Bonum Certa Men Certa

The EPO's 'IT' Systems Have Become a ClusterZuck, Based on EPO Insiders

Facebook Meta Announcement: Please like!
When a patent office becomes all about nepotism and politics, at the expense of science and technology



Summary: The comical state of EPO "IT" is explained in a cynical communication entitled "The Joys of Technology"

THE EPO has long had "IT" issues. Benoît Battistelli already chucked literally hundreds of millions of euros down the bin with his utterly awful "IT" systems. It was so bad that António Campinos appointees had to bury the whole thing and earlier this year they illegally outsourced their systems to Microsoft. Even the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO), which is American, did not go that far, except for document formats.



"The EPO rapidly loses control of its own systems!"Circulating among EPO staff at the moment is a document about the latest "epic fail" at the Office. Does the Office management ever care to understand Quality Control? No, to them (the 'suits'), "Quality" just means speed; in other words, hurry up already!

The Central Staff Committee (CSC) asks: "Are you also participating in the weekly “noreply_bit Bingo”? Wondering how many of these frequent mass emails will be crying for your attention this week again? We feel sorry for our BIT colleagues who see themselves forced to make the impossible possible, scrambling to keep our services up and running. They deserve our support and understanding. At the same time, we suggest that everyone keeps a record of these many interruptions, as they inevitably impact on your production."

We know how "production" gets measured; the management calls the grant of many software patents "production" and EPO examiners are compelled to play along (or get sacked for low "production"). Likewise, their "BIT" colleagues are made to work with unsuitable infrastructure, some of which has been outsourced to profoundly incompetent companies. The EPO rapidly loses control of its own systems! This should never be happening!

Anyway, reproduced below is the 2-page publication from the CSC

Munich,16/12/2021 sc21150cp

The Joys of Technology

Weekly noreply_bit Bingo

Dear Colleagues,

Are you also participating in the weekly “noreply_bit Bingo”? Wondering how many different incident / issue / release notice / software update / ... you will be receiving this week again? Wondering how often you will ‘kindly’ be told to restart your computer, to wait for the VPN connection to be available again, to be ‘thanked for your understanding’ while some essential tools are offline or otherwise dreadfully slow?

Wondering which new tools, e-learning modules, PGP digital process update, intranet links, video messages, newsletters... will be crying for your attention this week?

The pattern is all too frequent and recurring and we feel sorry for our BIT colleagues who are tasked time and again to jump through hoops while scrambling to resume normal service. BIT staff make the impossible possible and they deserve our support and understanding.

Computer and connectivity problems are a fact of life. There is no avoiding the fact that technology will fail from time to time and that updates and restarts will be necessary – yet the staff of our ‘model international organisation’, ‘at the forefront of technology’ seem to have to endure more than their fair share of IT issues in these distributed times.

The Office proudly proclaims that it works for a “Minimum Viable Product” – yet seems to forget that staff then needs to do actual work with this “Minimum Viable Product” – a tool which often turns out to be overly cumbersome to work with, buggy or incomplete, and will have to undergo several updates before it can be called anywhere near a final, working product. Agile development may sound very cool – unfortunately it means the user will get a rough first draft to plod through. It compromises the quality of our data with numerous time-consuming changes and updates requiring retroactive corrections as the versions evolve. And with each such “agile minimum viable product” productivity gains are heralded as if it were the best thing since sliced bread.

The tools we get should be there to enable or help us to do our work – all too often they seem more likely to hold people back.

The BIT administration seems to have launched their staff into a sprint – but they forgot to check if their development teams were able to walk stably first. The weekly “noreply_bit Bingo” nicely illustrates this conundrum, and one can only wonder which hefty budgets are necessary to fuel these efforts.

There appears to be a fundamental mismatch between the goals given to BIT staff and the needs of the Office: BIT staff seem to have to provide new tools, releases, and updates at an unprecedented pace in more than 40 years of history of the Office. On the one hand this puts them under undue pressure: for instance they are not even able to maintain the habitual change freeze for the month of December.

On the other hand, the continuous issuing of new tools and releases - most of them turning out to be beta versions - ends up in slowing staff down in a continuous effort of adaptation and learning, rather than helping staff in achieving their challenging targets. This is not working smart.

Staff Representation, which has always advocated a smart way of working for EPO staff, calls on the administration to reconsider this ill-conceived and counter-productive policy of pushing BIT to issue new products and releases at a pace which is unnatural and unsustainable for staff in all DG’s and BIT alike.

Even if we all work in a bean-counting system where every tap on the keyboard is timed and monitored, and tallied up in a huge, big ranking excel sheet to decide who gets the box of chocolates at the end of the year, our ‘model international organisation’ has forgotten to include the result of the weekly “noreply_bit Bingo” in their bean-counting system. The time lost here is simply not accounted for. This, we can compensate for during evenings and weekends. Could this be the reason why core hours and flexitime are about to be chopped?

One thing we can be sure of: the weekly “noreply_bit Bingo” keeps our mailboxes full and gives ample evidence that our mail servers are quite capable of handling frequent mass emails.

In the meantime, make sure to keep a record of the time lost due to all of these outages, to the e-learning modules, due to scouting around the intranet trying to find the updated “How-To” guides. Keep track of each entry on your “noreply_bit Bingo” sheet. It may come in handy for the inevitable “gap analysis” during the appraisal cycle: we are not so sure yet how the new coveted “holistic approach” will cater for this.

The Central Staff Committee


Since they're mentioned “gap analysis”, how can we forget the "gap"...?

