Bonum Certa Men Certa

Some of the USPTO's Most Ridiculous Patents Are Scrutinised by “Above the Law” While Dennis Crouch Attempts to Tarnish Alice



Whereas Charles Duan (below) compares patents to monopolies

Charles DuanSummary: Controversies over patent scope and level of novelty required for a patent; as usual, public interest groups try to restrict patent scope, whereas those who make money out of abundance of patents attempt to remove every barrier

THE declining quality of European Patents (EPs) is a real issue at the EPO. But that pales in comparison to some of the patents granted by the US patent office. USPTO patents include a method of swinging a swing, for example. Sideways. Yes, it's a patent!



"Ever tried swinging from side to side on a swing instead of back & forth? Turns out, that method is patented," United for Patent Reform wrote, linking to this article from earlier this month. It's a pretty infamous patent which we mentioned here before.

"There's also a patent for the "comb-over"," one person reminded me today. This too we mentioned here a very long time ago.

From the article at “Above the Law”:

The United States Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) has granted some pretty ridiculous patents over the years. It makes me wonder about the quality of patents they’re not granting. If you’re interested in patent policy, you should really read the Electronic Frontier Foundation’s (EFF) “Stupid Patent of the Month” column (EFF actually has the Mark Cuban Endowed Chair to Eliminate Stupid Patents), which is exactly what it describes itself to be: an incredible collection of outrageous, low-quality, obvious claims that USPTO somehow deemed worthy of monopoly protection. While some of these have since been revoked or overturned, just remember that they were once granted. Note that the Supreme Court in recent years has—often unanimously—overturned several patents, clarifying patentability criteria, which should impact the number of stupid patents being granted. And, I note that the collection of ridiculous patents below does not include items that actually meet patentability thresholds, but are just crazy ideas; instead, they cover things that probably should never have been granted a patent to begin with.



How about the other picks from the EFF?

"Unfortunately, the negligent USPTO will issue patents to people like this. Here's one on a mundane training regime," the EFF's Daniel Nazer wrote about this patent and there's more in Twitter (in this thread, for context).

Why did the examiners at the USPTO accept these applications and how did that slip through the system without adequate safeguards? This is why things like PTAB (to be covered separately) are required.

Earlier today we also stumbled upon this truly ridiculous article from the National Law Review. It wants us to think of methods as objects and the headline is a loaded question: "Why Can’t A Method Be Sold, Just Like Any Other Invention?"

U.S. Patent and Trademark Office guidelines do not currently allow patentees to directly claim software inventions, thereby encouraging use of other claim types such as method claims. As a result, the patent office has issued many patents with method claims directed to software inventions. But patentees who rely on method claims to protect their software inventions — and indeed all patentees with method claims — face a significant obstacle that has been imposed by the Federal Circuit.

Specifically, the Federal Circuit has held for purposes of infringement that method inventions are not considered made or sold even if they are necessarily used by or embodied in products that are made or sold. This has the effective result of helping infringers to exploit patented method inventions by selling products that make use of the invention — even in ordinary and expected usage of the product — while evading legitimate attempts by the patentee to remedy the infringement. Below, we suggest that the Federal Circuit’s position is incorrect and unnecessarily hampers protection and enforcement of method inventions, disproportionately affecting software. The Federal Circuit should change course and clarify that methods can be sold just like any other invention in certain circumstances.



The first paragraph says "software inventions" three times. It's obvious that people who never developed software can't quite grasp that programming isn't "invention".

We assume that many law professors still deliberately misunderstand software development and incidentally, there's this new article today about Judge William H. Alsup of the northern district of California learning how to code in order to better understand the Oracle v Google case (copyrights and patents).

Earlier today Dennis Crouch wrote about the Federal Circuit, claiming that on Alice the "Turnstile Keeps Spinning" even though nowadays (this year) the court almost always invalidates software patents. It's becoming more consistent over time, but to lobbyists like Crouch (promoting patent maximalists' and trolls' agenda) it's a "Turnstile", apparently. To quote:

In a split opinion, the Federal Circuit has affirmed the district court’s judgment on the pleadings – R. 12(c) – that the asserted claims of SSI’s four patents are invalid under Section 101 for claiming an abstract idea. U.S. Patent Nos. 7,566,003, 7,568,617, 8,505,816, and 8,662,390. (Claim 14 of the ‘003 patent – covering a method for validating entry to a city bus or train – is reproduced below).

[...]

As the Supreme Court has done in its 101 analysis, Judge Linn linked his work back to cases such as Le Roy, Mackay, and Funk Bros. The language of those cases focus on “fundamental truths” and “hitherto unknown phenomenon of nature.” In Benson and Alice, the court also explained “Phenomena of nature, though just discovered, mental processes, and abstract intellectual concepts are not patentable, as they are the basic tools of scientific and technological work.”

For Judge Linn, a method of charging a bank-card at a bus-turnstile does not fit into those expansive definitions.

Judge Linn’s opinion recognizes that his concern directly stems from the Supreme Court’s approach in Alice and Mayo. He writes: “The problem with this test, however, is that it is indeterminate and often leads to arbitrary results.” His solution is that the two part test should not be “applied in a legal vacuum divorced from its genesis” and the three exceptions should be treated consistently. Patents should not be struck down simply because they “seemingly fail the Supreme Court’s test.” Rather, the focus should be on whether the patents “attempt to appropriate a basic building block of scientific or technological work.”

The solution for Judge Linn: Focus on the language of the claims and each limitation when determining whether a claim is directed to an abstract idea – “a basic building block of scientific or technological activity” or instead to a “tangible application” that serves a “new and useful end.”


