Bonum Certa Men Certa

European Law Firms Are Marketing Illegal Software Patents Using Meaningless Buzzwords

HEY HI and software developers



Summary: The promotion of software patents in Europe has become so shallow that it boils down to nothing but dumb PR; lawyers speak like children, infatuated by infantile, misused and misapplied nonsense like "HEY HI" (AI) and "Fintech" instead of something with technical substance

THE MANAGEMENT of the European Patent Office (EPO) -- from Brimelow to Campinos (and the one in the middle) -- loves to pretend that it is OK to grant patents on algorithms. Similarly, Iancu at the USPTO pretends he can ignore 35 U.S.C. €§ 101 by cherry-picking court cases. These are issues we've long covered here. It's nothing new. At the end what matters is the courts' determination, albeit not every party -- especially small defendant (party being accused) -- can afford a court battle, so many would settle over assertion of totally bogus software patents. Again, this is hardly a new problem. So it is very important to ensure such patents never get granted in the first place.



"Before the weekend we also saw Jones Day's Stefan Schneider, Jakob Guhn, Emily J. Tait, Andrea Weiss Jeffries and Andreas Holzwarth-Rochford leveraging "HEY HI" (AI), a nonsensical and reborn buzzword, to promote illegal patents on software."The EPO has been doing lots of advocacy of illegal software patents this month; it's really blatant and routine, though they've come up with a bunch of new buzzwords and fluff. Now they add "digi" to everything. Before the weekend we also saw Jones Day's Stefan Schneider, Jakob Guhn, Emily J. Tait, Andrea Weiss Jeffries and Andreas Holzwarth-Rochford leveraging "HEY HI" (AI), a nonsensical and reborn buzzword, to promote illegal patents on software. Jones Day is a very large law firm, so reposing its nonsense ("IP Protection of Artificial Intelligence in Europe") in other sites like Lexology is probably pocket change to them. Here's what they wrote:

Business value may therefore be found in protecting (i) AI models and/or algorithms; (ii) software in which the models/algorithmsare embedded; (iii) training, evaluation and/or optimization strategies; (iv) training data; and (v) result data (i.e.work product). IP protection may be sought for all or a subset of these potential assets.

While copyright essentially only protects source code written by a programmer, further IP rights suitable for other aspects of an AI innovation are discussed below.


Notice how shamelessly they admit that these are "algorithms" and they're taking about Europe specifically.

Meanwhile, in Poland, another article emerged with another buzzword. It speaks of "intellectual property protection" (propaganda terms) and Oliwia Czarnocka (JWP Patent & Trademark Attorneys) relies on worthless buzzwords like "Fintech" to advance patents on software in Europe. To quote a portion:

Patents provide a mechanism for excluding other businesses from creating, using and selling patented technologies. This allows businesses to gain or maintain market share and protect the investments made into research and development. Patents ensure a competitive advantage and are used as a tool in negotiations.

Each development strategy should take into account whether patent protection is available for innovations in basic technologies. Competitors may have their own patents or be undergoing patent proceedings (in such cases we suggest carrying out a patent search). Obtaining patent protection is a lengthy and costly process in comparison with other intellectual property rights. However, there are international agreements which allow postponing expenses but guarantee early commencement of protection for important innovations. Considering Fintech's rapid pace of development, obtaining early protection is crucial due to the nature of the patent system, in which the date of filing the application has great significance.


This is typical waffle from law firms trying to persuade potential/prospective clients to pursue patents court would reject anyway.

What do they care?

"Not my department!"

"This is typical waffle from law firms trying to persuade potential/prospective clients to pursue patents court would reject anyway."We'd like to remind readers that we do not oppose patents but the cheapening of patents, or the sick mindset which says, "let's patent anything in existence!"

This relies on the ludicrous philosophy that society would be better off with everything as a monopoly. Team UPC is looking to extend these monopolies globally, even past language and border barriers.

The other day we saw this press release [1, 2] that said: "Medicortex Finland Oy, an innovative biopharmaceutical company focused on the development of diagnostics and drug treatment for mild traumatic brain injury (TBI), today announced that the European Patent Office (EPO) has issued a patent covering company’s new diagnostic kit technology."

"We need a policy that favours science and scientists, not law firms."Those are physical diagnostic kits "for detection of concussion and mild traumatic brain injury from urine or saliva."

