The Microsoft Guide to the Open Source Galaxy

Dr. Roy Schestowitz

2019-05-13 04:07:18 UTC
Modified: 2019-05-13 04:09:59 UTC

Microsoft B0rg

Thou shalt not host a FOSS project outside GitHub (otherwise it won't 'count')
Thou shalt not edit code without Visual Studio (which now has an "open" -- albeit spying and malicious -- component for openwashing purposes)
Thou shalt not code without .NET (or Mono)
Thou shalt not use a voting machine without Windows (we have just announced some openwashing component to make up for the NSA back doors that compromise elections worldwide)
Thou shalt not boot GNU/Linux as a standalone operating system (UEFI might not permit this anyway, unless we sign for approval)
Thou shalt not get get a GNU/Linux distribution outside our Store
Thou shalt not buy a computer without Windows preinstalled; those are "naked PCs" and everyone who buys such PCs is a "pirate"
Thou shalt not disparage or even publicly criticise our staff (that would be in violation of GitHub rules, a Code of Conduct, T&C and so on)
Thou shalt not report back doors in our software or leak NSA tools that take advantage of these (there's a prison sentence for doing so)
Thou shalt not write in mass media things that refute our narrative (proving that we are chronic liars); we would bribe the publication using advertising money and have you sacked
Thou shalt not use open formats such as OpenDocument except inside Microsoft Office, which is incompatible with all other software (by design)
Thou shalt not distribute Linux without paying Microsoft for patents; we're still suing companies (in 2019) for having the audacity to do so
Thou shalt not host a site or a service outside Azure; we'd sic patent trolls at you
Thou shalt not oppose Microsoft's lock-in and proprietary software shims inside Linux; we'd send our media partners (Condé Nast) to oust you, at least for a month if not permanently
Thou shalt not report our crimes to the authorities; doing so would make you a "toxic", "intolerant" person
Thou shalt not use the GPL unless all other options have been exhausted
Thou shalt not adopt a Web browser other than MSIE or our rebranded Chrome, also known as Edge; we'd occasionally tinker with your computer's settings to remind you to quit using other browsers or refuse the download of such "malware"

Recent Techrights' Posts

Things Will Only Get Better (as We Go Backwards): It only gets better. If you go back in time.
UK High Court Shows SRA is Totally Useless in Curbing SLAPPs, This Has Impact on Our Reporting on the SRA Next Week: We'll carry on our coverage and soon finish the current series that so we can get on with more time-sensitive ones
Gemini Links 22/09/2026: Scout Night, Cybernetic Capitalism, and Thoughts on Companies Forcing People to Adopt Plagiarism Engines: Links for the day
Links 22/09/2026: "An Arsenal of Surveillance" and Slop Bots Suggest Starting Wars: Links for the day
SLAPP Censorship - Part 193 Out of 200: Breaks GNU and Linux, Tries to Silence Critics, Loses All Money, Looks for Microsoft Allies and Sponsors: The latest emotional knee-jerk reactions serve to confirm what we have long said
Over at Tux Machines...: GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Monday, September 21, 2026: IRC logs for Monday, September 21, 2026
Links 21/09/2026: "Lies of the Hey Hi (AI) Industry" and Solar Power Is Getting Cheap: Links for the day
Gemini Links 21/09/2026: Equinox and Beginner's Guide to Gemini: Links for the day
Links 21/09/2026: "Back On My Bicycle" and American Regime's War on Media Escalates Further: Links for the day
SLAPP Censorship - Part 192 Out of 200: The Hired Guns of Garrett and Graveley Sent Us USB Sticks (One to Me, One to My Wife) Showing Lozza Talking to Garrett About Censoring/Deplatforming Techrights the Same Time Graveley Was Copy-Pasting Garrett's Lawsuit: Next year we plan to bring this matter to the Court of Appeal
Linux Kernel Becoming a Slopfest - Part 6 - Seeing Who Contaminates Linux With Slop (And Also Admits It): Today we begin looking at some culprits
2026: The Year Galleries Realised the Need to Flag or Cull Slop Images: Society needs to shun slopfarms, people who use LLM slop (for anything at all), companies that use bots (which they dub "agents"), and so-called 'coders' who volley garbage into project and software hubs
Software Freedom Day Celebrated in 5 or 6 Continent: Software Freedom Day (SFD) 2026 was big this year
SLAPP Censorship - Part 191 Out of 200: Garrett, Graveley and Lozza: They talk to and coordinate with one another
Over at Tux Machines...: GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Sunday, September 20, 2026: IRC logs for Sunday, September 20, 2026
Gemini Links 21/09/2026: Digital Hoarder, GTD, Minimalism vs Digital Minimalism, Rejection of LLMs: Links for the day
Links 20/09/2026: "Google Now Asking For Users’ Video Selfies" and Energy Prices Set to Rise: Links for the day
Enjoy the Giving/Sharing, Not Taking: We've long supported what we believed in, even with the little money we had
Links 20/09/2026: Amazon Layoffs, Flock 'Buyouts' (Silent Layoffs): Links for the day
USCIS and Microsoft Rumours: Curbs on Lowering Salaries by Importing Cheaper Replacements?: It seems like Microsoft's mass layoffs and efforts to cheapen the workforce face obstacles
Gemini Links 20/09/2026: "Music While Working" and Radio Silence: Links for the day
Clownflare Data From Canada: We've like to think many people are attempting to install GNU/Linux over the weekend
SLAPP Censorship - Part 190 Out of 200: Plagiarism, Back Doors, and Sabotage of Linux: This can go on for a decade or longer
Linux Kernel Becoming a Slopfest - Part 5 - Kernel Dependency on Plagiarism Giant Microsoft is a Death Blow to Any Kernel: Microsoft is bringing copyright-infringing slop into Linux
GNU/Linux Has Grown a Lot Lately: Based on Clownflare
Over at Tux Machines...: GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Saturday, September 19, 2026: IRC logs for Saturday, September 19, 2026