Summary: How Microsoft internally interprets words that it is saying to the public and to the press
Marketing help: bribe (common practice when the competition has more to offer)
Apology: acceptance that denial or blame-passing is no longer feasible
Open Source: some code in proprietary GitHub
Privacy: a GUI slider that gives user an illusion of discreetness
Telemetry: surveillance
Cortana: listening device
Skype: warrantless surveillance on calls (NSA PRISM)
LinkedIn: surveillance on one's personal and career history
Windows: malware with a bootloader
Bill Gates: purveyor of the myth of Microsoft as a charitable organisation
Satya Nadella: purveyor of the myth of Microsoft as a tolerant company, bossed by Bill Gates (Board)
Edge: rebranded MSIE, software for extracting the list of pages Web users access
OEM: middleman that forces all computer buyers to also pay for Windows
Patent: purveyor of the myth of Microsoft as innovator and ammunition for lawsuits against rivals
Feature: something new that helps Microsoft
Bug: see "feature" above
Back door: see "Windows" above
Bug door: back door with excuses for it premeditated
Sale: rental
Free: temporarily gratis subscription
Upgrade: price hike
Developer: one-night stand