03.31.23
Posted in GNU/Linux, Humour, Kernel, Microsoft at 8:38 pm by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

Summary: Phoronix Media is being acquired by a larger company; the site will not change though
Linus Gabriel Sebastian, founder of Linus Tech Tips (LTT), has just announced the transfer of Phoronix Media (best known for Phoronix.com and PTS) to his company based in Canada.
“Readers of the site won’t be affected. They can still get a spoonful of Microsoft chaff along with plenty of (other) ads.”“Phoronix.com and PTS are a strategic addition to our growing portfolio,” remarked Yvonne Ho, who will oversee the operations to ensure the benchmarks always include ClearLinux and articles habitually include a Microsoft distro that only Microsoft uses.
Michael Larabel could not be reached for comment. He has been busy this past month trying to figure out new and innovative ways to block all the ad blockers. Mr. Sebastian insists that evading ads is nothing short of piracy.
Readers of the site won’t be affected. They can still get a spoonful of Microsoft chaff along with plenty of (other) ads. █

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Posted in Debian, Humour, Microsoft at 8:13 pm by Dr. Roy Schestowitz

Summary: Today starts a journey to a “better” experience, which lets Microsoft audit the kernel and leverage telemetry to improve my Debian experience
THIS is a hard post to write. Today, April 1, I’m beginning my migration. I will report on it later today, explaining how it all went along. Maybe I’ll change my mind.
“Thankfully I already have some Microsoft MVPs like Hayden Barnes helping my migration.”Having used GNU/Linux since my teenage years I’ve decided that it’s just too boring. I’ve not rebooted Debian since January when I first installed it (only the post-install reboot) and I am beginning to wonder if there’s a bootkit somewhere inside my system. Thank God, Microsoft made “secure” boot to do this for me. As it turns out, Debian 11 is not good anymore. Vista 11 has WSL, which reinvents Cygwin, dating back to 1995. So why on Earth use only GNU/Linux? Best of both worlds, right? Anything else would be an act of bigotry and intolerance.
Thankfully I already have some Microsoft MVPs like Hayden Barnes helping my migration. They kept coming to our IRC network for years, advocating WSL. I give up! They have a point! █
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Posted in Humour, IBM, Microsoft, Red Hat at 7:46 pm by Dr. Roy Schestowitz
Microsoft hires Elon Musk to oversee layoffs, algorithm decides to fire Poettering

