Bonum Certa Men Certa

European Law Firms Are Marketing Illegal Software Patents Using Meaningless Buzzwords

HEY HI and software developers



Summary: The promotion of software patents in Europe has become so shallow that it boils down to nothing but dumb PR; lawyers speak like children, infatuated by infantile, misused and misapplied nonsense like "HEY HI" (AI) and "Fintech" instead of something with technical substance

THE MANAGEMENT of the European Patent Office (EPO) -- from Brimelow to Campinos (and the one in the middle) -- loves to pretend that it is OK to grant patents on algorithms. Similarly, Iancu at the USPTO pretends he can ignore 35 U.S.C. €§ 101 by cherry-picking court cases. These are issues we've long covered here. It's nothing new. At the end what matters is the courts' determination, albeit not every party -- especially small defendant (party being accused) -- can afford a court battle, so many would settle over assertion of totally bogus software patents. Again, this is hardly a new problem. So it is very important to ensure such patents never get granted in the first place.



"Before the weekend we also saw Jones Day's Stefan Schneider, Jakob Guhn, Emily J. Tait, Andrea Weiss Jeffries and Andreas Holzwarth-Rochford leveraging "HEY HI" (AI), a nonsensical and reborn buzzword, to promote illegal patents on software."The EPO has been doing lots of advocacy of illegal software patents this month; it's really blatant and routine, though they've come up with a bunch of new buzzwords and fluff. Now they add "digi" to everything. Before the weekend we also saw Jones Day's Stefan Schneider, Jakob Guhn, Emily J. Tait, Andrea Weiss Jeffries and Andreas Holzwarth-Rochford leveraging "HEY HI" (AI), a nonsensical and reborn buzzword, to promote illegal patents on software. Jones Day is a very large law firm, so reposing its nonsense ("IP Protection of Artificial Intelligence in Europe") in other sites like Lexology is probably pocket change to them. Here's what they wrote:

Business value may therefore be found in protecting (i) AI models and/or algorithms; (ii) software in which the models/algorithmsare embedded; (iii) training, evaluation and/or optimization strategies; (iv) training data; and (v) result data (i.e.work product). IP protection may be sought for all or a subset of these potential assets.

While copyright essentially only protects source code written by a programmer, further IP rights suitable for other aspects of an AI innovation are discussed below.


Notice how shamelessly they admit that these are "algorithms" and they're taking about Europe specifically.

Meanwhile, in Poland, another article emerged with another buzzword. It speaks of "intellectual property protection" (propaganda terms) and Oliwia Czarnocka (JWP Patent & Trademark Attorneys) relies on worthless buzzwords like "Fintech" to advance patents on software in Europe. To quote a portion:

Patents provide a mechanism for excluding other businesses from creating, using and selling patented technologies. This allows businesses to gain or maintain market share and protect the investments made into research and development. Patents ensure a competitive advantage and are used as a tool in negotiations.

Each development strategy should take into account whether patent protection is available for innovations in basic technologies. Competitors may have their own patents or be undergoing patent proceedings (in such cases we suggest carrying out a patent search). Obtaining patent protection is a lengthy and costly process in comparison with other intellectual property rights. However, there are international agreements which allow postponing expenses but guarantee early commencement of protection for important innovations. Considering Fintech's rapid pace of development, obtaining early protection is crucial due to the nature of the patent system, in which the date of filing the application has great significance.


This is typical waffle from law firms trying to persuade potential/prospective clients to pursue patents court would reject anyway.

What do they care?

"Not my department!"

"This is typical waffle from law firms trying to persuade potential/prospective clients to pursue patents court would reject anyway."We'd like to remind readers that we do not oppose patents but the cheapening of patents, or the sick mindset which says, "let's patent anything in existence!"

This relies on the ludicrous philosophy that society would be better off with everything as a monopoly. Team UPC is looking to extend these monopolies globally, even past language and border barriers.

The other day we saw this press release [1, 2] that said: "Medicortex Finland Oy, an innovative biopharmaceutical company focused on the development of diagnostics and drug treatment for mild traumatic brain injury (TBI), today announced that the European Patent Office (EPO) has issued a patent covering company’s new diagnostic kit technology."

"We need a policy that favours science and scientists, not law firms."Those are physical diagnostic kits "for detection of concussion and mild traumatic brain injury from urine or saliva."

Those patents aren't on algorithms and are based on biomarkers; we aren't against European Patents but against the unacceptable status quo, where the EPC is violated with impunity and while Europe experiences a plague the EPO looks to justify those violations. The above law firms are fully on board as it would mean more income for them (and we know at whose expense). We need a policy that favours science and scientists, not law firms. ⬆

Recent Techrights' Posts

100 Years of IBM Racism
GAFAM is not about "diversity" or "equity" or whatever. It's a greedy, money-making venture, even if they appoint CEOs of colour
Intercontinental Brigading - Part IX - Literature About Malignant Narcissists in America Silencing the Press
There's a price for criticising abuses
Gemini Links 28/10/2026: BaseFree Numerical System, Tolino Vision 2, and More
Links for the day
 
