Bonum Certa Men Certa

Bill Gates Joins USPTO as Chief Adviser

Bill Gates
Image from World Economic Forum



Summary: Career monopolist joins the ranks of the US monopoly office, the mighty USPTO

MR. Bill Gates, inventor of the universal PC tax, and co-inventor of seed tax and vaccine tax, has joined the USPTO as its principal advisor, helping to grant more American opportunists an international monopoly on an area of life. Farmers, scientists, and teachers organised to protest outside the USPTO headquarters, but many Ill people were among them too, so there is clearly a pattern here and we should dismiss them as mentally ill.



"We are seeking to discover ways to monetise the consumption of air and water," explained David Kappos, "but this has proven too controversial." Mr. Gates with his privatised news sites can help the USPTO utilise newspeak and increase profit for shareholders, he enthusiastically told us. Moreover, he explained, Gates' friend in the patent licensing industry has already acquired many public patents, especially from national universities. "This can help us assert our God-given right to tax more of mother nature's resources, citing the wonderful service we do to scientists," Kappos explained.

President Obama lauded the appointment, stressing that it will help Monsanto feed the hungry investors more rapidly, thus creating more jobs and privatising the remainder of life, putting DNA in the hands of responsible staff with career experience in toxic chemical production and manufacturing of intellectual monopolies.

Bill Gates could not be reached for comment due to his busy schedule, but we were able to receive feedback from his good and honest marketing staff in the Gates Foundation. "In a survey we commissioned last year," they told us, "a subsection of the population whom we deem better informed told us that Gates' involvement in the USPTO will help society."

Bill Gates is still criticised by some bitter theorists, such as the USDOJ, who consider him to be a felon. Clearly to everyone who is normal, jealousy is becoming an epidemic. Either you are jealous or you love Monsanto monopoly. If you do not like Monsanto, then you are a follower of Alex Jones and should seek professional help immediately.

Disclosure: Techrights received a $100,000 donation from the Gates Foundation, but maintains its professional independence.

Recent Techrights' Posts

2025 Will be Fought and Fraught With LLM Slop or Fake 'Articles' (Former Media/News Sites Turning to Marketing Spam)
The elephant in the room?
Brittany Day Can Rest and Let Microsoft/Chatbots Write Fake 'Articles' About "Linux" This Christmas
Who said people don't work on Christmas? Chatbots or plagiarism-as-a-service work 24/7, every day of the year except during Microsoft downtimes
 
Microsoft Openwashing Stunts Initiative (OSI) is A Vulture in "Open" Clothing
it's quite telling that the OSI isn't protecting the Open Source Definition
Gemini Links 25/12/2024: Reality Bites and Gopher Thanks
Links for the day
Links 26/12/2024: Japan-China Mitigations and Mozambique Prison Escape (1,500 Prisoners)
Links for the day
Links 26/12/2024: Ukraine's Energy Supplies Bombed on Christmas Day, Energy Lines Cut/Disrupted in the Baltic Sea Again
Links for the day
Gemini Links 26/12/2024: Rot Economy, Self-hosted Tinylogs
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Wednesday, December 25, 2024
IRC logs for Wednesday, December 25, 2024
[Meme] Time to Also Investigate Bill Gaetz
Investigation overdue
IBM Has Almost Obliterated or Killed the Entire Fedora Community (Not IBM Staff)
Remaining Fedora insiders are well aware of this, but bringing this up (an "accusation" against IBM) might be a CoC violation
Links 25/12/2024: Fentanylware (TikTok) Scams and "Zelle Scams Lead to $870M Loss"
Links for the day
Links 25/12/2024: Windows TCO Brought to SSH, Terence Eden 'Retires'
Links for the day
Links 25/12/2024: Latest Report Front Microsoft Splinter Group, War Updates
Links for the day
Links 25/12/2024: Hong Kong Attacks Activists During Holidays, Xerox to Buy Lexmark
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Tuesday, December 24, 2024
IRC logs for Tuesday, December 24, 2024
Gemini Links 25/12/2024: Open Source Social and No Search
Links for the day
Brittany Day Connects Windows Ransomware to "Linux" Using Microsoft LLMs (FUD Galore, Zero Effort, No Accountability)
FUD and misinformation made by Microsoft LLMs again?
Links 24/12/2024: Labour Strikes and TikTok Scrambling to Prop Up Radical Politicians That Would Protect TikTok
Links for the day
Where the Population is Controlled by Skinnerboxes Inside People's Pockets (or Purses)
A very small fraction of mobile users practise or exercise freedom/control over the skinnerbox
[Meme] Coin-Operated Publishers (Gaming the Message, Buying the Narrative)
Advertise (sponsor) to 'play'
Advertisers and Their Covert Impact on Publications' Output (or Writers' Topics of Choice, as Assigned or Approved by Editors)
It cannot be trivially denied that sponsorship in the form of "advertising" impacts where publishers go (or don't go, won't go)
Terrible Year for Microsoft Windows in Cyprus
down from 86% to 72% since January
[Meme] How to Kill Unions (Staff on Shoestring Budget Cannot Afford Lawyers)
What next for the EPO? "Gig economy"?
The EPO's Staff Union (SUEPO) Takes Legal Action to Rectify the Decrease in Wages (Lessening of Purchasing Power)
here is what the union published
Gemini Links 24/12/2024: Deedum Gemini Client Gets Colour Support, Advent of Code 2024
Links for the day
Microsoft Windows Slides to New Lows in Colombia
Now Windows is at an all-time low
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Monday, December 23, 2024
IRC logs for Monday, December 23, 2024