Bonum Certa Men Certa

The UPC is Dead. But Bristows is Now Fully Engaged in Necrophilia.

UPC boat sinks



Summary: In an effort to float a dead project the deceiving folks from Team UPC pretend that everything is ready to go (commence) because they've managed to find some gowns and robes

THE Unitary Patent lobby has been a rather embarrassing exercise, highly corrosive to the reputation of the EU and the European Patent Office (EPO). With UPC in the middle, for instance, there was nepotism and cross pollination between the EPO and EUIPO, an EU agency. It even looks like outright corruption.



"With UPC in the middle, for instance, there was nepotism and cross pollination between the EPO and EUIPO, an EU agency. It even looks like outright corruption."The news sites that focus on patents, copyrights and trademarks have more lately been speaking of a mistaken trademark grant by EUIPO. That's still in the news (belatedly revoked, harming McDonalds) and IP Watch speaks of "Sudden Vacancies At Some International Agencies, Industry Sees New Top Officials, Lawyers Engage In Firm-Hopping" (Catherine Saez says that "[t]he European Patent Office got two new vice-chairs," but neglects to point out the glaring problem).

If that's not bad enough, a day or two after that Bristows nonsense about UPC they're now verging on legal necrophilia. Responding to the article and its promotion in Twitter, one EPO watcher then wrote [1, 2]:

Here it is, your expected spin from Team UPC, looking to profit from more litigation...! It did not take long, did it? UPC dressed up? Uhmm no, it's still naked! #patents #EuropeanUnion


And:

Meme published by http://Techrights.org ! Well done Techrights, since it perfectly illustrates the behaviour of Team UPC. A fantasy world based on their own agendas'. Lies, Lies and more Lies


So for the second time in a week Bristows pulls this horrifying stunt; they are giving lawyers a really bad reputation -- the sort of odor that makes one forget about lawyers who protect the innocent and instead focus on those who lie, mislead and manipulate for a living. They're giving a really bad name for a profession otherwise associated with protecting the wrongly-accused, the innocent, from false charges/allegations, sometimes pro bono, like the kind lawyer who protected me from the EPO's SLAPPing (they threatened to sue me several times for publishing true information).

"The UPC is basically a dead project. Even its biggest proponents (paid for it!) have given up. But not Bristows. These people have always lied the most. They wish to drown with this Titanic."Bristows' liars say that the FCC decision is "expected to happen quite soon." Citation needed, however none was provided. Team UPC's propaganda knows no bounds. They lie every week. They're even censoring comments that refute them, e.g. in IP Kat and the above blog ("Kluwer Patent blogger" now turns out to be "Alan Johnson, Bristows"). Well, no comments have appeared (by now; for almost 1.5 days). It starts as follows: "In answering this question we must look at two major factors. The first is the decision of the German Federal Constitutional Court (Bundesverfassungsgeright – BVerfG) on the constitutional challenge by Dr Stjerna to the legislation necessary to allow German ratification of the UPC. The second is Brexit. Both are expected to happen quite soon."

Really? based on what? The final words of the article say this: "Hopefully even if we do not see the start of the UPC in 2019, we shall at least know by then whether next year will actually see the UPC, or whether this is a case of being all dressed up with no place to go."

They perpetuate that same old lie that the only remaining question is whether UPC can "start [...] in 2019" (it won't because it's dead, irrespective of timing). That's just a malicious lobbying/influencing tactic from the litigation 'industry' and speaking of which, REGIMBEAU's Cécile Puech, Frédérique Durieux, Soizic Guindeul and Aurélia Vavasseur have just commented on PPH (Patent Prosecution Highway), which is somewhat of a mockery of the patent system because it eliminates neutrality to aid bullies and trolls. They use terms like "simplify the task" -- similar to what one might expect from UPC litigation against a lot of companies in a lot of countries, including companies that only operate in a single country outside the court's jurisdiction.

