Bonum Certa Men Certa

Private Eye Covers the EPO Scandals, Says EPO Hired 'British Snooping Firm Global Risk Consultants'

Private Eye



Summary: Popular British paper covers the EPO scandals and focuses on revelations from Techrights

FOR THOSE who are not British, Private Eye, to quote Wikipedia, "has been a prominent critic and lampooner of public figures and entities that it deems guilty of any of the sins of incompetence, inefficiency, corruption, pomposity or self-importance and it has established itself as a thorn in the side of the British establishment." It has a circulation of 228,264 people.



We were gratified to have found out that Private Eye, like Belgian TV for instance (also very mainstream, not some niche audience like a publication for technical readers or lawyers), decided to write about EPO abuses. It's not very often that we find articles about these abuses in English, partly because EPO is centered around Holland and Germany (where the languages are different and rarely understood by British journalists).

"I'm not sure if you've seen this," wrote a reader to us, "but Private Eye did a write up of the EPO showing favouritism to Microsoft in its latest issue."

"A bit of a surprising neutral tone from the Eye and the opening line says they "are to be offered preferential treatment". They already have been since April!"

Here is a camera copy of the article.

Patently Odious



We have manually put that into textual form, as follows:

Patently Odious



A HANDFUL of global firms are to be offered preferential treatment by the European Patent Office (EPO) in an effort to improve the "epirit de service" on offer, according to leaked documents reported in German media.

Several of the big technology players have filed complaints against the EPO due to a backlog of hundreds of delayed applications at the office. Microsoft alone has around 600 separate applications in the pipeline and is one of the companies listed to be fast-tracked in the new pilot scheme as the EPO tries to repair its reputation with major applicants.

The EPO is run by the European Patent Organisation, an entity separate to the EU that has a wider membership including Turkey and Switzerland as well as the EU countries. The UK has been a member since 1977. the other companies being offered VIP treatment include Canon, Siemens, Fujitsu, BASF, Bayer, Ericsson, Qualcomm and Philips. The leaked documents suggest that Samsung and Huawei could join them, with other large firms being added if the pilot is successful. Thus Europe's patent officers will be putting US or Far Eastern firms ahead of many European firms when dealing with patents.

Meanwhile, the EPO is in dispute with its own staff over various issues, including the hiring of British snooping firm Global Risk Consultants to investigate allegations of internal bullying and intimidation. There have been protests at the organisation's offices in Munich and The Hague.


We are not sure what they mean by "Global Risk Consultants", perhaps just another name for CRG or some kind of sub-division (or maybe an editorial error). It is described as a "British snooping firm", which isn't the description CRG publicly gives of itself, for obvious reasons. We wrote about CRG in some articles including the ones below.

Comments

Recent Techrights' Posts

After IBM's Shares Collapsed the CEO is Trying the "Quantum" Trick Again, Bolstered by a Demented Dictator in the White House
from what we can gather IBM's CEO is trying to get the US government to participate in the scam
SLAPP Censorship - Part 115 Out of 200: Spending the Next Decade Writing About SLAPPs and Trying to Fix the System
It's the same industry that got paid by corrupt EPO officials to try to cover up the corruption
 