Links 28/10/2026: "Rest of World Faces Prospect of Shutting Down" and Robert Reich Says "Musk Wants Me Imprisoned"
Links for the day
Gemini Links 28/10/2026: Cold Outside Again and Maths
Links for the day
Intercontinental Brigading - Part XX - Restricted and Moot, or How 'Secure Boot' Turns Out to be a Disaster (Again) This Week
It already has a history of breaking/bricking servers
Racism at Microsoft
Microsoft tribalism has an element to it aside from corporate allegiance
Compelling Examiners at the European Patent Office to Fake "Growth" (in Patent Monopolies) Using Slop and Sloppy Processes
The agenda of management is likely illegal and the methods likewise
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Tuesday, October 27, 2026
IRC logs for Tuesday, October 27, 2026
The Cyber Show on Plagiarism (BS Artists) and Fear of GNU/Linux Users
Take a look at these articles
"EVENTS" as Paid Spam (Marketing) at The Register MS
Now that layoffs are "buyouts" and debt is "credit" (or "investment" in slop) why not call spam "event"?
Just Jealous
LLMs vs Developers
The Need for Operating System Kernels That Forbid LLM Slop
Not even OpenBSD is an alternative to Linux slop
Links 27/10/2026: "Why My Dad Didn’t Have a Cell Phone" and Sudan Famine Risk
Links for the day
Links 27/10/2026: Google Increases Spying on Online Everything (Personal Files, Mail), Anthropic Takes Its Losses and Debt Public
Links for the day
Intercontinental Brigading - Part XVIII - Microsoft is Not the Victim (It Was Never the Victim), It's Just DARVO
"DARVO is now in the dictionary. That’s a win for abuse survivors"
The British Economy Too Dependent on an American Slop Scheme
United States Government debt will soon eclipse 40.5 trillion dollars
We've Already Begun Work on the 20th Year of Techrights
We'll do a yearlong endeavour of improvement instead of a one-day hurrah
Intercontinental Brigading - Part XVII - The Relevance of Silent Layoffs at Microsoft
"Economic Crime and Corporate Transparency Act: strategic lawsuits against public participation (SLAPPs)"
Volunteers or Unpaid Developers Won't Bother Interacting With Mindless LLMs That Pass Labour From Lazy Companies to Human Beings
The people who run Debian are killing the will to do Free software
Slop is Killing the Open Web
The Web is a jungle and "open sites" (without restrictions or walls) are exposed to the 'feeding frenzy' of reckless plagiarists who call their "theft" something like "super intelligence" or "training"
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Monday, October 26, 2026
IRC logs for Monday, October 26, 2026
As Microsoft Tells Close to 30% of Its Staff to Leave IBM Takes Notes
IBM does the same with PIPs
It's Perfectly Possible That Microsoft Has Just Told Most of Its American Workers to Leave
A better news headline might focus on the US and give a figure like 50%, not "quarter"
Richard Stallman Was Right About "Hey Hi"
Now the chicken come home to roost
Gemini Links 27/10/2026: "To Change or Not To Change?" and "Initial Planner Plans"
Links for the day
Intercontinental Brigading - Part XVI - The Faustian Pact That Irritates Hired Guns is Still a Distraction From the Serious Harm Done by Their Clients to GNU/Linux Users (Notably Plagiarism and Back Doors)
We'd rather talk about the harms caused
Links 26/10/2026: Microsoft Chaffbot "Building Detailed Psychological Profiles of Its Users", Man Executed for Childhood Offenses
Links for the day
Gemini Links 26/10/2026: Writing Down Dreams and "Sabbath as Resistance"
Links for the day
The Register MS Gets Rid of Disclosures About Paid-for Spam Regarding "AI", It Also Composes Fake News for the Sponsors
Selling away its credibility is known as "Sellout"
Microsoft 'Buyouts' Sound Just Like 60,000 Layoffs of 'Expensive' or More Experienced Staff ('Soft' Layoffs or Even Worse, Negligible Severance)
This is not a "gift" to staff, it's just a pink slip with a hundred dollar bill attached to it
This is How Microsoft Ends (Over a Quarter of the Company Now on the Chopping Block)
Microsoft has quit pretending
Search Without Encryption for Legacy Systems (Permacomputing) and Full Backward Compatibility
At your own risk
Shift to the Lula (Left)
Lula is a friend of Free software and ODF
More Stories and Material Than We Can Publish
We're gaining or have amassed material faster than we manage to publish
European Patent Office Takes From the Poor to Give More to the Rich
The "pension schemes are overfunded at 120.5%"
Intercontinental Brigading - Part XV - Annualised Consequences for Opposing Microsoft Back Doors in Linux Since 2012
a roundup of what we got from GGG
Links 26/10/2026: China’s Communist Party Plenum and Aleksandar Vucic Concedes Defeat
Links for the day
In Reporting, Timing is Everything
If you keep calling people "paedophiles" when you yourself are connected to paedophiles (or are a paedophile), you're attracting a lot of unwanted attention to yourself
Links 25/10/2026: Microsoft Layoffs and Cuts, Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva Wins Election
Links for the day
Gemini Links 26/10/2026: Brazilian Politics and Leaving Bear Blog
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Sunday, October 25, 2026
IRC logs for Sunday, October 25, 2026