Video download link | md5sum daa6c4b14f45f1292dcf04348028c109

Recent Techrights' Posts

GitLab the Latest Company to Do Mass Layoffs and Use Slop as the Go-to Excuse (GitLab Users Should Worry Too)
This round of layoffs (disguised as something else) has nothing to do with slop ("hey hi"). It's about commercial problems.
The Corrupt Lecture the Non-Corrupt - Part XX - EPO Management's Unified (One) Voice or Policy is, Doing Cocaine is OK When You're a Friend and/or Family of President Campinos
The management needs to resign to save the Office
Technology Not Meant to Last
A society apathetic towards declining production (or manufacturing) standards will end up ripped off
statCounter Cannot 'See' Chinese Operating Systems That Gain Many Millions of Users Per Month
There is no way for statCounter to recognise or show the market share of HarmonyOS
SLAPP Censorship - Part 74 Out of 200: The Basis of My Lawsuit Against Alex Graveley, Who Helps Garrett Stack the Docket in Another Continent
claim against the Serial Strangler from Microsoft
Update on Slop About "Linux"
"Linux" is a term many people are interested it, so it's not shocking that slopfarms target it
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Monday, May 11, 2026
IRC logs for Monday, May 11, 2026
GAFAM (Microsoft) "Cloud Computing" Means Another Country's Military Accesses All Your Data
reminder that confidentiality and Clown Computing are complete opposites
Another Discrimination Lawsuit Against IBM and Workers Say IBM Culls Older Workers (Just Like Microsoft)
If IBM fails to retain some of the smartest people, then what is the future of IBM?
Gemini Links 12/05/2026: Android Nostalgia and Switching to Guix
Links for the day
Links 11/05/2026: Another Oracle Setback and Mass Layoffs in Iran
Links for the day
Gemini Links 11/05/2026: Older Can Be Faster and Textmode Workflow
Links for the day
Links 11/05/2026: The Solicitors Regulation Authority (SRA) Admits It Only Reacts When It's Too Late (Damage Already Done), Ombudsman’s Animal Cruelty HK Report
Links for the day
If It Takes You a Second to Serve (or Receive) a Page, That's Definitely Too Slow
For speeds at milliseconds (e.g. for pages to fully load in a tenth of a second) the pages must be ready to be sent as soon as they're requested
It's Not About Speed, It is About Patience and Adherence to Truth, Principles, Scientific Integrity
attacks on us only ever made us stronger - a lesson that our adversaries have learned the hard way
Cyber Show Does it Like Techrights: Static and Gemini Protocol as 'First-Class Citizen'
HTML and GemText (over Gemini Protocol) would be rendered in tandem
Libya's Share on the Web: 5.2% GNU/Linux
GNU/Linux has hit an all-time high there
SLAPP Censorship - Part 73 Out of 200: Microsoft's Graveley and Garrett Remain Closely Connected in May 2026 ("Tag-Teaming" Against Bloggers in Another Continent)
The phrase "judge a person by their friends" seems applicable here
Codecs and Software Patents - Part VI - The European Patent Office, Nokia, Microsoft, Sisvel, and More
Whatever Nokia used to be, it's certainly not an ally and a lot of the turmoil at the EPO is the fault of companies like Nokia
Discussions About When the Axe Falls at IBM/Kyndryl (11,000 Layoffs Estimated)
"Kyndryl restructuring should reduce overhead functions and reduce the number of managers that lack technical knowledge"
A World After Microsoft (and GAFAM) and After GitHub Shuts Down
the only growth area is debt
Fake News, Propaganda, and Misinformation: Microsoft Investing Money It Does Not Have in "Hey Hi" (for "Entertainment Purposes" Only)
This will not end well
Today the Whole European Patent Office (EPO) is on Strike and Next Monday an Even Bigger Strike
the media refuses to cover these and is thus complicit
The Corrupt Lecture the Non-Corrupt - Part IXX - EPO Management Speaks of Reputation and Integrity While Putting Cocaine Addicts in Management
If the EPO values its "reputation", then it needs to start by ousting the management
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Sunday, May 10, 2026
IRC logs for Sunday, May 10, 2026
Links 11/05/2026: Security Breaches, Politics, and Energy Crunch
Links for the day
Gemini Links 10/05/2026: "Accidental Cameras" and "Addictive" Interfaces in Social Control Media
Links for the day
Codecs and Software Patents - Part V - A Reminder That GAFAM and the European Patent Office (Which Serves American Monopolists) Do Considerable Harm to the Commons and Culture
some 'breaking' developments
Gemini Links 10/05/2026: Inkscape, Guix, and Alhena 5.5.8
Links for the day
The "Alicante Mafia" at the European Patent Office (EPO) Experiments With New Methods for Crushing Industrial Actions
Open letter to VP1 and the COO [...] What does this tell us about the status quo at the European Patent Office, Europe's second-largest institution?
The Corrupt Lecture the Non-Corrupt - Part XVIII - "The European Patent Office (EPO) has a zero-tolerance policy for fraud" (except when managers do it)
The guidebook of the EPO says fraud is not to be tolerated, but who enforces or revisits such "Red Lines"?
Links 10/05/2026: Hantavirus Brings Back 'Contact Tracing' Surveillance, "Staple Food Prices Soar in Iran"
Links for the day
Microsoft XBox Staff Know They're in Trouble, They Try to Unionise Ahead of Mass Layoffs
As the slang goes, it's going to be a "bloodbath"
Links 10/05/2026: Fake Suicide Notes and New EU Restrictions on Slop
Links for the day
SLAPP Censorship - Part 72 Out of 200: Microsoft's Graveley and Garrett Signed Documents That Hold Them Accountable to Truth and Liable for Lies
Such collaborations are unsavoury and apparently unprofessional, too
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Saturday, May 09, 2026
IRC logs for Saturday, May 09, 2026
Gemini Links 10/05/2026: Travelling to Van and "Dark Mode" as Passing Fad
Links for the day