Bonum Certa Men Certa

Humour: What If OpenSUSE 10.3 Was Announced Jointly by Novell and Microsoft?

Sellout



Factual details about the new release will come on Saturday, but for amusement purposes only, here is an E-mail that I received (just... slightly... modified)

____________________________________________ The openSUSE team proudly announces the availability of openSUSE 10.3, to be renamed Enterprise Windows-compatible Linux in the next version.

We're shipping all the latest open source packages that are available after Mr. Ballmer has completed a quick inspection. As highlights, we'd like to point out the latest desktops, GNOME 2.20 and KDE 3.5.7 plus KDE 4 preview, our MP3 support with Microsoft's patent coverage (courtesy of Alcatel-Lucent) via gstreamer plug-in by Fluendo, a dual boot process (for Vista), heavily optimised and improved package management, 1-click install option for additional software (patent protection for this idea from Microsoft will last for another 4 years, but Amazon's one-click-shopping patent remains a threat), OpenOffice 2.3 (with OOXML support), XEN 3.1 and VirtualBox 1.5 (SUSE Linux-exclusive thanks to the interop lab and the joint efforts with our good friends from Redmond) and, last but not least, our 1 CD installation which provides a small but fully loaded Vista trial version. For all the news and impressive screenshots, have a look at http://news.opensuse.org/?p=400 and have a look at things to come at http://microsoft.com/products/vienna

It's available now to download at http://software.openSUSE.org, only as a x86 version (64-bit is impractical, according to our partners at Redmond and PPC is only used by rival companies) - from our mirrors and via bittorrent.

The following ISOs can be downloaded: the 1 CD open source version with an add-on CD containing proprietary software, such as WGA, Windows Media Player, XPS reader, HD viewer, Silverlight Limited Edition, RealNetworks RealPlayer, .NET clone called Mono, and Sun Java Runtime Environment. DVD ISOs for all architectures are available and contain the open source version plus proprietary add-ons. An installable Live CD will be released in October, and the Edu add-on CD [http://en.opensuse.org/Education] will show up in the same time frame. However, thanks to our recently-commissioned studies, we are told that children prefer Windows.

As usual, openSUSE 10.3 will be available in European retail channels as a boxed product. The Register reports that the price in Britain exceeds 3,000 pounds (true story). In North America, the box will be available through shopNovell [http://shop.novell.com]. Due to production lead times and disruption due to the layoffs that Novell is expecting in October 2007 boxes will start to show up on shelves and in online shops approximately on Oct 11th. Pre-orders can be placed here: http://en.opensuse.org/Buy_openSUSE

We'd like to take this opportunity to thank Microsoft and the whole openSUSE community for tons of protection, coupons, attacking rival Linux distribution with FUD, testing, feedback, contributions and over all participation in helping to make openSUSE 10.3 an awesome distribution. While risking missing out some important contributors, we'd like to spotlight some community members (some of whom are paid) for their outstanding work:

- Ballmer for Producing FUD against rival Linuxes - Hilf for relentless 'patent terrorism' - Francis for Sneak Peeks [http://news.opensuse.org/?cat=17] - Beineri for his Quickies [http://news.opensuse.org/?cat=12] - Benji for the 1-click install [http://news.opensuse.org/?p=133] - Pascal and sPIN for community help [http://help.opensuse.org/] - All the community translators - http://en.opensuse.org/OpenSUSE_Localization_Teams Our top 3 bug reporters for openSUSE 10.3 - Andreas Hanke - David Binderman - Casual J. Programmer

Have a lot of fun!

Christoph, Coolo, Michael ____________________________________________

Yes, it's a joke, as was stated above.

