devices typically surges, based on Clownflare [...] It changes in favour of GNU/Linux
Gemini Links 18/08/2026: Google Bait and Switch (Getting College People 'Hooked' on 'Cheap' Storage, Then Backups Gone), a "Question of E-mail"
Links for the day
Bluesky is in Trouble
Bluesky is a private company (unlike Bluesky Digital Assets Corp. in Toronto, that one runs a pyramid scheme!), so it's hard to know for sure just how much money it is losing
Links 18/08/2026: US Abandons South Korea, New Legal Disputes Over Slop Plagiarism in the Music Scene
Links for the day
Linux Losing Interest in Users' Freedom, Pursues DRM Instead
"Linux" is (or was, as GNU/Linux) meant to empower - not artificially restrict - the users
GNU/Linux in Ecuador and Colombia: Growing, Still Below International Average
locals turn away from Windows and try GNU/Linux instead
IBM is Dead or Dying. Now It Asks Workers to 'Resign' Voluntarily.
To save face, to pretend no layoffs are happening (as it might alarm shareholders) [...] We keep hearing more and more stories like that
Links 18/08/2026: Sergey Brin Controlling State Policies, "Dario Amodei's (Anthropic) Wife Is Closely Linked to Jeffrey Epstein"
Links for the day
SBS News Interviews Daniel Pocock
The locals say this PR stunt (by the bigot, Farage) was a waste of money
Clownflare Sees One in 7 Web Requests in Libya Originating From GNU/Linux
GNU/Linux has taken a (foot)hold there
Openwashing and Manifestos Composed in Private by Dictators With Deliberately Addictive (and Subsidised, Bundled) 'Tech'
It's long, so make a cuppa first
SLAPP Censorship - Part 153 Out of 200: Decades of Debt, Weaponising Borrowed Money to Try to Put Their Critics in Debt
they've always had a financial report by now
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Monday, August 17, 2026
IRC logs for Monday, August 17, 2026
Gemini Links 18/08/2026: Solar Power, Kipple and Impermanence, Catastrophe Ethics
Links for the day
Less Technology, More Life
Technology is being associated (sometimes rightly) with physical and mental problems
Google Search Has Gotten Worse (a Lot Worse)
getting worse
Birthday in 80 Days
we'll start decorating and party online with our community
Loans and Massive Debt at Microsoft, This Won't End Well.
Microsoft running out of money to pay salaries (to the point of paying people for 'voluntary' layoffs) is a positive sign?
Gemini Links 17/08/2026: Life in Plain Text, Mimicking KARL, Release of Jugulans, Avoiding Slop
Links for the day
Clown Storage Without Backups
Setting up several reliable copies of the data, plus several off-site backups (this data is nowhere as sensitive as medical data), should only cost a few grand
FreeCAD is Becoming Slop-ware, Use LibreCAD Instead
It has regular releases and "Qt5 is mandatory" now [...] they at least audit what they add
Cuba and Venezuela High in Adoption of GNU/Linux
some of the "communist" nations
Links 17/08/2026: Myanmar’s Cholera Outbreak, China Sends Commercial Vessels Through Arctic
Links for the day
GAFAM Loyalty Has Come to an End, Morale Low, People Whose Future is Uncertain Choose to Become "Lifers"
morale is low and there's no loyalty anymore
SLAPP Censorship - Part 152 Out of 200: Injunctions Do Not Cover Criticism, They Have Scope
self-incriminating communications
Clownflare Sees About Quarter of Web Requests in Ireland Coming From GNU/Linux
Well, in Ireland it seems like many people adopted GNU/Linux
Clownflare: In Australia and New Zealand GNU/Linux Peaks at Over 10% During Working Hours
That right there is interesting in its own right
Slowing Down by Intention
At the moment we have 6 or 7 ongoing series
Gemini Links 17/08/2026: Chamboree, Partial Solar Eclipse, Lady Macbeth
Links for the day
Links 17/08/2026: "Bluesky Is Down Again!" and "Anti-Social Media"
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Sunday, August 16, 2026
IRC logs for Sunday, August 16, 2026
A Vortex of Beacons (or "Bluetooth Everywhere" Vision)
If someone (or someones) calls you paranoid for taking about "beacon"-like functionality, there will be no lack of authoritative citations (e.g. Web links) they can be provided to prove them wrong
Falkland Islands: GNU/Linux Elevated to 6%
GNU/Linux usage seems to have increased a lot there
Links 16/08/2026: Reading Outside, Going Offline More, and Art of Computer Programming
Links for the day
The Question of Patience
Is there a lesson here somewhere?
IBM May be Sued for Mass Layoffs Via PIPs
Some whole threads (with all the long comments in them) recently got nuked by thelayoff.com
Links 16/08/2026: Ceuta Reports Social Control Media Used as a Weapon
Links for the day
Links 16/08/2026: Europe in Crisis of Droughts While Energy- and Water-Consuming, Pollution-Emitting Chatbots Are Spread by GAFAM (US) to Keep a Ponzi Scheme Going
Links for the day
GNU/Linux is a Platform for Work (Usage Surges in Daytime)
GNU/Linux 15% in daytime
We Need Rain, Not Chatbots
There's no "anti-AI" (it's not even AI), there's opposition to fraud, to plagiarism, and to companies that profit more when there's global warning (caused in part by their business activities)
SLAPP Censorship - Part 151 Out of 200: Dealing With Sleazy People and Companies That Steal (While Employing These Sleazy People)
we offer a quick summary and we're reflecting
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Saturday, August 15, 2026
IRC logs for Saturday, August 15, 2026
Gemini Links 16/08/2026: Sterrenkijker Releases, Solar Gemini Server
Links for the day