Bonum Certa Men Certa

The EPO 'Results' Are Bunk

Pseudoscience reigns supreme in Battistelli's EPO

Lord Monckton



Summary: The EPO's so-called 'results' get thoroughly debunked in an academic fashion (numerous independent analyses), leaving the EPO's marketing department in a growing state of crisis and Battistelli incapable (or less capable) of convincing the Administrative Council (AC) that his iron-fisted, abuses-ridden regime ultimately paid off

A PATENT attorney, writing a blog post with some graphs he had produced, showed that the EPO was most likely "inventing" its so-called 'results' and figures. Soon thereafter, quite magically in fact, WIPO revisited its figures. How bizarre.



Well, based on some other research, from which figures have been produced, the EPO is lying to everyone about so-called 'results' in an effort to justify its many abuses. The thugs who (at least now) run the Office habitually like to paint it all as a compromise, or a toll taken due to a necessary 'reform'.

Nonsense.

"The EPO has been telling all who will listen in recent years that its processing of applications is getting ever more efficient," wrote IP Kat's Merpel earlier today, "while quality is also improving. Given that quality is somewhat intangible and that the perception of different users on what constitutes quality can differ so much let’s leave that aside. Surely the efficiency claims can be verified beyond doubt?

"The thugs who (at least now) run the Office habitually like to paint it all as a compromise, or a toll taken due to a necessary 'reform'.""Alas, the hard data and analysis has been somewhat sparse, leaving Merpel and the world at large in the position of having to rely on the EPO’s figures and claims with little opportunity to put these to the test.

"Until now…

"A valued reader who goes by the nom de plume of Archibald Calculus has been doing some number crunching. He has taken raw data of various types from the EPO, tabulated it, graphed it, and tortured it mercilessly until it gave up its essential truths.

"Over the next few posts, Merpel will be passing on to her readers the results of Archibald’s invaluable analysis. Are pendency times improving measurably? Does an independent analysis back up the claims of efficiency made to the AC?"

This very long post, which contains many graphs, shows that the EPO's claims are most likely false. We have been hearing this for quite some time from numerous sources inside the EPO, but now there are more data points to prove it.

“Does an independent analysis back up the claims of efficiency made to the AC?”
      --Merpel
To quote just one bit, the EPO's "practice of occasionally presenting median values for prosecution times, whether deliberate or not, hides this situation."

On misleading statistics: "Information from the EPO on the duration of the procedure is rather piecemeal and seems confused as to what is being measured: mean, median, or proportion of files respecting some absolute criteria."

Another bit says: "Despite the reassuring statements put out by almost all EPO Presidents in the last fifteen years including the present one, the delay to grant for European patents has worsened almost continually ever since the Office was founded."

They are torturing statistics basically. Coming from PR people with massive outside help (lying to journalists and even to staff), this oughtn't be so shocking. The only remaining question is, how long before yet another source shows (again) that the EPO's 'results' are bunk, or simply propaganda?

Battistelli -- like Lord Monckton (photographed above) -- has no background in science, so it's hardly surprising that he gleefully spits on science in an effort to advance his reckless agenda. How do the many scientists which the EPO employs feel about it? That's like putting a person who denies human role in climate change in charge of NASA or CERN.

Recent Techrights' Posts

Jim Zemlin's 'Linux' Foundation is the Real Link Between Linux and Pedophilia
It's about the deeds, not the words
Greenland Needs to Disconnect From United States Tech to Protect Its Independence
The more Greenland protects itself from Social Control Media, the more robust or resilient it'll be to regime change
Solicitors Regulation Authority (SRA) on Slop and Breach of Confidentiality
They should absolutely not ignore this
Almost 5,000 Known Gemini Capsules
It is now just 98 short of 5k
 
