Bonum Certa Men Certa

Matthew Garrett’s Twitter Log Shows Exactly Why We Need to Give Security Theater the Boot

Guest post by Ryan, reprinted with permission from the original

Matthew Garrett put Security Theater Boot support into the Linux kernel some time ago, and he got a Free Software Treachery Award for it from the joke that the FSF has turned into.



"Bootkits just really aren’t much of a problem on desktop GNU/Linux..."Now on his Twitter log, he shows us some of the mess he has caused.



See, if you have “Secure” Boot turned on, and you shouldn’t, but if you do, you’ll see the Linux kernel complain that it is disabling hibernation support, and while that alone really isn’t a huge problem because as long as you can suspend and resume (which still is far from given these days even though we were lied to and told uEFI would be better, over ten years ago), it really shows where we’re at now.



Bootkits just really aren’t much of a problem on desktop GNU/Linux, and I doubt they were ever a real problem on much of anything involving a competently-administered GNU/Linux systems, except maybe embedded hardware, where they can lock it down all they want, but those people don’t care about security. If some asshole at Netgear can make a cable modem based on a Linux 2.6 kernel, you’d better believe they’ll do it. After all, you probably won’t know if your modem is compromised.



In reality, I strongly suspect that even on the Windows side, Security Theater Boot was implemented to make it harder to crack Windows using a boot activation exploit. While it’s true that Microsoft laid off the locking people out of their computer over activation failures, for now, the truth is that after Windows 11 requires Security Theater Boot, OEMs may just make it mandatory and stick you with it, and then Microsoft could decide at any time to stop signing shim, and there’s no way to boot GNU/Linux on a PC anymore. The minute they think they can, they will. The only reason you could turn it off up until now was that they had legacy software and hardware in support, but that’s going away.



"But in exchange for false security which doesn’t gain us anything, we’re forced to deal with no hibernation..."It’s part of the “Up yours, buy new stuff!” theme of Windows 11 where lots of expensive computers won’t run it because they’re 36 months old. (But switching to GNU/Linux on these is probably an option for you.).



But in exchange for false security which doesn’t gain us anything, we’re forced to deal with no hibernation, an entire “kernel lockdown” (unauthorized access… by you, the owner of the machine) patch set whose entire goal was to remove the user’s control over kernel settings from userspace (which Microsoft didn’t even publicly demand in exchange for signing the shim bootloader after Red Hat and Canonical bent the knee instead of filing lawsuits), and has left us unable to extend the kernel that runs our own machines with out-of-tree drivers that we feel like running.



Since people can delete tweets and make them unavailable for critical comment, here’s what this sanctimonious asshole has been up to lately.



UEFI troll tweet



UEFI troll tweet

UEFI broken
Yes, that FAMOUS GNU/Linux bootloader, “Windows Bootloader”. There it is, under P:\EFI\Microsoft\Boot\en-us. I’d recognize it anywhere!



He guesses and gets it into the kernel, and you get to wonder if your OS will work later. He also exaggerates, misdirects, and misleads. (see above) But that’s what carnival barkers do.



That is sort of what happens when you have a failed biologist implementing Security Theater from Microsoft. Getting money from them by proxy to do it with.



The company that brought you Windows.



The operating system that goes “Herr! Derr! Here you go, have some files dumped on this here flash drive because the letter belonged to your portable hard disk earlier! Here’s some Microsoft Defender, don’tcha know!?”.



Anyway, I really do wish I had all day to read his Twitter blogs where he pontificates about how the police who protect him from the rioters are evil murderers. But I’ve thought about him too much for one day just for this post.



Anyway, enjoy Windows 11. I’m sure it’ll be great.

Recent Techrights' Posts

IBM is Already Doing 'Voluntary' Layoffs This Year in Europe ('Buyouts' Ahead of Mass Layoffs)
IBM's efforts to hide or belittle layoffs is noteworthy
Like GAFAM, US Telecom Industry Has Severe Debt Problem
Maybe their real problem is true profitability
Latest Example of False Marketing by Anthropic
Like Scam Altman, they're better at buying publicity (paying for hype) than they are at delivering something of genuine value [...] That has the full make-up of fake news and a publicity stunt
IBM: From RAs to "Workforce Re-balancing" (New Names for Mass Layoffs)
Well, "workforce re-balancing" means "RAs", which is a misleading acronym IBM has devised to soften if not hide mass layoffs.
Microsoft's Grip Has Slipped, Market Share Steadily Declining
This is why Microsoft is having financial issue
SLAPP Censorship - Part 60 Out of 200: Talking About Corruption at Microsoft and Arrest for Strangulation is "Malice"
At the moment Brett Wilson LLP has no new clients
 
