Gemini* and Gopher

• Personal/Opinions

  • Bored

    Sometimes being a mom is the most boring thing in the world. From the time she wakes up, my 3-year- old wants me to give her life meaning, structure, and direction. She has no sibling or pet, and she needs me to take her to school, a friend's house, or other places where she can be more independent.

    When she goes to sleep, she wants me to sleep with her. She isn't a tiny tyrant who gets her way in all things, she's a pretty well-behaved child. She just lacks much autonomy.

    I'm not three. I'm in no way stimulated by reading the books she likes, breastfeeding dolls and putting them to bed, being climbed on, hiding in closets, running around screaming crazily, and such.

  • Enchanting Dreams: The Black Clockwork Tower

    Last post, I wrote about an interesting dream I had: a dream that was more of a landscape and a feeling than any kind of story. The dream I'll write about today is similar.

    Unlike the previous dream (the Brilliant Sun in a Black Sky), there was no sense of "me" being present in this dream, although it too primarily just conveyed a setting. There was a tall, black tower -- immense, stretching into an angry red sky, filled with clouds tinged by an obscured crimson sun. There were gears and clockwork, and a general sense that the tower contained within it a great deal of machinery -- to what purpose I'm not sure. Although no one could be seen in the dream, it was clear that the tower was densely populated. There was a sense that this tower was an important structure in an empire, possibly of military purpose, for at least some of its inhabitants were warriors, and maybe sorcerers.

  • when the clock strikes midnight

    Among the depths where devils keep,
    the angels weep while counting sheep,
    for no longer have they need of sleep,
    when the clock strikes midnight.

    And when I finally fly away,
    into the great big sky, I'll say,
    "oh, how the angels used to pray!",
    when the clock struck midnight.

  • HOW DO I BE AN OPTIMIST ABOUT THIS

    because I can't not—
    not the way it sounds. despair
    found a hole in my lungs
    to nest in long ago

    but behind me is all dust
    and splinters and smudged
    names. a me anywhere else
    but here is not me is not

  • 🔤SpellBinding: AUEMNSB Wordo: SHEDS

  • Pool, Truckin'

    I went and shot pool with my friend, my ex. It's our second time meeting since I walked out on him way back in ancient history. God bless my girlfriend, if the roles were reversed I'd be furious.

    Last time, he gassed himself up about how much pool he's playing. He sucks! I somehow won 3-0, I'm just glad the rest of the bar wasn't watching us.

    I'm still having bit of an identity crisis after dropping one of my majors. I didn't have any other identity besides working myself to the bone for the last 5 years. Now what do I have? He's got a good career starting, successful friends. I felt my jealousy rise a few times. He used to be a total bum.

  • Action

    Stop thinking, stop giving consideration to news that freeze you. Move on, even better move away from them. Focus on what makes you tick, and act on them.

  • Beneath the Cottonwood 3

    I made it to the end of this path, a path I carved through this thick and seemingly impenetrable brush, such that I could gaze upon the object of my desire: an old-growth cottonwood tree. It is an impressive specimen. Its trunk spans at least four feet, the patterning of the bark a lattice of knurls and deep cracks. The age plays upon the surface of this bark as the crows-feet and wrinkles upon the elder's face, and no less wise is this woody giant. Several great arms spread out at about ten feet, and nestled in the pit formed there is a bittersweet nightshade, and a thin creek of sap running down the surface of the bark. I wonder how long this plant has been growing here, how it managed to take root here and whether it was somehow an epiphyte. My eyes continue upward. It is here that my perspective well and truly shifts, that my ego melts away. It is in these moments that I can recognize that in my day-to-day, I am not really looking at things around me, but instead something sits between my self and my senses, filtering my vision through some unknowable meddling force that somehow diminishes the subject I lay my eyes upon. The trees are a little less colorful, movement is somehow less graceful.

• Technology and Free Software

  • Internet/Gemini

    • New Blog with Gemini Support

      Here we go! Finally, my new website is now all done and published. I've used many tehcnologies over the years for my blog but this is the first time there's also a Gemini version available.

      Designwise not that much has changed, but some parts are even more minimalistic than before. And then, of course, there's the gemtext version which is minimalistic by design all the way through to the protocol level.