The Microsoft Guide to the Open Source Galaxy

Dr. Roy Schestowitz

2019-05-13 04:07:18 UTC
Modified: 2019-05-13 04:09:59 UTC

Microsoft B0rg

Thou shalt not host a FOSS project outside GitHub (otherwise it won't 'count')
Thou shalt not edit code without Visual Studio (which now has an "open" -- albeit spying and malicious -- component for openwashing purposes)
Thou shalt not code without .NET (or Mono)
Thou shalt not use a voting machine without Windows (we have just announced some openwashing component to make up for the NSA back doors that compromise elections worldwide)
Thou shalt not boot GNU/Linux as a standalone operating system (UEFI might not permit this anyway, unless we sign for approval)
Thou shalt not get get a GNU/Linux distribution outside our Store
Thou shalt not buy a computer without Windows preinstalled; those are "naked PCs" and everyone who buys such PCs is a "pirate"
Thou shalt not disparage or even publicly criticise our staff (that would be in violation of GitHub rules, a Code of Conduct, T&C and so on)
Thou shalt not report back doors in our software or leak NSA tools that take advantage of these (there's a prison sentence for doing so)
Thou shalt not write in mass media things that refute our narrative (proving that we are chronic liars); we would bribe the publication using advertising money and have you sacked
Thou shalt not use open formats such as OpenDocument except inside Microsoft Office, which is incompatible with all other software (by design)
Thou shalt not distribute Linux without paying Microsoft for patents; we're still suing companies (in 2019) for having the audacity to do so
Thou shalt not host a site or a service outside Azure; we'd sic patent trolls at you
Thou shalt not oppose Microsoft's lock-in and proprietary software shims inside Linux; we'd send our media partners (Condé Nast) to oust you, at least for a month if not permanently
Thou shalt not report our crimes to the authorities; doing so would make you a "toxic", "intolerant" person
Thou shalt not use the GPL unless all other options have been exhausted
Thou shalt not adopt a Web browser other than MSIE or our rebranded Chrome, also known as Edge; we'd occasionally tinker with your computer's settings to remind you to quit using other browsers or refuse the download of such "malware"

Recent Techrights' Posts

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Cooperation and Collaboration, on a More Personal Level: Rianne, to me, isn't just a wife; she is also my best friend
IBM Has Payroll Problems (Just Like Microsoft): It's a good thing that many nations around the world are, accordingly if not proactively, divesting from GAFAM
Links 18/05/2026: 25 Years of OLDaily and Dangers of "Living With Too Much Tech": Links for the day
Trips to London: London isn't a bad place, but it's a long journey and we'd rather stay in Manchester and write about technology
Working in the Shell (and Fish): Yesterday we spent about 5 hours on the shells and fish
The Corrupt Lecture the Non-Corrupt - Part XXVI - Campinos Has Put Unfit-for-Employment Drug Addicts in Charge of the European Patent Office (EPO): How many months has Campinos got left before the delegates show him the door?
Over at Tux Machines...: GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Sunday, May 17, 2026: IRC logs for Sunday, May 17, 2026
Gemini Links 18/05/2026: Poetry, Sauna, and GNU Taler: Links for the day
"The Society of Media Lawyers" (UK) is a Truly Malicious Anti-Media Lobby Which Helps Rich/Abusive Americans and Hostile Countries Attack Actual Media Workers in the UK: They typically source their money from aboard to besiege domestic actors (like honest journalists or independent outlets that document suppressed beats/topics)
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Gemini Links 17/05/2026: arXiv Brings Down the Hammer, UnderPOWERed, and Slopping With Tcl/Tk: Links for the day
Links 17/05/2026: Amazon Employees Herded Into Slop, Taiwan Sold Down the River by Cheeto: Links for the day
Links 17/05/2026: Society of Media Lawyers (Brett Wilson LLP et al) Lobby for More SLAPPs in the UK, “Courage in Journalism Award” Given in Oppressive Country: Links for the day
Finland Needs to Dump Microsoft (Microslop) for National Security Reasons and the Same is True for Hundreds of Countries: "I don't see why Ryssäs would want Finns to use microslop products..."
Cyber Show UK is Already Available Over Gemini Protocol: This past week the total number of active Gemini capsules hit all-time records several times
Fight Til the End: This comes to show that persistence pays off
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The Corrupt Lecture the Non-Corrupt - Part XXV - Not Bringing Intelligence to the EPO, Not 'Artificial Intelligence' Either (But Intelligence-Eroding Drugs): The EPO was meant to be about science and law. In practice, however, it's about breaking the law and being stoned.
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Over at Tux Machines...: GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Saturday, May 16, 2026: IRC logs for Saturday, May 16, 2026
Gemini Links 17/05/2026: Music Theory, Reticulum Git Repos, and Releasing Kiln: Links for the day
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Links 16/05/2026: Climate Issues, Free Speech, and Monopolies/Monopsonies: Links for the day
Gemini Links 16/05/2026: Retreat and Devuan Manuals: Links for the day
SLAPP Censorship - Part 78 Out of 200: Slandering Me for Saying the Truth About Graveley and Garrett's Abuse of Processes, Stacking Dockets: These are the sorts of things British taxpayers ought to talk about
"AI" Became a New Name or Placeholder for Debt: Because they will only ever lose money for this thing with "tokens" or "potential"
"Microsoft Goodwill and Intangible Assets" Down Two Years in a Row, According to Microsoft: Microsoft cannot sell these, so what is their real relevance?
Over at Tux Machines...: GNU/Linux news for the past day
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IBM: Shares Down 30%, Mass Layoffs, IBM Says "Goodwill" Grew by 10% to Over a Third of the Company's Total "Worth": According to IBM
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