Summary: Poettering gets rehired by IBM; IBM and Microsoft announce merger, putting Poettering back into his former position
MICROSOFT is going through some truly tough times. There are layoffs every week, the company is unable to hide it by compelling staff to sign NDAs (the press finds out eventually), and tens of thousands of puff pieces about a chaffbot cannot distract the public entirely… from the real crisis.
“As a result, the first person to go is Lennart Poettering, who quietly defected from IBM to Microsoft only months ago.”Microsoft has just announced, in its Friday shareholders meeting, that it has convinced Elon Musk to join Microsoft’s Board of Directors and spend some time carrying out duties at Microsoft, at least at a part-time capacity, focusing on “AI”.
“Musk has demonstrated solid track record running companies that suffer deep losses,” the company said in its meeting minutes, “not only convincing a lot of staff to leave voluntarily but also laying off a significant proportion without paying severance.”
“IBM has meanwhile signalled that it is willing to rehire Mr. Poettering, but discussions are still ongoing about the IBM/Microsoft merger, which dates back to 2011.”An anonymous source told us that OpenAI has unveiled a new algorithm for HR. As a result, the first person to go is Lennart Poettering, who quietly defected from IBM to Microsoft only months ago. Poettering insists that it was not a defection, it was just a matter of wearing the correct badge after more than a decade of work, which some deemed sabotage.
IBM has meanwhile signalled that it is willing to rehire Mr. Poettering, but discussions are still ongoing about the IBM/Microsoft merger, which dates back to 2011. The discussions are already more than a decade old and Bill Gates is losing interest in them. █
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03.30.23
Posted in Deception, Europe, Patents at 8:40 pm by Dr. Roy Schestowitz
Summary: António Campinos has read a lousy script full of holes and some of the more notorious EPO talking points; we respond below
THE Benoît Battistelli era did not truly end. Another terrible liar, whose English isn’t that good (their native tongue is French), said the above. Our remarks below, preceded by timestamps:
0:06: Yes, Tony, global uncertainty like “tactical” nukes being deployed to Belarus, which you at the EPO funded. When the general public found out that the EPO had worked with and paid Belarus you just started shouting out the “F” word at staff! Like a true grown-up…
0:11: Tell us more about inventors, Tony. What did you invent?
0:17: A “record number of applications” when you openly advertise lenience and expansion of scope, e.g. “Hey Hi” (AI, software patents in new clothing)
0:25: “Up 2.5%” after a year of lockdowns
0:30: I count Europe (a continent) like a country to make it sound good when only 1 in 3 applications in the ‘European’ Patent Office is in fact European (in origin)
0:35: Growth in requests for monopolies (inside and across Europe) comes from outside Europe, so the ‘European’ Patent Office is increasingly granting European monopolies to firms that are not European
0:43 I measure “growth” in China in terms of %, year-to-year, because in relative terms (relative to the whole) not many patent applications come from China
0:50: I cannot tell the difference between patents (monopolies) and inventions, but I never invented anything, so I just read this script regardless
1:00: At 50 (not yet!) I celebrate “tremendous growth” when the number of employees is in fact decreasing, as does the calibre
1:11: I compare the present to the early 1970s to make it seem like an incredible growth (national patent offices had existed already and there was no EU)
1:20: I don’t say “software patents”, I just use some other words
1:30: I say “double-digit growth” when measuring only how many monopolies the EPO granted (lenience, pressure on examiners to meet “quotas” and “targets”), nothing economic and nothing to do with national patent offices, foreign patent offices etc.
1:37: This is 1contradicted by what Campinos said earlier because over time fewer and fewer patent applicants (relative to the whole) are European
1:40: 60% of the top 10 applicants are not European (and about 66% of the applications are not European either)
1:52: “Computer technology” does not sound like “software patents,” right?
2:00: I cannot even pronounce “sustainable” (at least I don’t say it like I say “focus”; that always, consistently sounds like “fuck yous”)
2:10 Now I read out the greenwashing part of the script they gave me because patents save the planet!!
2:50 I’ve just spent about a minute (20% of the talk) greenwashing, so let’s talk about “inclusive”
2:52 Monopolies are about social justice and helping women… or something
3:10 Now I pretend that the EPO is good for SMEs. After all, 80% of the applications come from large international businesses, so let’s twist the statistics a little…
3:17: “SMARTER FUTURE”… let’s start with some buzzwords now. Wow, “fourth industrial revolution!” Amazing stuff!! Also habitual cover for software patents…
3:32: Yes, “digital technologies” just means software patents
3:37: “Computer technology”… yes, software patents again. Up 11% in one year!
3:48: Inclusive and sustainable. We’re back to marketing…
3:53: A patent system that is a) illegal b) unconstitutional c) harmful to Europe d) initiated in violation of several conventions e) damaging to the EU’s legitimacy, i.e. a risk to the union
4:00: The “first of June” is in “just a few weeks” (9 is “few”)
4:09: First European Patent with “unitary effect” might be one of hundreds of thousands of European Patents that are legally invalid and, once challenged in court, the entire system will simply crash down because it’s illegal and was never tested in a high court before
4:20: I keep lying about how a system stacked against SMEs is in fact good for Europe because I’m backed by UPC lobbyists
4:35: I mention “US and China” as role models for Europe even though those are countries, not a collection of dozens of countries with many different cultures, languages etc.
4:39: “Game changer for innovation in Europe” is a lie. It’s game changer for litigation in Europe (more lawsuits and bigger lawsuits with vastly higher fees).
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