Oracle's Collapse Has Nothing to do With Slop, It's About Its Debt Exploding by Almost 50% in Just 12 Months
How are people meant to trust the media?
SLAPP Censorship - Part 116 Out of 200: 5 Years of Multiparty Lawfare Against Techrights, Funded by Americans and Also by Third Parties (Including Microsoft Salaries)
The public and our government will be informed in full
Now... a Word From Our Sponsor
Powerade
Links 23/06/2026: Microsoft Studio Closures and Journalism Subjected to Further Cuts
Links for the day
Gemini Links 23/06/2026: Gardens, Basketball, Blocking Hyperscaler, and New Commodore Phone
Links for the day
Links 23/06/2026: Apple Price Hikes and Technical Debt in Slop
Links for the day
Greece Ought to Curb the Threat of Social Control Media
its national discourse seems to be run by an American company called Facebook
State of the GNU/Linux Desktop (and Laptop)
The time to advocate GNU/Linux is now
The 'XBox Narrative' Distracts From Destructive Cuts Across the Whole of Microsoft
Microsoft is preparing to lay off a likely record-breaking number of people [...] this isn't just an XBox problem
Microsoft's Stock Fell Nearly $200, But the Real Problems Are Just About to Begin
if they dump slop, what will they tell shareholders?
The Cyber Show on Starmer and Software Freedom
The Cyber Show's Andy has just explained why our departing national leader wasn't all bad
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Monday, June 22, 2026
IRC logs for Monday, June 22, 2026
Gemini Links 23/06/2026: Girlrotting, Homeworlds at BGA, Slop Ruins Sites
Links for the day
A Lifetime of Whistleblowing
Ellsberg did not have an easy life, but it was a rewarding life with a rich legacy focusing on justice
European Patent Office (EPO) Series: A Man With Many Missions...
Campinos – accompanied by Gilles Requena and Patrice Pellegrino
Links 22/06/2026: Ubisoft Co-founder Dies, Americans Have Turned Against Slop
Links for the day
Links 22/06/2026: "The Sycophancy Machine" and "Port 22 Open for 54 Days"
Links for the day
When People Who Make the Most Money Are the Best "Boot Lickers" (Sucking Up to Jeffrey Epstein's Circle and the Dictator)
Sucking up to rich people may pay off
The Aim is Not Fame
Reposted from schestowitz.com
"Internally Important, Externally Irrelevant": IBM in a Nutshell
Right now its debt spins out of control and its stock spirals down the drain
SLAPP Censorship - Part 114 Out of 200: Thousands of Long Articles to Come, Properly Covering the SLAPP Industry in the UK and Its Modus Operandi
"Stowell described SLAPPs as ‘a stain on our legal system’."
Finding a Way to Get Paid to Improve LibreJS
So now we have more people resurrecting LibreJS and improving it
Microsoft Can't Even Wait Until July, Shutdowns and Layoffs Already Happening
Mashable speak of "a grim picture for the state of Xbox."
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Sunday, June 21, 2026
IRC logs for Sunday, June 21, 2026
Gemini Links 22/06/2026: Appreciating Simple Things, Perfect Summer Evening, IRIX, Vim and so
Links for the day
Chad's Move to GNU/Linux or the Point of Exceeding 5% "Market Share"
experienced centuries of being colonised
Gemini Links 21/06/2026: Dating Oaks, Paying With Cash, and "More on Withered Technology"
Links for the day
GAFAM is Drowning in Debt, GAFAM is Clearly Not Sustainable Anymore (It Runs on Borrowed Money and Bailouts)
The war and surrender in Iran will deepen the debt; we'll see the GAFAM reports in late July
GAFAM Was Never an Ally to Europe
Only 1 in 10 Europeans see US as an ally — study [...] military providers in "tech" clothing cannot be trusted
GitHub, LinkedIn, and XBox Will Finish Like Skype (Sustainability Crisis)
Skype should become a verb. When Microsoft 'Skypes' something it means it basically shuts it down with some temporal excuse/s.
Drowning in Garbage: AUR Shows That Too Much Low-Quality Software (Including Slop) is Bad for Everybody
What happened in AUR had happened elsewhere before and will happen again in the future
Links 21/06/2026: EU on Patented (Monopolised) Crops, Microsoft Software "Narcs on You to Your Boss"
Links for the day
Microsoft at 50 Follows the General Trajectory of Skype
How many years does Microsoft have left before payroll becomes impossible?
A Year After a Microsofter Took Over The Register MS It is Effectively a Content Farm With News as a 'Side Dish'
This is not journalism, this is spam
IBM Pays the Media and Cons Some 'Journalists' Into Participating in "Quantum" Spam
"The Boy Who Cried Wolf"
You Don't Need an 'App' for Your Birdhouse (Slopfondlers Come for Birds)
That they sell those things as "AI" really says a lot about how dishonest slopfondlers really are
SLAPP Censorship - Part 113 Out of 200: The United Kingdom is Not Turkey
Turkey is ranked almost worst in the Western World for press freedom
Cybersecurity Does Not Mean Asking Microsoft for Permission to Boot
There were very good and timely reasons to speak about the matter, including impending antitrust complaints against Microsoft
Links 21/06/2026: Bots from Alibaba Do Harm and Many Xbox Games Are Being Cancelled
Links for the day
5 Years After Release of Vista 11 Not Even One in 5 People Use It (in the US)
It doesn't look like Vista 11 will ever be adopted like prior versions and announcing a Vista 12 will mostly upset companies/organisations that only recently "upgraded" to 11
Gemini Links 21/06/2026: Boca Raton, Perfect Summer Day, and LLM Doing Things Poorly
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Saturday, June 20, 2026
IRC logs for Saturday, June 20, 2026