Bonum Certa Men Certa

With Obedient Dolls Like Gartner and the BSA, Who Needs Enemies?

"Analysts sell out - that’s their business model... But they are very concerned that they never look like they are selling out, so that makes them very prickly to work with."

--Microsoft, internal document



This is certainly not a rant, but merely a comical reminder of who the BSA and Gartner Group really are, as well as whom they serve. To be truthful, it's just business as usual for them. And nevertheless, it's good to find some timely validation from other sources. It lends to credibility.



Those who follow the link digests closely enough probably will have noticed the new article from India about so-called 'piracy' (a propaganda term), whose decline is partly caused by quiet and gradual migrations to Free software.

“It's a pay-for-praise pool of people in suits.”With the exception of the brainwash-loaded headline it's quite a good article because, unlike many others of its kind, it does bother to show that the BSA and its affiliates are not the only game in town. The BSA ambitiously escapes its worst nightmare (and the nightmare of its funding corporations of course). It's free software. It makes them all obsolete. We summarised the escapades of the BSA and Microsoft in the following long post, which serves as decent background (or so we hope). The artificial inflation of figures by criminologists at the BSA gives Microsoft ammunition that changes laws and earns the company sympathy it does not deserve -- always neglecting the ingredient that is alternative products and the effect on copyrights infringement on adoption and widespread vendor lock-in.

Another good exposition comes from Cringely, who speaks about the Gartner Group and the likes of it. We last addressed this serious issue about a month ago. Nothing has changed. It was a couple of months ago that Matt Asay sarcastically said that if you want something good to be said about your company, all you need to do is hire an analyst. That's just how these businesses operate. It's a pay-for-praise pool of people in suits. Information Week too has published an article that questions the integrity of analyst and it put special focus on Gartner, which is fairly large.

Anyone who takes these analysts seriously ought to just take a look at the track record of their predictions. Further, here is Cringely's new take.

I have this notion to write a series of columns from time to time under the title "Reality Check" -- columns intended to explain how the world of Information Technology actually functions. Because like any other entrenched, complex, and often closeted industry, things in IT don't really work the way many people think they do. I'm guessing the Vatican is a bit like that, too. So I'll be looking at various IT players and their roles and trying to put them into perspective, much as I did recently with a column or two about the role of computer consultants. This week the topic is Gartner Inc., or rather all the Gartner-like operations that give advice about technology to America's largest businesses: what do these guys actually DO?

Not much of real value I'm afraid -- at least of value in my view.

[...]

Into this knowledge vacuum come the vendors, who want to sell stuff, and the consultants like Gartner, Forrester, IDC, and the Yankee Group, who need IT managers to feel uncertain about every decision except the decision to buy something, anything. Then look at the number of "research reports" that are commissioned by vendors. Uh-oh.

The five P's of IT are Pride, Prejudice, Politics, Price, and Performance, with the last two being by far the least important. Consultants like Gartner are very useful for minding the pride and politics, their real function being to provide $2 billion worth of IT management CYA per year.


We will surely return to discussing analysts and consultants in the future. Many of them just happen to be some of the world's most respected shills. Alas, we are supposed to look at them with awe and reverence. Corporations teach us to listen to them. Well, wouldn't that be expected from those whom they serve? Self-serving impositions and all?

Recent Techrights' Posts

Microsoft May Already Be Shutting Down More Gaming Studios
the writings are on the wall: XBox is in disarray.
 