Comments

Recent Techrights' Posts

Backlash and Negative Press After Microsoft Tells Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) People to DIE
Follow-up stories
Censorship as Signal of Opportunity for Reform
It remains sad and ironic that Wikileaks outsourced so much of its official communications to Twitter (now X)
The World Wide Web Has Been Rotting for Years (Quality, Accuracy, and Depth Consistently Decreasing)
In the past people said that the Web had both "good" and "bad" and that the good outweighed the bad
Comoros: Windows Plunges to Record Low of About 6% in Country of a Million People (in 2010 Windows Was 100%)
Many of these people earn a few dollars a day; they don't care for Microsoft's "Hey Hi PC" hype
The Mail (MX) Server Survey for July 2024 Shows Microsoft Collapsing to Only 689 Servers or 0.17% of the Whole (It Used to be About 25%)
Microsoft became so insignificant and the most astounding thing is how the media deliberate ignores it or refuses to cover it
Windows Down From 98.5% to 22.9% in Hungary
Android is up because more people buy smaller mobile devices than laptops
Microsoft Windows in Algeria: From 100% to Less Than 15%
Notice that not too long ago Windows was measured at 100%. Now? Not even 15%.
Microsoft Windows "Market Share" in New Zealand Plunges to 25%
Android rising
SUSE Goes Aryan: You May Not Use the Germanic Brand Anymore (It's Monopolised by the Corporation)
Worse than grammar Nazis
Gratis But Not Free as in Freedom: How Let's Encrypt is Dying in Geminispace
Let's Encrypt is somewhat of a dying breed where the misguided CA model is shunned
 
