Bonum Certa Men Certa

The 'Modern' Web

Reprinted with permission from Ryan Farmer

I Just Call It “Diarrhea Code” When I Encounter a Website That Won’t Work in SeaMonkey.



When you’re not nice to idiots who make “Modern” stuff, like “Diarrhea Code”, they pretty much just ban you from everything.



It’s “bad” to be opposed to bloated Web sites that stick out a sign saying you’re not welcome here because they’ve made a mess and it only works in Firefox and Chromium.



The reason I call code meant for Chromium “Diarrhea Code” is because it reminds me of what happens to a toilet bowl after you had too much Taco Bell and Mountain Dew. Stuff goes flying everywhere, it’s nasty, it makes the paint peel off the walls. It makes the buttons melt off your shirt. And you can’t wait to get rid of it.



20 years ago people began to push for what the Web is now. Binary blobs that run untrustworthy applications in your browser, too much JavaScript, HTML files that are several MB long and impossible to read that call out to this.



And they criticized people like me for writing clean, readable, markup, which was parsed, displayed, and presented to the user, over dial up modems, in a matter of seconds.



In 1999, you could right-click on my site and read the entire source code of the page. You didn’t have to take my word as to what was in there. I couldn’t have hidden much in there if I wanted to. HTML 3 and 4 were clean and readable by humans.



People said the situation where browsers would “forgive” slightly bogus tag use or the occasional typo (which I checked for) was “unacceptable” and now you have Microsoft Azure pumping in stuff that’s barely even code when you try to pay your electric bill with ComEd, and Chrome, Firefox, and Edge happily try to make sense of tens of megabytes of that.



Today in the GNOME room I was somewhat horrified to learn that you can make a Firefox .desktop that can handle mailto: with a Webmail “provider”.



I responded,



Webmail *barf*



They all have different interfaces. Piles of JavaScript, their spam filtering is not uniformly effective, and they almost always have ads and tracking scripts, or at least whitespace where the ads are supposed to go. Consider SeaMonkey Mail.



Now if you do load Outlook in Firefox, it tries to register itself to handle mailto: *rolls eyes* with a banner that pops up. Also, I have to lie to Google about my SeaMonkey UA with a pref to make it think I’m Thunderbird, even though the underlying Mail code IS FROM THUNDERBIRD.



Jamie Zawinski’s “Law of Software Envelopment” said that all programs expand until they can read email.



Giving mail so some garbage Web browser, which is made to run “Diarrhea Code” is only about the worst way you could expand something to read email.



Email belongs in a reader that supports POP3 and IMAP. Email should be text-only.



Sylpheed is a good Email program, but I doubt it could even handle GMail because of the entire OAuth debacle and needing to load a Web page to handle that, which sniffs to see if you’re “on the list” of allegedly secure “apps”, like Thunderbird, which just rewrote the entire GUI.



Someone already wrote why WASMs are terrible for security.



They have introduced an entire unique set of CVEs (listed in the monthly Mozilla patch updates, WASMs are roughly 10% of the attack footprint of the entire Firefox browser!) that will never stop, and they’re on by default in Tor Browser.



If you use a Web browser to handle your mail, eventually what they’re probably going to do is just rewrite the entire “Web” thing into a WASM blob which is so much worse than “Diarrhea Code”.



It won’t even be markup and scripts anymore. Just a binary program you can run it like it is, and none of your extensions (NoScript, ublock-origin, etc.) can act on the elements as they come in.



WASM is part of the Google trap to destroy the Open Web.



Widevine (Web DRM…I turn it off) and WASM are the warm up band for WEI.



And why wouldn’t you trust some skeevy porn or bittorrent site to send a WASM your way?



After all, Windows is a *very secure* operating system because you can just trust the operating system company that already has 95% of the total malware to make sure that WASMs can’t do any harm. 😛



And Mozilla can *obviously* make sure they stay in the “sandbox”. *LOL*



Even when they do stay in the browser sandbox, they can still do a lot of damage. They can spy on the user. They can mine crypto.



Crypto Miners that load in Web pages boasted that they were early adopters of WASM and they could use the victim’s phone or laptop to mine “Monero” at “70% of the speed of a native program”.



Turn it off.



Security Posers talking about “threat models” and “Secure Boot” in the firmware are just absolutely laughable in light of all of the new threats the same people, and the companies that handle them, stuff into everything.



