Bonum Certa Men Certa

Software Patents Won't Come Back Just Because They're (Re)Framed/Branded as "HEY HI" (AI)

Building another house of cards or patent bubble

AI hype at EPO



Summary: The pattern we've been observing in recent years is, patent applicants and law firms simply rewrite applications to make these seem patent-eligible on the surface (owing to deliberate deception) and patent offices facilitate these loopholes in order to fake 'growth'

THIS site has changed a bit this year. Since springtime we've increased focus on GNU/Linux and since last winter we've been gradually reducing coverage of U.S. Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) affairs, focusing instead on the European Patent Office (EPO) under António Campinos, Battistelli's friend. There's still plenty of coverage about 35 U.S.C. €§ 101 cases in our daily links (which recently became bi-daily) and we habitually write about software patents. It's just that in the world as a whole, notably in the US, such patents are waning. How does one 'work around' Mayo/Alice (SCOTUS)? It's not simple, but at the examination phase it's easier to manipulate the examiners into granting patents on algorithms. Days ago Watchtroll once again blasted the Patent Trial and Appeal Board (PTAB), equating its work with "harassment" of "patent owners" [sic], then urging Andrei Iancu to stop or at least curtail inter partes reviews (IPRs). This sort of blowhard nonsense from Watchtroll's founder simply reveals just how desperate and foolish patent zealots have become.



"The writers at IAM constantly promote these buzzwords, as does the EPO."Watchtroll, however, does not have a monopoly on such nonsense. And to think that the EPO's management liaises with Watchtroll is a rather disturbing thought.

The desire to 'dance' around the law and grant bogus, abstract patents isn't new. Methods appear to have increased in number and these typically boil down to semantics and buzzwords.

"It certainly seems like the world of patents is increasingly dominated by marketing phonies and imposters, not technical people. That's a profound problem.""Through strategic claim drafting, oil and gas companies can overcome Section 101 and obtain patents covering digital technologies and AI, say Charles Collins-Chase, Jennifer Roscetti and Paul Townsend of Finnegan," wrote the patent maximalists in "Oil and gas digitalisation: overcoming €§101 to obtain valuable patents". They basically celebrate software patents that are fake patents using buzzwords like "HEY HI" and other nonsense put forth by the likes of Finnegan, a litigation giant that sponsors the likes of IAM. The writers at IAM constantly promote these buzzwords, as does the EPO. What would courts say? They're not in the business of granting as many patents as possible, so a sober analysis would likely squash such patents. But it's not cheap; court battles are very expensive.

Citing the EPO's "Problem-Solution Approach", patent attorney "MaxDrei" (frequent commenter on EPO matters at IP Kat) wrote about some of these ridiculous "HEY HI" patents that reach the EPO and other patent offices. To quote the comment:

Let us take the two examples and address them like the EPO does, using its Problem-Solution Approach. So, two part form of claim, characterized by.....fractal. Thus, the beverage container I take to be old except that its bumps and dimples are, well, fractal ones.

According to the application as filed, what is the technical problem (X) for which "fractal" is the solution? What is it that fractal bumps do that conventional bump patterns fail to do? We need to know that, so we can scour the prior art universe for hints or suggestions that, if X is your problem, it might be worth rendering your bumps as "fractal".

Could it be that the only problem we can derive from the application as filed is the problem of finding an alternative? Could it be that the algorithm was also searching the prior art to find an alternative and found it in "fractal"?

As to the candle invention, I can see that random or pseudo-random flickering might command attention more strikingly than metronomic flickering. But again, what is the technical problem (Y) for which the solution is "fractal"?

The imaginary person skilled in the art is deemed dispassionately to scour all the prior art, looking for hints or suggestions. Is this not the same as what the machine "inventor" is doing? If it finds any such hint or suggestion, has it executed an act of invention? But then; what if it keeps quiet about where it found its hint or suggestion and instead holds out its feature combination as its own flash of inspiration? Who can deny it?


As we argued earlier this month, this whole "HEY HI" nonsense poses a risk to the very legitimacy of patent systems. There are several reasons for this. But the aspect most troubling to us is the degree to which "HEY HI" gets leveraged as a mere buzzword; just about any algorithm -- never mind if machine learning-centric or not -- is being cast or framed as "HEY HI" because it does something 'clever'. It certainly seems like the world of patents is increasingly dominated by marketing phonies and imposters, not technical people. That's a profound problem. Watchtroll blocked me in Twitter after it had lost an argument over software patents -- an argument which incidentally revealed that Watchtroll's founder doesn't even know what software is and how it works! ⬆