Crouch is hoping to scandalise Alice like he does PTAB. Earlier this year it became ever more evident that Crouch is more like an activist (for trolls) than a scholar. He's no longer good at concealing it. Earlier today he published a guest post by Charles Duan of Public Knowledge. This, for a change, gave an illusion of balance, comparing patents to monopolies:

Are Patents Monopolies? It Depends on the Relevant Century



The question of whether patents are monopolies is one of ongoing debate. But an important aspect of that debate is the correct meaning of the word “monopoly.” A change in the word’s meaning over the last few centuries can explain at least some of the differing opinions on the question.

Today, the word “monopoly” refers to a concentration of economic market power in a single firm or entity. But up through the early 19th century, that was not the accepted definition. In that time period, a monopoly was a government grant of an exclusive right, more akin to a franchise or government contract.


As we showed earlier this year, Crouch keeps misleading the readers about what patents are. He uses the language of patent maximalists.

Recent Techrights' Posts

New USPTO Memo Makes Fighting Patent Trolls Even Harder
The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) just made a move that will protect bad patents at the expense of everyone else
An "EU OS" Would Need European Components
There are many European (or Europe-led) distros of GNU/Linux. EU OS developers ought to look at those.
 
Critics of IBM's Strategy Aren't Racists, But...
the situation is saddening as it serves to obscure the severity of the problem
Mauritania: Windows Falls to All-Time Low of 6% (It Used to be Over 99%)
Windows is 0% in mobile
Outline of Open Source Initiative Coverage to Come (Now That Consensus is Changing)
Policing Wikipedia and attacking critics is not a sustainable strategy
Gemini Links 23/03/2025: "Connor of the Cats" and CSS Naked Day
Links for the day
Links 22/03/2025: Science and Antoine Beaupré on "Losing the War for the Free Internet"
Links for the day
We Probably Served Close to 100 Million Gemini Requests
Many of these requests probably came from bots, but it's hard to distinguish (to block them) ... This coming summer Gemini Protocol will turn 6
Just Because Microsoft Resents Techrights Doesn't Mean SLAPPs Will Silence Techrights
To confront lies the best solution is to speak truth
Windows at New Low Levels in Madagascar (Population About 33 Million)
Madagascar does not need Microsoft
Slop Images Are Bad Optics, Including for Perl.org
Slop devalues one's genuine work
What Happened to the Open Source Initiative (OSI) Elections: Proprietary Software Companies in Control, the Scandals Cannot be Hidden Anymore
We'll talk about it later this month and next month
Slopwatch: Fake News About Security Using LLMs That Make Fake 'Articles' About "Linux" (With Slop for Images)
This cannot end well
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Saturday, March 22, 2025
IRC logs for Saturday, March 22, 2025
Gemini Links 22/03/2025: "Ukay Ukay", Microplastics in Tea, Jujutsu, and More
Links for the day
Links 22/03/2025: Johor Flooded, Ador Traps Young Musicians With Contract
Links for the day
[Video] Richard Stallman on What Patents Would Have Done to Music (Covered by Copyrights)
Our WebM version can be played using Free software, independently of the availability of Invidious mirrors
Our IRC Community Turns 17 Very Shortly
A few years from now our IRC community will turn 20
Microsoft Destroys and Exploits, It Does Not Create
A race to nowhere
Linux Foundation Buys Misleading Puff Pieces About Itself, Earns Some LLM Slop to Accompany the PR (Openwashing and Propaganda as a Service, With the Brand "Linux" Needlessly Borrowed)
Isn't it funny that after the "LF" (misusing the brand "Linux") flooded the Web with press releases and fake articles (that it had paid for) it now gets some LLM slop doing the same?
It's About So Much More Than 2 Microsofters, It's About Freedom to Speak About Crimes at Microsoft
Suffice to say, if some people related to our professional field attack women and get arrested for it, then there's nothing immoral about relaying this information
Links 22/03/2025: Social Security Attacks and More Attacks on the Press
Links for the day
Gemini Links 22/03/2025: INTERPOL, DDoS by "Hey Hi" Hype, and RSS/Feed Readers
Links for the day
Links 22/03/2025: Alzheimer Research and Mega-breaches in the US
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Friday, March 21, 2025
IRC logs for Friday, March 21, 2025
Gemini Links 21/03/2025: Leasehold, LOTI, and Project Managers
Links for the day
Links 21/03/2025: Energy Facilities Under Fire (or on Fire), EU "Solidarity with Ukraine" and First Console
Links for the day
Links 21/03/2025: "IBM cuts Thousands" and Outlook Outage Again (Microsoft Looks for Excuses)
Links for the day
Gemini Links 21/03/2025: "Happy Spring" and Leaving "The Enterprise"
Links for the day
Many Articles About Layoffs Are Still Fake, Still LLM Slop, Even About IBM Layoffs
No wonder tech and tech journalism are getting so much worse
Speak More About the GNU Manifesto (40 Years Old This Month), It Helps Remind People That GNU/Linux Was Started by Richard Stallman and the Ultimate Goal is Freedom
We generally encourage people to speak about Software Freedom
Slappification: Using More SLAPP to Cover Up SLAPP and Chaining SLAPPs (From Microsoft) in a Failed Bid to Censor Techrights
How low can a person with a law degree stoop?
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Thursday, March 20, 2025
IRC logs for Thursday, March 20, 2025
Hidden from coroners and the public: tech industry cultural contagion
Reprinted with permission from Daniel Pocock