Like a Mafia: Kris De Neef and Nellie Simon, Who Help Campinos Cover Up Cocainegate at the EPO (Substance Abuse at the Highest Office), Are Bullying EPO Whistleblowers
They're all in this together [...] At this point, undoubtedly, the EPO is run like an organised crime operation. Nothing more, nothing less.
pulltheplug.uk Says the Internet Harms Us, Will March in London Tomorrow
Maybe the site is down due to high access demand
EPO Management Trying to Hide Cocainegate, Silence/Discredit Whistleblowers, and Probably in a Panic Due to the Strikes
At the moment, Johannes' mates are receiving over 100,000 euros as a reward for doing illegal drugs
The GNU Manifesto Turns 41 in March (Next Week)
And RMS turns 73 next month
The Sister Site is Still Improving the Static Site Generator (SSG) We Use in Techrights
We have a common mission and every week we make measurable advancements
Techrights is 100% Disconnected From Cheeto's America, the Problem is Hired Guns in London Helping Violent Americans Attack Us Domestically
Not a new problem, not limited to us
Open Source Endowment (OSE) Looking to Raise Money for Free Software, But It's Hard to Know who Runs the Open Source Endowment Foundation
Their Web site does not (easily) show who the Board of Directors includes
Apple Doesn't Want Anybody to Ask What Happened to Vision Pro
They lost a lot of money
If You Want More Verifiable (Auditable) Security, Use GNU Linux-Libre
GNU/Linux will never be 100% secure
Microsoft XBox Can't Stop Talking About Slop
Will we see more "prepared" (under embargo) Microsoft propaganda released simultaneously at 9PM tonight?
Rust Will Not Inherit the Earth, It Barely Deserves a Place on the Planet
Rust - like Haskell and many other short-lived fetishes - will come and go
Truth Versus Fiction: IBM's Collapse Due to Money Crunch, Not Slop Disguised as Code
core issue is financial
Priceless leaks found in crowdfunding campaign
Reprinted with permission from Daniel Pocock
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Thursday, February 26, 2026
IRC logs for Thursday, February 26, 2026
[Video] "New RMS [Richard Stallman] Positive Media" Reaches Millions of Viewers This Week
Assuming 5+ million people will watch this on the first week, that's good publicity for the Free software movement
Another Quiet Slop Day Passes By
the number of slopfarms we can locate/track is fast decreasing
Gemini Links 26/02/2026: Sending a Thesis and Lupa/Onion ("Lupa now lists Gemini .onion addresses")
Links for the day
Links 26/02/2026: Bcachefs Man Bonkers, "Seven Journalists Convicted for Taking Photos at Courtroom"
Links for the day
Links 26/02/2026: "Peak Mental Sharpness" and "The Whole Economy Pays the Amazon Tax"
Links for the day
If You Value Privacy, Follow the Likes of Eben Moglen, Phil Zimmermann, and Richard Stallman, Not Back Doors' Boosters Who Mislabel Themselves as Security Experts
Signal is not really secure
"Community" Site Deleted by Jeffrey Epstein-Connected 'Linux' Foundation Had Interview Where Eben Moglen Spoke of GPLv3 and of DRM, Back Doors Etc.
Deleting what happened or what was said two decades ago
Richard Stallman (Free Software Foundation) and Eben Moglen (Columbia Law School) Explained 25 Years Ago That Proprietary Software (and Proprietary Firmware) Would Lead to Back Doors
a fortnight after the 9/11 terror attacks in the US
Writer's Block is Not a Problem to Us, Only a Lack of Time
Or timewasting by aggressive militants who try to silence us [...] People who experience writer's block very often find it depressing (it feels unproductive) and sometimes come to the conclusion that perhaps writing isn't for them
Giving to the Community Versus Taking From the Community (or Worse, Attacking the Community)
some people bring no contributions, only harm
LLM Slop Will Try to 'Rewrite' History of UNIX and GNU/Linux
We occasionally see slopfarms spreading misinformation about UNIX, GNU, and Linux
March Plans for Techrights
next month we plan to start the series about how the SRA failed
Where Does the Solicitors Regulation Authority (SRA) Stand on Machine-Generated Legal Documents and Copy-pasting One Client's Lawsuit to Start Another (for American Serial Strangler)?
