Summary: A show I just caught on TV...

29M

YouTube version

Transcript:

Fake TV interview with the fake President of the EPO, Benoît Hernandez

I'm the President

They call me Blatter, they think that's clever and they think that I care

Well done, idiots, but let me tell you something

I do whatever the f*** I want

One way or another I'll get my chinchillas at the Council to do what I tell them

I got myself total immunity

It's great, isn't it?

Seriously

I can even punish innocent people

F*** em!

And I do it all the time, even yesterday with that French dude, you should have seen that look on his face when he packed his things

I wrote an internal announcement and said "sniper" again

Some people actually believe all this bullshit and join FFPE afterwards

Some bloody idiots

They actually believe I ride a bicycle

Like I'm some friggin' peasant

They don't know I'm trying to get an EPO limo

You can't make this s*** up

I can say anything I want

I lie several times a day and the media repeats the lies

Bloody bloody stupid media, they don't even fact-check before publishing their s***

I got them by the balls

Some of them became media partners of the EPO

See, that's the media, that's how it operates

Throw some money at FTI Consulting and it's done

My nose doesn't even grow any longer

Imagine if they checked the facts

I'd look like a crook

Even Jesper would poke fun at me

He knows me, even my salary and my contractual increases

It's massive!

Elodie signed it all off!

Even VP4's

We told the chinchillas he's awesome

And law-abiding despite all that c*** in Croatia

You should have seen what he did in Croatia to his staff, one person even committed suicide

And that's actually funny?

Yes, I killed 5 in my Office

It doesn't get any better than this

I've ruined entire families

You start with a disciplinary action

And they never know what's gonna hit them?

I tell them perception of justice and all that nonsense about appeals and ILO

Little do they know I'll be back with Sarkozy in my mid-seventies by the time ILO touches the darn thing

I actually find it very amusing

Did I tell you about my Willy?

He told Dutch television their High Court is rubbish

You should have seen Raimund, he wanted to hug him