Those patents aren't on algorithms and are based on biomarkers; we aren't against European Patents but against the unacceptable status quo, where the EPC is violated with impunity and while Europe experiences a plague the EPO looks to justify those violations. The above law firms are fully on board as it would mean more income for them (and we know at whose expense). We need a policy that favours science and scientists, not law firms.

Recent Techrights' Posts

EPO Strike Begins Today and It's the Longest One Yet (Can Last a Year)
Where's the media?
People Discuss Rumours of Mass Layoffs at IBM Becoming Public in 1-2 Weeks
IBM is killing its brand or its "goodwill"
The Old Days
In the early days of this site (2006) it was mostly just a couple of people, plus comments
 
Passage of Wealth Upwards, Blaming the Victims
Tim Sweeney's net worth is 5.1 billion USD according to Forbes
More Media Needs to Tell the Public Slop is a Giant Bubble, It Should Stop Taking "Sponsorship" Money to Inflate This Bubble
If enough of (what's left of) the media changes its tune and quits being a parrot of GAFAM, then we can debate slop like grown-ups
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Sunday, March 29, 2026
IRC logs for Sunday, March 29, 2026
Trying to Hide One's Abuses by Imposing Silence on Critics ("My Profile Was Private")
With enough daylight, sooner or later everyone knows you are a vampire
Fedora Badges System Shows the Demise of Fedora Under IBM
IBM isn't good at keeping what it buys
IBM is Sunsetting Red Hat, It Only Uses the Brand and the Shell
IBM buys or spins off companies as containers for "toxic assets" and debt
Cisco Systems is a Still Weak Spot With Bug Doors
nothing to offer except storytelling
Gemini Links 30/03/2026: Approaching April and Arvelie Calendar
Links for the day
No Daylight Saved
Is there still any practical reason for this ritual?
Microsoft Azure Does Not Have "Hiring Freezes", It Has Had Mass Layoffs Every Year Since 2020
Things are always a lot worse than Microsoft formally or publicly acknowledges
SLAPP Censorship - Part 27 Out of 200: Using the Tor Network to Hide From Consequences
Only 1-2 weeks after the countersuit the Canadian attempted to deplatform several Web sites
The Limits of Inclusion
Inclusion with caution isn't "opinionated"; it's a defence mechanism, sometimes a survival instinct
Almost 20 Years After Microsoft/Novell
The mission has not changed, but the priorities evolve all the time
LLM Slop Kills Sites, as Sites That Adopt Slop Are Doomed
People won't subscribe to such sites and visit them if they recognise it's just slop
Links 29/03/2026: Indonesia Cracks Down on Social Control Media Addiction, China Becomes World’s Scientific Superpower
Links for the day
Fedora at the Mercy of Microsoft Because of Back-Doored Kick-Switch Boot
We'll soon revisit the defamation attacks on Torvalds
Links 29/03/2026: Water Shortages and No Kings Rallies
Links for the day
Gemini Links 29/03/2026: Return to Gopherspace, "Zen of Marking Playing Cards"
Links for the day
The Real XBox is Dead, So Microsoft is Calling Everything "XBox" Now
It even wanted to run a campaign to convince everybody that XBox is not actually a console
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Saturday, March 28, 2026
IRC logs for Saturday, March 28, 2026
Open Web Destroyed by Centibillionaires, Says Anil Dash of Blogging Fame
Blogging was going through its 'prime years' about 20 years ago
"Linux" Slop Going Away, Microsoft et al Pay 'Linux' Foundation to Promote Slop
It's a timely reminder that the Linux Foundation exists to promote whoever pays the Linux Foundation, even pedophiles and companies that attack the GPL
Links 28/03/2026: Microsoft's LinkedIn a National Security Risk, Microsoft's Slop "Ambitions Face Investor Scrutiny Amid Soaring Costs"
Links for the day
Gemini Links 28/03/2026: "Finding My Base Tone", "Astrobotany", and BugoutBack/OFFLFIRSOCH
Links for the day
Links 28/03/2026: More Worldwide Bans on Social Control Media (Harms to Adolescents), Protests in US Against Dictatorship
Links for the day
SLAPP Censorship - Part 26 Out of 200: Asking for Documents and Information You Already Have, Even Letters and E-mails That You Yourself Sent!
barristers are expensive
Gemini Links 28/03/2026: Echo Delay and 0x0.st
Links for the day
Rumours of More IBM Mass Layoffs at Beginning of April
IBM is not doing well
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Friday, March 27, 2026
IRC logs for Friday, March 27, 2026