Gemini Links 16/06/2026: Nazi Law of Mental Abuse and Lewis Aburrow's 3D-Printed Slider
Links for the day
Links 16/06/2026: Windows TCO and Fedora Finding Serious 20-Year-Old Holes in Microsoft Outlook
Links for the day
European Patent Office (EPO) Series: An Advisor to the President
he had recently advanced to membership of the "inner circle" of Team Campinos.
Two Weeks Ahead of July Three Studios Microsoft Plans to Shut Down Already Named
This is what happens when companies try to establish themselves on a mountain of promises and false assumptions, kicking the can down the road until payroll becomes hard to complete
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Monday, June 15, 2026
IRC logs for Monday, June 15, 2026
IBM Works for Microsoft
Hours ago in IBM.com
European Patent Office (EPO) Series: The EPO's Brussels Liaison Officer
It would appear that in January 2020, Pellegrino was induced by Campinos to jump ship from the EUIPO and take up his current position as Brussels Liaison Officer for the EPO
European Patent Office (EPO) Receiving Section (RS) and Elimination of Many Roles
Open letter to Mr Rowan (VP1) and Mr Aledo Lopez (COO) [...] Does the EU leadership intend to tolerate this?
Microsoft's XBox is Disintegrating, Executives Are Quitting
We're basically witnessing the slow-motion "end of XBox"
Gemini Links 15/06/2026: Slop Code Benchmarked, Wireguard on NixOS and Guix
Links for the day
Links 15/06/2026: More Own Goals for the Slop Industry, Palantir Trouble in UK
Links for the day
Apple Wants Everybody to Forget About "Vision Pro" Because It Was a Giant Flop
worthless gadgets with no obvious use case/s
The Cyber Show is Adopting 'Book Form' (or Long Form Publications)
Andy and Helen nowadays invest more time in making their site faster
Richard Stallman's Software Freedom/Digital Sovereignty Tour in Europe
As things stand at present, the vast majority of people have their interactions controlled/policed by GAFAM
Estimates of Scale of Microsoft Layoffs, Will Likely Happen "in Batches"
"Heard 10 to 15 percent eventually but idk date."
IBM Has Put Red Hat on a Poor Diet of Slop, Now Fedora and Red Hat Suffocate or Choke on It
Over the weekend we saw more people leaving the company
Estimates of Microsoft Layoffs: 3,000 Staff to be Culled Just in Gaming, How Many in Other Divisions?
Now the XBox division has its own "fall guy", but it is a woman
Straw Man Arguments Against Rust
If anything, it teaches the importance of auditing packages
Tesla Debt Rose Sharply, Sales Declined, Wall Street's Claim of Tesla "Value" is Merely a Fairytale (and Not Just Tesla)
We would gladly sell land on Mars to anyone who honestly believes a company that loses money is somehow "worth" trillions in Wall Street
Stop Calling Losses "Investment"
XBox is losing money, it is a sinkhole
For Justice We Need More Speech, Not Less Speech
When you attack something you are just giving that something a bigger platform
SLAPP Censorship - Part 107 Out of 200: Keeping Law Accessible to Everybody
We'll have stories related to this in the future
Links 15/06/2026: Slop "Beg Bounties", Wall Street Fakes 'Worth', and Arkansans Saved PBS
Links for the day
Gemini Links 15/06/2026: Dating Oaks, Simulation, and Theremin
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Sunday, June 14, 2026
IRC logs for Sunday, June 14, 2026
Links 14/06/2026: Energy Cost and Reality Strikes at Heart of Slop Bubble, 75 Data Center Build-outs "Successfully Blocked"
Links for the day
Microsoft CEO Says XBox is Not a Sustainable Business
"Now, we have to turn this into a sustainable business," he said about XBox
MElon (MUSK, Elon) is a Trillionaire Like Penguins Are Mammals
Have media outlets told the truth?
Unlikely Heroes
One personal hero who is not alive (anymore) is Navalny
Bruce Schneier Was Probably Wrong About Slop
Right now politicians who openly speak in favour of slop are committing "political suicide"
SLAPP Censorship - Part 106 Out of 200: 100 Kilograms of Legal Papers
When one party's communications and filings weigh at about 3 KG of paper and another's... at about 100 KG of paper
Links 14/06/2026: More Google Layoffs, Wall Street Deems Companies That Lose Money "Worth" Trillions
Links for the day
Gemini Links 14/06/2026: "The Universe is a Hologram", "Matrix Brain Download", and "Happy 0th Year"
Links for the day
European Patent Office (EPO) Series: Battistelli's "Baltic Crusader"
Gilles Requena, Battistelli's erstwhile "Baltic Crusader" and the loyal servant of his successor Campinos
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Saturday, June 13, 2026
IRC logs for Saturday, June 13, 2026