Bonum Certa Men Certa

Private Eye Covers the EPO Scandals, Says EPO Hired 'British Snooping Firm Global Risk Consultants'

Private Eye



Summary: Popular British paper covers the EPO scandals and focuses on revelations from Techrights

FOR THOSE who are not British, Private Eye, to quote Wikipedia, "has been a prominent critic and lampooner of public figures and entities that it deems guilty of any of the sins of incompetence, inefficiency, corruption, pomposity or self-importance and it has established itself as a thorn in the side of the British establishment." It has a circulation of 228,264 people.



We were gratified to have found out that Private Eye, like Belgian TV for instance (also very mainstream, not some niche audience like a publication for technical readers or lawyers), decided to write about EPO abuses. It's not very often that we find articles about these abuses in English, partly because EPO is centered around Holland and Germany (where the languages are different and rarely understood by British journalists).

"I'm not sure if you've seen this," wrote a reader to us, "but Private Eye did a write up of the EPO showing favouritism to Microsoft in its latest issue."

"A bit of a surprising neutral tone from the Eye and the opening line says they "are to be offered preferential treatment". They already have been since April!"

Here is a camera copy of the article.

Patently Odious



We have manually put that into textual form, as follows:

Patently Odious



A HANDFUL of global firms are to be offered preferential treatment by the European Patent Office (EPO) in an effort to improve the "epirit de service" on offer, according to leaked documents reported in German media.

Several of the big technology players have filed complaints against the EPO due to a backlog of hundreds of delayed applications at the office. Microsoft alone has around 600 separate applications in the pipeline and is one of the companies listed to be fast-tracked in the new pilot scheme as the EPO tries to repair its reputation with major applicants.

The EPO is run by the European Patent Organisation, an entity separate to the EU that has a wider membership including Turkey and Switzerland as well as the EU countries. The UK has been a member since 1977. the other companies being offered VIP treatment include Canon, Siemens, Fujitsu, BASF, Bayer, Ericsson, Qualcomm and Philips. The leaked documents suggest that Samsung and Huawei could join them, with other large firms being added if the pilot is successful. Thus Europe's patent officers will be putting US or Far Eastern firms ahead of many European firms when dealing with patents.

Meanwhile, the EPO is in dispute with its own staff over various issues, including the hiring of British snooping firm Global Risk Consultants to investigate allegations of internal bullying and intimidation. There have been protests at the organisation's offices in Munich and The Hague.


We are not sure what they mean by "Global Risk Consultants", perhaps just another name for CRG or some kind of sub-division (or maybe an editorial error). It is described as a "British snooping firm", which isn't the description CRG publicly gives of itself, for obvious reasons. We wrote about CRG in some articles including the ones below. ⬆

Comments

Recent Techrights' Posts

libera.chat is an Agenda-Peddling Platform Run by Agenda-Peddling Individuals
The volunteers of libera.chat ("staff") aren't working for free, they work towards an agenda
Secret Microsoft Layoffs and Maybe Another "Voluntary Exit Program at Microsoft in October"
there's a morale crisis at Microsoft
Many Topics to Cover
Drops in a big ocean
Gemini Links 04/10/2026: Peace in Outage, Pen Pals, and deGoogling
Links for the day
 