Links 29/04/2026: "Snowden Affair 13 Years Later" and "Landmark Data Center Pause"
Links for the day
Seems Like Only Techrights Covered IBM Laying Off About 33% of Confluent Staff
How can such a large round of layoffs evade today's media?
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Tuesday, April 28, 2026
IRC logs for Tuesday, April 28, 2026
Gemini Links 29/04/2026: Bad Diet, New Middle Ages, and Temperature Model
Links for the day
Tracing Back the Misuse of the Word "Buyout" to Describe Merciless Mass Layoffs
So we can assume very large Microsoft layoffs are on the way, this time not spun as "buyouts"
Growing the List of Sites That Are Rogue
It's very important to raise and spread awareness of which ones are fake
Links 28/04/2026: Uganda Criminalising ‘Foreign Agents’ and China’s Economy "Starts to Show Cracks"
Links for the day
Anthropic and Claude Are National Security Risks Not Because of Politics But False Marketing and Vandalism, Plagiarism Sold as Innovation
The slop hype is causing severe damage
Gemini Links 28/04/2026: Misfin, ELPiS, and Developing Another Gemini Client
Links for the day
US Government Sites See More Traffic From Apple Devices Than Microsoft Windows PCs
Keep this in mind when Microsoft talks about mass layoffs while calling these "buyouts"
Layoffs Versus Buyouts
Microsoft has mass layoffs and those target the most experienced people in one of the best-paid locations
Aaron Hillel Swartz Would Have Turned 40 This Year
Aaron Swartz killed himself in 2013
The Trumps Are Making Jimmy Kimmel More Famous and Popular
Comedy has long been "controversial", but trying to get people sacked for the 'wrong' joke results in having no comedians or only pseudo-comedians who are the dictator's jester/joker
Links 28/04/2026: Microsoft's GitHub Upselling After Two Leaders Jumped Ship (Losses Pile Up), "Inflation Jumps," and More
Links for the day
The Corrupt Lecture the Non-Corrupt - Part VIII - "Red Line" When the European Patent Office (EPO) President Sleeps With Sister of "Cocaine Communication Manager" (Whom He Unconditionally Protects)
If only management took its own words (idealistic pontification) seriously
IBM Laying Off Thousands of Workers Again, Based on Q1 Earnings Call
under the guise of "workforce rebalancing" we are again seeing that IBM plans to pay people (severance) to leave
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Monday, April 27, 2026
IRC logs for Monday, April 27, 2026
Gemini Links 28/04/2026: Good Sunrise Viewing and Self-hosting from Home
Links for the day[1;5C
Microsoft Insiders: If You Don't Take the Lousy Severance-Like Offer, They'll PIP You Out (Microsoft Signals to People Over 40 That They'd Better Vacate the Place)
Microsoft targets its most experienced (read: expensive) workers
"AI" 16 Times in One 'Article'. The Register MS Got Paid to Post This Spammy, Promotional Piece of Slop.
Pay closer attention to who pays and who gets paid
Links 27/04/2026: Chernobyl Disaster at 40, "Heartbreaking" Decline of Australia
Links for the day
Gemini Links 27/04/2026: Gopher Catchup, MNT Reform, and Injuries
Links for the day
Red Hat Circling Down the Slop Drain
IBM, governed by slop fanatics, is going to do a lot of damage
Slop is an Addiction, Its Users Find It Addictive
please do not tolerate people who slop
The Corrupt Lecture the Non-Corrupt - Part VII - Secrecy at the EPO (Regarding Cocaine and Nepotism) Has Undermined Trust in Management
If Europe's second-largest institution is run by the "Alicante Mafia", does this mean that other key European institutions are "Mafia"?
SLAPP Censorship - Part 59 Out of 200: Mentioning the Fact Alex Graveley Arrested and Charged for Strangulation in Texas is "Reckless" and "Malicious", According to His 'Hired Guns' in London
it was framed as "malicious"
Links 27/04/2026: Strikes, Corruption in Spain (Spanish PM Sanchez' Wife), and YouTuber Faces Jail Time
Links for the day
Gemini Links 27/04/2026: Gopher Catch-up, Year of Contentment, and Path to Freedom
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Sunday, April 26, 2026
IRC logs for Sunday, April 26, 2026