Now that many law firms cheat (copypasta, paper DOoS, LLM slop, breaches of rules, even defaming the other side) the SRA cannot keep up
Of Course Android is Not Free Software
That Android is not about freedom should not be so shocking
Talking About Blackboxes
Having just reposted a couple of articles from Alex Oliva
Microsoft Slop is Already Killing XBox
Microsoft will fail at alleviating such concerns
Two Weeks Have Passed and It Looks Like Conde Nast's Ars Sloppica Sacked "Senior" "AI" "Reporter" Benj Edwards But Did Not Remove All His LLM-Produced 'Articles'
the editorial standards at Conde Nast's Ars Sloppica are a joke
Alex Oliva (GNU Linux-Libre): Stricter is Less Popular
Reprinted with permission from Alex Oliva
Fraud and Crimes at Microsoft
A lot of these American companies simply cheat and even bribe
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Wednesday, February 25, 2026
IRC logs for Wednesday, February 25, 2026
FSF's Alex Oliva on Hardware Black Boxes
Reprinted with permission from Alex Oliva
What Microsoft Hides Underneath
In recent years a lot of this shell game was played via "Open" "AI" [sic]
A Lot of Slopfarms Died, Google News Feeds the Few Which Survived and Still Target "Linux"
Many just simply died
Links 25/02/2026: Fifth Year of War in Ukraine, Dihydroxyacetone Man Looking to Start More Wars
Links for the day
Gemini Links 25/02/2026: Retired a Year, Illness, Losing a Lung, and "Back to Gemini"
Links for the day
The Register MS Published a Ponzi Scheme-Boosting Fake Article This Morning. It Mentions "AI" 30 Times.
Will credibility be left after the bubble pops entirely?
They Try to Ruin Linux, Too ("Attestation" in GNU/Linux)
In the context of Web browsers, this isn't unprecedented and we wrote a lot about it
Mozzarella Company: All Our Cheese Comes With Mold Now, But You Can Ask the Seller to Remove the Mold
If you reject and oppose slop, do not download/use Firefox
Stallman Was Right About Back Doors
I had some conversations with Dr. Stallman about security and back doors
Australian Signals Directorate ex-employee sold back doors to Russia
Reprinted with permission from Daniel Pocock
IBM Debt-Loading and Liability (Toxic Asset) Offloading
One can hope that IBM will be subjected to the same attention Kyndryl received, but this boils down to politics
Links 25/02/2026: 'Hybrid Warfare' and "Boycott the State of the Union"
Links for the day
IBM (and Red Hat) Can Disappear in the Coming Years, Along With Kyndryl (Debt Twice as Big as Its 'Worth')
No wonder Red Hat workers tell us they hate IBM
Software Freedom is Science, But It Also Sustains Life
In some sense, Software Freedom can be explained in the context of nourishing people
“Xbox, like a lot of businesses that aren’t the core AI business, is being sunsetted."
There has been a lot of narrative control lately, including at 9PM on a Friday
3,300 Capsules Known to Lupa and Currently Accessible
Gemini Protocol turns 7 this summer
When it Comes to Firmware, the FSF and Its Founder RMS Won the Argument (But Not the Fight, Yet)
The "whataboutism" tactics are physiological manipulation means of discouraging those who move in the correct direction
Austria Tackles Digital Weapon Disguised as "Social" and/or "Media"
Are we seeing the end days of Social Control Media?
Nothing Over the Horizon for XBox
XBox is not even being sold in many places anymore
Solicitors Regulation Authority (SRA) Contradicting Itself: You Can Use Slop to Cheat Clients, But You Can Also Face Disciplinary Actions Over Slop
Where does the SRA stand on the matter?
In Praise of Eben Moglen
Hopefully Professor Moglen will be with us for many decades to come and become an active speaker on issues such as Software Freedom
Sunsetting IBM (for the Benefit of Few Corrupt Officials and Wall Street Speculators)
IBM will not (and cannot) survive for much longer [...] The issue is bad leadership, not any particular nationality/race
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Tuesday, February 24, 2026
IRC logs for Tuesday, February 24, 2026
Gemini Links 25/02/2026: Rise of Solar in 2025 and Smallnet Protocols
Links for the day