Bonum Certa Men Certa

The WSL Song

We pinch Linux Like this! And then we'll squash it!



Summary: "Linux" Subsystem for Monopoly; get up and dance, peasants! Let's celebrate!

TWO reboots a week are less than sufficient That may be the cost of running a base too ancient for the technically-proficient A piece of malware and/or a keylogger -- all with its own bootable system What else can be added? Let's add more bloat to the rhythm

So we threw in GNU, but of course we called it Linux What else is new? Well, at least it's kind of like UNIX Canonical was recruited to help, but their assistant jumped ship So a Hayden we added, taking his first UNIX dip

Anonymously we trolled our critics What do they know after all? Just a bunch of fanatics! The media we bribed, except that which was already in our pockets WSL they called "LINUX", what a bunch of mindless muppets!

Several years passed and WSL was a failure We refused to reveal numbers, we said it's an error So WSL2 we trotted out, this time with Linux included ActiveX we then added, as EEE must be EEEmbedded

Here we are an election cycle later Things aren't getting better Our position is slipping even faster Our boss Bill says this should matter

In between crucial meetings Secret meetings nevertheless With Modi, with Trump With Epstein the mess

Microsoft can't be evil, for it says it loves everything And it can't be racist either, for Nadella fronts for Windows and Bing!

Microsoft loves Linux Polygamy is OK It loves Windows more so With Linux on top (crap, that sounds gay)

Cygwin is reinvented Or invented in Redmond Two decades later But it says "Microsoft" so it's a diamond

As our market share continues to dwindle Harder we shall fake Lying to our shareholders Distractions from the layoffs we bake

"Linux" Subsystem for Windows 150,000 users worldwide Anything to ensure GNU/Linux hasn't WINE on the side

Microsoft loves Linux Polygamy is OK But no bootloader, no improvements We love Linux only as long as its users pay

Recent Techrights' Posts

A Week After a Worldwide Windows Outage Microsoft is 'Bricking' Windows All On Its Own, Cannot Blame Others Anymore
A look back at a week of lousy press coverage, Microsoft deceit, and lessons to be learned
 
Links 26/07/2024: Hamburgerization of Sushi and GNU/Linux Primer
Links for the day
Links 26/07/2024: Tesco Cutbacks and Fake Patent Courts
Links for the day
Links 26/07/2024: Grimy Residue of the 'AI' Bubble and Tensions Around Alaska
Links for the day
Gemini Links 26/07/2024: More Computers and Tilde Hosting
Links for the day
Links 26/07/2024: "AI" Hype Debunked and Elon Musk's "X" Already Spreads Political Disinformation
Links for the day
"Why you boss is insatiably horny for firing you and replacing you with software."
Ask McDonalds how this "AI" nonsense with IBM worked out for them
No Olympics
We really need to focus on real news
Nobody Holds the GNOME Foundation Accountable (Not Even IRS), It's Governed by Lawyers, Not Geeks, and Headed by a Shaman Crank
GNOME is a deeply oppressive institutions that eats its own
[Meme] The 'Modern' Web and 'Linux' Foundation Reinforcing Monopolies and Cementing centralisation
They don't care about the users and issuing a few bytes with random characters costs them next to nothing. It gives them control over billions of human beings.
'Boiling the Frog' or How Online Certificate Status Protocol (OCSP) is Being Abandoned at Short Notice by Let's Encrypt
This isn't a lack of foresight but planned obsolescence
When the LLM Bubble Implodes Completely Microsoft Will be 'Finished'
Excuses like, "it's not ready yet" or "we'll fix it" won't pass muster
"An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs"
The lesson of this story is, if you do evil things, bad things will come your way. So don't do evil things.
When Wikileaks Was Still Primarily a Wiki
less than 14 years ago the international media based its war journalism on what Wikileaks had published
The Free Software Foundation Speaks Out Against Microsoft
the problem is bigger than Microsoft and in the long run - seeing Microsoft's demise - we'll need to emphasise Software Freedom
IRC Proceedings: Thursday, July 25, 2024
IRC logs for Thursday, July 25, 2024
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
Links 26/07/2024: E-mail on OpenBSD and Emacs Fun
Links for the day
Links 25/07/2024: Talks of Increased Pension Age and Biden Explains Dropping Out
Links for the day
Links 25/07/2024: Paul Watson, Kernel Bug, and Taskwarrior
Links for the day
[Meme] Microsoft's "Dinobabies" Not Amused
a slur that comes from Microsoft's friends at IBM
Flashback: Microsoft Enslaves Black People (Modern Slavery) for Profit, or Even for Losses (Still Sinking in Debt Due to LLMs' Failure)
"Paid Kenyan Workers Less Than $2 Per Hour"
From Lion to Lamb: Microsoft Fell From 100% to 13% in Somalia (Lowest Since 2017)
If even one media outlet told you in 2010 that Microsoft would fall from 100% (of Web requests) to about 1 in 8 Web requests, you'd probably struggle to believe it
Microsoft Windows Became Rare in Antarctica
Antarctica's Web stats still near 0% for Windows
Links 25/07/2024: YouTube's Financial Problem (Even After Mass Layoffs), Journalists Bemoan Bogus YouTube Takedown Demands
Links for the day
Gemini Now 70 Capsules Short of 4,000 and Let's Encrypt Sinks Below 100 (Capsules) as Self-Signed Leaps to 91%
The "gopher with encryption" protocol is getting more widely used and more independent from GAFAM
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Wednesday, July 24, 2024
IRC logs for Wednesday, July 24, 2024
Techrights Statement on YouTube
YouTube is a dying platform
[Video] Julian Assange on the Right to Know
Publishing facts is spun as "espionage" by the US government and "treason" by the Russian government, to give two notable examples
Links 25/07/2024: Tesla's 45% Profit Drop, Humble Games Employees All Laid Off
Links for the day
Gemini Links 25/07/2024: Losing Grip and collapseOS
Links for the day