The UPC is basically a dead project. Even its biggest proponents (paid for it!) have given up. But not Bristows. These people have always lied the most. They wish to drown with this Titanic.

Recent Techrights' Posts

SLAPP Censorship - Part 168 Out of 200: When Choosing Clients Recklessly and Poorly Self-Harm is Inevitable
"If you're doing something hard and nobody hates it, you probably aren't doing it. If the right people hate it and those people happen to be some of the worst people alive, so much the better."
 
FSF Staff Uses 'CoC' to Stop Conversation About Autistici/Inventati in Relation to Free Software
The list is already heavily moderated
IBM Allegedly Stopped Hiring (This Tends to Coincide With Mass Layoffs)
Is a hiring freeze an echo of layoffs? Yes, definitely.
Something Big is Happening at IBM This Week/Month
Some people at IBM (and Red Hat) are panicking
Gemini Links 01/09/2026: Biscuits, Epstein Files, Power Users, and Alhena 5.6.8
Links for the day
Links 01/09/2026: Almost 5,000 Missing/Dead in Nepal-China Flood and Marijuana Factory Explodes
Links for the day
September at IBM: Silent Layoffs on Day 1
PIPocalypse at IBM
Last Month IRC Entered Its 39th Year and It's Still Growing (New IRC Networks)
There are 511+ known IRC networks
Links 01/09/2026: Climate, Disinformation, Microsoft Overworking People
Links for the day
Richard Stallman's Site Still Offline (Third Day), But Richard Stallman is Active Online
he is busy online despite his site not being accessible so far this week
PIP Layoffs at Microsoft, Even in India
Microsoft is trying to hide the true scale of the layoffs
Layoff Trackers Are a Sham, They're Like US 'Unemployment Data'
Layoff trackers are similarly misleading as they only measure what companies openly admit and register with WARN notices
The Peculiar Case of OSNews, Which Experiments With Slopfarming
It wasn't published in error. It has been there for two months.
Russian Federation is Removing Windows From Computers
Windows is going "out of fashion"
XBox CEO Has No Clue What She is Selling
Some people believe Microsoft will parcel and offload the whole "gaming" unit to some other companies
analognowhere.com and xkcd.com Selling Physical Copies of Webcomics
That's one way to support their work
PIP/GVSA at Microsoft: Mass Layoffs Disguised as Something Else
Microsoft is trying to cheapen the workforce because the numbers don't add up
Microsoft Lunduke Uses Twitter ("X") Because It's Algorithmically Designed to Boost His Worldview/s, He Ignores What "X" Is
Maybe all those people really deserve one another
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Monday, August 31, 2026
IRC logs for Monday, August 31, 2026
Censorship by Threats
It should be noted that the Web site of Richard Stallman will soon enter its third day of downtime
In Romania, GNU/Linux Reaches 6%, According to Clownflare
Tomorrow we'll see the latest data from statCounter (for September)
Gemini Links 01/09/2026: Denali Park Train Trip, Crafts, and Community-Building in smol.pub
Links for the day
Microsoft Workers Doing 80 Hours a Week After Microsoft Culled Their Colleagues
there are days when they work 17 hours a day (barely any time left to sleep and eat) and work starts at 5AM
IBM Defrauds Shareholders With Fake News (Bribed Press) About "Quantum"
That says a lot about the state of "Tech Giants" and also the utterly shameless state of the media
Record Highs for GNU/Linux, Especially in the United States of America
the "market share" of GNU/Linux is about 9%, still about a third of what Vista 11 stands at
PIPocalypse at IBM
Silent layoffs
Spending Over a Million Bucks on Lawsuits Abroad When There's a Big Mortgage to Pay in America
Priorities, priorities...
Gemini Links 31/08/2026: Announcing ROOPHLOCH 2026, smol.pub Discussion, and LLM Plagiarism Engines Target Geminispace
Links for the day