Links 05/10/2026: "Congress Must Investigate War Profiteers Once Again" and Update on Thomson Reuters v. Ross Intelligence
Links for the day
Nobel Season is Plutocracy Week
Later this week the billionaires will give a fake "Nobel" (in "Economics") to someone who parrots their preferred narrative and those same billionaires will use "Nobel" to bless the promoter of their latest pyramid scheme/buzzword
GNU/Linux Market Share in North America 13% This Past Weekend
It is perhaps not shocking that adoption of GNU/Linux is very high there
When Did Europe Begin to Side With White-Collar Criminals (or Participate in Suppressing People Who Oppose Them)?
How much corruption can we tolerate before the European Union becomes another Russian Federation?
Libera Chat's "Level of Control Might Make Sense for a Corporate Platform"
IRC is not centralised
Brigading Against Women - Part XVIII - Turning Censorship Attempts (Articles About Matthew Garrett) Into Mild Redactions
What Lozza did two years ago
Greenland Needs Digital Sovereignty
the large icy island isn't moving to GNU/Linux as quickly as the rest of Europe
Tracker of Internet Relay Chat Networks Out of Service (But Not Down) Since Thursday
We should note that the number of unique networks they track has grown since we last checked
Gemini Links 05/10/2026: NixOS, Guix, Codeberg Banning Slop, and "Gopher Apps on Android"
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Sunday, October 04, 2026
IRC logs for Sunday, October 04, 2026
MIT Technology Review (MTR) Reinforces MIT's Role in Promoting Slop (Pyramid Scheme) in Exchange for Money
MIT is a poster boy (or child) of institutional corruption, perverts, and corporate takeover
Proving Wrong Those Slop Maximalists and Boosters, GAFAM Says Slop is a Nuisance and Bans/Hides the Slop Submissions
People who say slop in projects is inevitable or even desirable are usually cheaters with self-guilt
Links 04/10/2026: “AI Torture Chamber” and "Aggressive Push to Integrate Hey Hi (AI) Slop Into Schools Is Turning Into a Disaster"
Links for the day
How Microsoft Hides Massive Layoffs From the Media (as Explained by Microsofters)
"rewards" are not exactly rewarding
Brigading Against Women - Part XVII - The Appeal
more to be known towards the end of the year
Links 04/10/2026: Fires Rage in Borneo and Mass Layoffs at Disney
Links for the day
Garrett's Litigation Partner is Unemployed Again
losing one's job
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Saturday, October 03, 2026
IRC logs for Saturday, October 03, 2026
Teaser/Taster
Tomorrow morning we'll have an important story regarding "GGG"
Gemini Links 03/10/2026: Book Swaps and Book Crossing, Hidden Figures (2016), Apps and Tools for Research and Writing
Links for the day
Michael Catanzaro Seems to be Missing the Point
Calling people you disagree with "Ostriches" is lazy name-calling
Free Software Foundation (FSF) Turns 41
People who want humans and communities to maintain their software chains (and by extension their digital life) will back GNU
Links 03/10/2026: "Banned Books Week 2026" and "American Journalist Imprisoned as a Spy in Russia"
Links for the day
In Case Anybody Still Believes Microsoft Lunduke Cares About GNU/Linux...
GNU/Linux users aren't bots
Gemini Links 03/10/2026: Speculative Realism, Paper2SlopBot, Joplin, and Offline Experiment
Links for the day
Union Syndicale Fédérale (USF) Tries to Compel the European Patent Office (EPO) to Actually Function Properly
We'll be covering the EPO a lot more soon
Brigading Against Women - Part XVI - When Your Own Colleagues Complain About You Maybe the Problem is You
"if 2 people tell you that you're drunk, you go to sleep"
Links 03/10/2026: Slop-Generated War Songs and "Privatisation Has Failed"
Links for the day
Proprietary Software Giant Microsoft is Quietly Laying Off Lots of Employees, Insider Explains How It's Done
about Microsoft exits
United States: More Than One in Ten Using GNU/Linux on Laptop/Desktop
Clownflare Radar seems to show a similar trend
Brigading Against Women - Part XV - Trying to Put Women in Prisons
We'll soon get to the 'meat' or the 'beef', showing how "Gas The Jews" Lozza helped Garrett a few days after we had sued him in September 2024
A Leap in GNU/Linux Usage, Japan's Share in Particular
One thing that merits attention right now is Japan. It looks like it's adopting GNU/Linux instead of GAFAM.
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Friday, October 02, 2026
IRC logs for Friday, October 02, 2026