This is worse than ActiveX and Internet Explorer. At least all you had to do to stay safe from that was find some other browser.



Now all Mozilla does is blind copy things from Google.

Recent Techrights' Posts

European Patent Office (EPO) Strikes Persist, EPO Management Tries to Give False Impression of "Happy Staff"
EPO is trying to broadcast to the world a totally phony image of itself
The End of FOSSPost (fosspost.org), It Has become an LLM Slopfarm Like FOSSLinux
These sites will never get lucky with slop. These experiments always end badly.
 
SLAPP Censorship - Part 85 Out of 200: The United Kingdom's Rating for Press Freedom Has Improved, But We Can Do Even Better
we see the US at #64
Sites Realise That Becoming More Active by Using Bots (LLM Slop) is Self-Destructive
We'll soon (maybe next year) also show that some of the 85+ KG of legal papers sent our way are computer-generated garbage, which might run afoul of some rules
Gemini Links 23/05/2026: Patience, LLM Chatbts Being Bad, and Unexpected Computer Surgery
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Friday, May 22, 2026
IRC logs for Friday, May 22, 2026
Links 22/05/2026: Ebola Crisis and Samsung Averts a Walkout With Big Bonuses
Links for the day
Links 22/05/2026: Inflation Fears and Thailand Tightens Visa Rules for Tourists From Dozens of Nations
Links for the day
EPO Staff Representation Speaks of This Week's Discussion With the EPO's Budget and Finance Committee (BFC) Amid Mass Strikes
The Central Staff Committee's outline (prepared in a rush) or the "flash report"
SLAPP Censorship - Part 84 Out of 200: New Legislation Against SLAPPs on the Way (After We Reached Out to Ministers)
They dealt with the matter individually too, but we won't share this in public, at least not at this time
The Corrupt Lecture the Non-Corrupt - Part XXX - Where Was "The Ethics and Compliance Team" When the Family of EPO President Campinos Was Caught Doing Cocaine?
It remains to be seen if national delegates will tolerate this in future meetings
Gemini Links 22/05/2026: Esperanto Music History, Suspicious Adoption of Signal, and Unauthorised LLM Slop in Code
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Thursday, May 21, 2026
IRC logs for Thursday, May 21, 2026
Links 21/05/2026: "Declining America" and Why Slop 'Code' is Made to Fail
Links for the day
Techrights and Tux Machines Subjected to Cyberattacks for Several Weeks
In the past I spoke to the cybercrime unit of British Police. Maybe it's time to do so again.
The Register MS Has Become a 'Content' Farm Promoting Slop for Hostile Corporations
Now they call it "PARTNER CONTENT" - not "SPONSORED" - as if semantics make the difference
Latest Example of Widespread Fake Assertions (False News) About "Hey Hi"
The false narrative of "Hey Hi layoffs"
Links 21/05/2026: Facebook Rewarded With Tax Breaks to Destroy the Environment and Cause Global Warming, Shortages, Pollution; SpaceX (SPCX) Continues Losing Billions of Dollars
Links for the day
Codecs and Software Patents - Part VIII - GNU Audio/Video Team Has Chosen the AV1 Video Codec and It Explains Why (They've Researched Their Options)
AV1 video codec will be used to encode and share GNU videos online
Dr. Stallman Helps Establish Free Software Advocacy Outside the Free Software Foundation (FSF) as Well
The ideals or principles of Free Software needn't be centralised or monopolised; they can be federated
22 Years of Tux Machines and a Community Stronger Than Ever Before
We've already received some feedback from the community and improved it accordingly
Microsoft Under Investigation for Breaches of Law in the UK
Just like the Microsofters
More Microsoft Layoffs on the Way (June and July 2026)
with or without PIPs
LWN Sponsored by the Linux Foundation (Monopolies)
We must be able to casually point this out
The Corrupt Lecture the Non-Corrupt - Part XXIX - European Patent Office (EPO) Tells Staff "Speaking up" is Good, But Not When the "Brother-in-law" of EPO's President Does Cocaine
Do we still have a functioning democracy and potent press?
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Wednesday, May 20, 2026
IRC logs for Wednesday, May 20, 2026
Gemini Links 21/05/2026: Immigration, Slop, and Slop 'Code' Suggestions Infesting Code Repositories
Links for the dayGemini Links 21/05/2026: Immigration, Slop, and Slop 'Code' Suggestions Infesting Code Repositories