Gemini* and Gopher

• Personal/Opinions

  • first night alone

    Alone after three weeks.

    Nikita has been hanging out with us almost half the time. I like to discover who she is. Very present, observing, analyzing, she likes having fun. We danced, sang karaoke, made some decorations for an upcoming party.

    I haven't tattooed her yet. I've asked a couple time what she would go for, without much feedback. I haven't tattooed much during this trip. A couple lines and dots here and there.

  • flicker

    hope flickers
    like the tiny light 
    in the glass pumpkin 
    I bought to bring joy
    

  • My music life's new direction

    A few months ago my daughter passed away. Since then, I have been evaluating what is really important me. I decided that getting my MA in Ancient and Classical History was something I wanted to do. I enjoyed going to college later in life, studying what I love, and the benefits of getting my MA is that when I retire, I can teach part-time and along with my pension and my music life (more about that directly) I will be in pretty good shape.

    I also decided that musically I have been running myself ragged and, like I did in 2012, am starting to feel the onset of burnout. The past 15 years I have been leading, fronting, constructing, marketing, promoting, organizing, singing, playing guitar, purchaseing PA gear, setting it up, running it, tearing it down, booking all the gigs (that alone will drive someone insane) and just a bunch of other things basically on my own. If you are a local musician, you know it is not a living and most venues still pay like it's 1985. I wanted to play as much as I could. And in the process completely wore myself out. Something had to change.

  • I know no one reads this

    No one reads this. And that is OK. I feel like I want things to be read, but then I realize, "it doesn't really matter" because the whole point of journaling is for me, not others.

    But still, the old BBS guy in me wants some feedback. So instead of making this a long drawn out entry, I'll simply lay out a few things that are going on in my life.

  • A Longing

    My battlestation at work consists of a laptop plugged into a docking station. The dock powers two monitors stacked on top of each other, and my laptop sits off to the side, not doing very much. I've taken to playing videos in the background while I work: everything from sports to news streams to live coverage of airports.

    This week I felt like watching something a little on the slower side. I pulled up some walking tours of southern France, Monaco and Italy. I was soon taken through cute shops in Nice, quiet alleyways in Éze, and seaside cafes in Amalfi. The stark contrast between those beautiful landscapes and the smelly industrial park I work in drew me in. And at first, watching a stroll through those idyllic places was soothing.