UEFI 'Secure Boot' Once Again Bricking PCs and Fake Security Models Are Perishing in Geminispace
Let's Encrypt has just fallen again
Links 17/07/2024: New Attacks on the Press, European Patents Squashed Even at Kangaroo Court (UPC)
Links for the day
Gemini Links 17/07/2024: Proponents of Censorship and New Arrivals at Gemini
Links for the day
Links 17/07/2024: School Budget Meltdown and Modern Cars as Tracking Nightmares
Links for the day
This Should Certainly be Illegal, But the Person Who Helped Microsoft Do This is Still Attacking the Critics of It
perhaps time for an "I told you so post"
[Meme] A Computer With an Extra Key on the Keyboard Isn't Everyone's Priority
(so your telling me meme)
Africa as an Important Reminder That Eradicating Microsoft Doesn't Go Far Enough
Ideally, if our top goal is bigger than "get rid of Microsoft", we need to teach people to choose and use devices that obey them, not GAFAM
Billions of Computers Run Linux and Many Use Debian (or a Derivative of It)
many devices never get updated or even communicate with the Net, so exhaustive tallies are infeasible
[Meme] Microsoft is Firing
Don't worry, Microsoft will have some new vapourware coming soon
More DEI (or Similar) Layoffs on the Way, According to Microsoft Team Leader
What happened shortly before Independence Day wasn't the end of it, apparently
[Meme] Many Volunteers Now Realise the "Open" in "OpenSUSE" or "openSUSE" Was Labour-Mining
Back to coding, packaging and testing, slaves
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Tuesday, July 16, 2024
IRC logs for Tuesday, July 16, 2024
[Meme] Ein Factory
A choice between "masters" (or "master race") is a false choice that results in mass exploitation and ultimately eradication (when there's little left to exploit)
Links 17/07/2024: Open Source Initiative Lies and Dark Net Thoughts
Links for the day
Media Distorting Truth to Promote Ignorance
online media is rapidly collapsing
Android Rises to New Highs of Almost 80% in Cameroon
How many dozens of nations will see Windows at under 10% this coming winter?
Links 16/07/2024: TikTok Ban in Europe and Yandex Split
Links for the day
Gemini Links 16/07/2024: On Packrafting and on Trump Shot
Links for the day
[Meme] Firefox Users Who Think They Know Better Than Mozilla
Enjoy Firebook
Firefox Used to Have About Half the Market in Switzerland, But It Doesn't Stand a Chance Anymore (Chrome Surging This Summer)
Mozilla has managed to alienate some of the biggest fans of Firefox
Microsoft's Biggest Losses Are in Europe This Summer
Microsoft's ability to milk a relatively rich Europe is fast diminishing
How to Make Software Suck and Discriminate Against People at the Same Time
ageism glorified
Bing Was at 2.6% in Russia When LLM Hype Started. Now It's Down to 0.8% (for 3 Months in a Row Already)
The sharp fall of Bing may mean that exiting the Russian market won't matter to anybody
[Meme] Microsoft Seems to be Failing to Comply With WARN Act (by Refusing to Announce Mass Layoffs as They Happen)
since when does Microsoft obey the law anyway?
Microsoft Layoffs Are Still Too Frequent to Keep Abreast of and Properly (or Exhaustively) Classify
The "HR" department knows what's happening, but whistleblowers from there are rare
Bahamas Joined the "5% Windows" Club
statCounter only traces back about 1 in 20 Web requests to Windows
Links 16/07/2024: Salesforce Layoffs and Microsoft's DMARC Fail
Links for the day
Antenna Abuse and Gemini Abuse (Self-hosting Perils)
Perhaps all this junk is a sign of Gemini growing up
Possibly Worse Than Bribes: US Politicians and Lawmakers Who Are Microsoft Shareholders
They will keep bailing out Microsoft to bail themselves out
The Software Freedom Conservancy Folks Don't Even Believe in Free Speech and They Act As Imposters (Also in the Trademark Arena/Sense)
Software Freedom Conservancy was already establishing a reputation for itself as a G(I)AFAM censor/gatekeeper
Djibouti Enters the Windows "10% Club" (Windows Was 99% in 2010)
In Africa in general Microsoft lost control
GNU/Linux Share Doubled in the United States of America (USA) in the Past 12 Months
Or so says statCounter
Even in North Korea (Democratic People's Republic Of Korea) Google Said to Dominate, Microsoft Around 1%
Google at 93.26%
[Meme] The Red Bait (Embrace... Extinguish)
They set centos on fire, then offer a (de facto) proprietary substitute for a fee
Shooting the Messenger to Spite the Message
segment of a Noam Chomsky talk
[Video] Boston Area Assange Defense (Yesterday)
It was published only hours ago
Guinea: Windows Down From 99.3% to 2.7% 'Market Share'
Guinea is not a small country
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Monday, July 15, 2024
IRC logs for Monday, July 15, 2024
What's Meant by "Antenna Abuse" (Gemini)
syndication is not a monopoly in Gemini and if one doesn't condone political censorship, then one can create one's own syndication service/capsule
Microsoft Layoffs and Entire Unit Termination: Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion
What an announcement to make just before Independence Day
Links 16/07/2024: Old Computer Challenge and One Page Dungeon Contest
Links for the day
Microsoft Falls Further and Closer Towards 10% (Windows "Market Share") in Kuwait
more countries entering the "single-digit Windows" (under 10%) club
Gemini Links 15/07/2024: Antenna's Pro-Hamas Bias Revisited and Old Computer Challenge
Links for the day
[Video] Julian Assange, Over One Decade Ago, Cautioning About What the Internet Had Truly Become
video is not new
Homage to Malta
Malta is probably easy for Microsoft to bribe
IRC at 16
Logging has been used for us and against us
In Malta, Android/Linux Has Overtaken Microsoft Windows (According to statCounter)
statCounter milestone?
Links 15/07/2024: China’s Economic Problems, Boeing Under Fire
Links for the day
500 Days' Uptime Very Soon
Good luck doing that with Windows...
Windows Falls Below 20% in Tunisia
A month ago we wrote about GNU/Linux in Tunisia
Links 15/07/2024: Google Wants Wiz and Why "Sports Ruin Everything"
Links for the day
Gemini Links 15/07/2024: Old Computer Challenge and Sending Files via NNCP
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Sunday, July 14, 2024
IRC logs for Sunday, July 14, 2024