Recent Techrights' Posts

Links 21/10/2026: "Zelensky Took the Gloves Off This Time With Convicted Felon" and "Cellebrite iPhone Radio Zero-Day"
Links for the day
Reuters is Becoming Slop, Not a News Agency (Treat Reports From Reuters Sceptically)
In their own words
Disclosure/s Crisis at The Register MS (Promoting a Ponzi Scheme for Money)
So now they sell several schemes/scams at the same time, not limited to the slop
Links 21/10/2026: "The Tragic Death of the Republican Party" and "No War But Data Center War"
Links for the day
Internet Relay Chat Still Growing
The numbers go up, not down [...] Don't believe the doomers
Intercontinental Brigading - Part X - American Back Doors Inside Our Computers, With Transatlantic Swatting Against Critics Thrown 'Into the Mix'
"If your Windows PC's Secure Boot certificates are out of date, your system is vulnerable to malware like rootkits."
Gemini Links 21/10/2026: A Walk Through Amsterdam and Pythagorean Theorem
Links for the day
More Mass Layoffs at Microsoft Weeks From Now, Then Again Months From Now
Microsoft's crisis is not limited to XBox
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Tuesday, October 20, 2026
IRC logs for Tuesday, October 20, 2026
Gemini Links 20/10/2026: The Brothers Who Fought Mussolini and a Dying Main Laptop
Links for the day
Brett Wilson LLP Has Almost Zero Litigation Clients This Year (in the Area They Specialise in)
The silence on the financial front, combined with the lack of new clients, is deafening
Where to Celebrate the 20-Year Anniversary
let us know in IRC
Cheapening of the Workforce at IBM and Microsoft, Typically Without Even Announcing Any Layoffs
from leadership to compelled "retirement"
Help Us Improve Techrights
The site relies on teamwork in a growing community; even readers are part of it
Links 20/10/2026: $100 Million ICE “Intelligence” Program and France Riots
Links for the day
Gemini Links 20/10/2026: GAFAM GCP Outage in the UK and New Oddμ Release
Links for the day
Articles in The Register MS Composed by Employees of the Companies They're About
The Register MS is the place to be
Intercontinental Brigading - Part IX - Swatting is Not Funny, Swatting is a Murder Attempt
“Swatting is not harmless. It is a serious crime that can lead to dangerous situations and divert law enforcement away from someone facing an actual emergency. What callers may believe to be a ‘joke’ actually risks the public safety of our communities and can carry lifelong consequences for those responsible”
Links 20/10/2026: Facebook Scraping and Plagiarising News Sites, Copyright Act Turns 50
Links for the day
Microsoft's XBox Leadership and Strategy is Slop
XBox sales are already worst in the entire history of XBox
81% Voted in Favour of EPO Strikes Until End of This Year
Who's in the line of succession at EPO?
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Monday, October 19, 2026
IRC logs for Monday, October 19, 2026
Gemini Links 20/10/2026: Old Movies, Bandera Hike, and Mongolian
Links for the day
Techrights Search One Year Later
This year, as we turn 20 in just over 2 weeks, we'll have more surprises and enhancements
EPO Strikes Will Carry on Until End of This Year (as We Predicted), Will Likely Continue Next Year/s
Do we still have media in Europe?
'Cocaine King' Campinos Doesn't Have Sufficient Votes to Carry On Unchallenged, But He Has 2 More Months to Bribe Voters With 'Cooperation Money'
In any democratic, functioning institution they would not even ask if he can continue another term; he would be summarily sacked and investigated over the corruption, the cocaine, the racism and so on
Media 'Blackout' About Microsoft-Danfoss Connection After Almost 1,000 Supermarkets in France Get Cracked, Huge Amount of Food Destroyed
someone deployed malware to fridges
Today The Register MS Published "SPONSORED POST" Paid for by the Communist Party of China, It Mentions "AI" 19 Times
The Register MS is a marketing company
In Late October 2025 Spouse of Matthew Garrett Said He Had Them Raped and Broke Legs of Puppies, This Week Says He "Doesn’t Know How to Use Computers or Power Tools" (He Studied Genetics, Not Computers)
Harvey Weinstein did the same
Microsoft is Paying Many Workers to Leave the Company This Year, Just Don't Call it "Layoffs"
in some cases Microsoft pays people to leave while calling it "voluntary"
Gemini Links 19/10/2026: Orchids, Reducing GAFAM Reliance, and Deploying on OpenBSD
Links for the day
Links 19/10/2026: Intense Protests in France and "Zelenskyy Says Russia Seeking Blackout In Ukraine"
Links for the day
Intercontinental Brigading - Part VIII - How We Convinced British Police That the Americans Were Just Manipulating and Tricking Them at the Expense of British Taxpayers
Their job is to protect communities, not the feelings of Americans who threaten violence
IBM CEO Boasts to the Media About "AI" Momentum While Sacking His Workers Who Worked On It
Recently, IBM took a bailout and got rid of many workers
Corrupt Media Benefits Corrupt Officials (the Case of IBM)
IBM’s Pre-Earnings Publicity Blitz
Links 19/10/2026: "Investors Disturbed by Anthropic's Financial Data" and "The "Dead Internet" Is Here" (Slop and Bots Running on Huge Debt)
Links for the day
Gemini Links 19/10/2026: ICEYE/SAR, Smol Servers, and Starting an Open Access Journal
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Sunday, October 18, 2026
IRC logs for Sunday, October 18, 2026