Richard Stallman's GNU Turns 43 in 4 Weeks, FSF Growing
In a few weeks GNU turns 43
IBM's Cuts Are Worsening Security in GNU/Linux
IBM is still run by the same idiot who proposed taking over Red Hat
Microsoft: Work Weekends Too
Microsoft literally working its workers to death
Links 31/08/2026: Anthropic Sued Again for Copyright Infringement of Massive Scale, 'Tokenmaxxing' Shows Slop is a Worthless Liability
Links for the day
Links 31/08/2026: "Teslas Are Still Driving Into Oncoming Freight Trains" and "LLM Moats Quickly Evaporating"
Links for the day
Stallman Has Explained Slop is "Marketing Hype Campaign" and Torvalds Agreed. The Difference is the Bribes.
So be like Stallman
Debian Project Discards About 25% of the Votes on LLM Slop, Microsoft Votes in the General Resolution (GR)
"[t]he rules of the vote saw community members asked to rank each of the eight proposals. Just under 600 people voted, but Debian’s election team rejected many for unspecified reasons, leaving almost 450 valid votes to count."
Essentiality of Rest and Killing Oneself for Vicious Companies
Working for Microsoft is foolish
In the UK, Bing (Microsoft) Down to Lowest Level Since January
our tax money being passed to Microsoft via MoUs (back door deals with kickbacks)
SLAPP Censorship - Part 167 Out of 200: The Court of Appeal Might be the Next Step
Today is our last vacation day
German Government Sponsors IBM Because of GNU/Linux
Flatpak is sponsored by, run, and controlled by IBM
Richard Stallman Speaks to Christine Hall of FOSS Force, stallman.org is Down for Over a Day
interview does a good job addressing the hype about LLMs too
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Sunday, August 30, 2026
IRC logs for Sunday, August 30, 2026
Gemini Links 31/08/2026: Holidays, Stream of Consciousness, and Posting Online
Links for the day
Anniversaries Next Month
The month should be otherwise quiet and uneventful for us
Coding is Not Obsolete
we drown ourselves in chaff to meet "LOC" objectives while ignoring everything else
Microsoft Layoffs Perpetual But Silent, People Pushed Out Using Pressure or Incentive Schemes
Earlier this month we named some of the programs
Links 30/08/2026: Apple Rant and LLM (Slop) Scrapers Target Gemini Protocol and Gopher
Links for the day
Salaries Are Counted in Money, Not in Participation in the Employer's Scheme
articles greatly exaggerating GAFAM salaries
Walls in Free Software
mind your own business and move on
Even Linux Cannot Cope With Slop
Bots on the Web are truly obnoxious
What a Summer!
Tomorrow is the last day of this month
Links 30/08/2026: Soldiers in Niger Attack Presidential Palace and Airport, Nepali City Struggles to Handle the Many Dead Bodies
Links for the day
Clownflare Sees GNU/Linux Rising to 11% This Past Week
Is it the year of "Linux in China"?
Links 30/08/2026: Russian Strike on a Ukrainian Warehouse and Rhetoric Escalations
Links for the day
Gemini Links 30/08/2026: Photography, Paper Books, Linux Kernel and the Debian Projects Permitting Slop Plagiarism
Links for the day
Imagine a World Where Nobody Fights for Software (and Computing) Freedom
The community keeps fighting back, so some of these ambitions are delayed or watered down
FSF Has Grown (More Staff) After a Year of Financial Growth
On October 4 the FSF turns 41
GNU/Linux Has Become More Mainstream in the United Kingdom
It's a long weekend here and we guess some people dabble in GNU/Linux migrations, at least at home
SLAPP Censorship - Part 166 Out of 200: Garrett Wasn't Found Innocent Per Se, the Court Wanted More Evidence of Who Was Behind Particular Accounts Using Tor
It's complicated
Criminals Don't Obey Laws, California Does Not Enhance Online Safety
It has been a while since we last mentioned so-called 'age-verification' laws
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Saturday, August 29, 2026
IRC logs for Saturday, August 29, 2026