Bonum Certa Men Certa

McDonalds Visit Disaster, Courtesy of IBM and Apps

Reprinted with permission from Ryan Farmer



So I was trying to get back home from having my car’s wheel bearings checked out.



The wheel speed sensors all report the same speed, which is good, so we’re just going to have to look into things on a day when it’s not raining outside, as this can trip up the diagnostic. (You don’t know if the computer is putting on the ABS for real or if it’s glitching.)



Then I decided, “Why not just put in my McDonalds order through the app on my phone? They have coupons.”



Just to be safe, I screenshotted the confirmation number and receipt.



On my way home there’s the typical Chicago suburbs crap. Overturned semi-truck, guy in a stolen Dodge Charger wrapped around a tree at 100 miles an hour, school where they teach that boys are girls and girls are boys letting out.



By the time I made it 3 miles, it had been half an hour, so obviously my McDonalds app decided to crash, come back up, log me out, glitched when I tried to tell it which store I was at and went into a loop between the map and the ordering screen, and then told me the store was closed at 3 PM.



I got them to finally figure out that the order was in “the other cash register” and picked up my food.



When I got home, down the street, I realized, they had given me the wrong sandwich and they put disgusting nacho cheese and jalapeno pepper slices all over a burger? Gross! To add to this, I asked for fries with no salt and got those disgusting packing peanut heatlamp fries with too much salt



So this being Chicagoland, you can’t just do what you did in Indiana and call and have the manager push through a refund and then scrape the jalapenos off the burger and eat it. So I hopped back in the car, went down there, and told them they got the order wrong and I would like the correct burger and a fresh order of fries, with no salt.



They brought me the burger, then they brought me another bag with the fries.



I get home, there’s another burger in the bag with the fries, so I just put it in the fridge and asked my spouse if he wants it for lunch tomorrow.



In 1990, you went to McDonalds, handed them some cash, everyone paid the same price.



Maybe they asked if you wanted a 25 cent apple pie with your $2 Big Mac because 1990.



IBM sure made them efficient.



The Ketchup Nazi took a sabbatical:



On the bright side, they had a big pile of ketchup on the counter.



For a long time you had to ask, and when you said “a bunch”, “a lot”, or “look, at least give me enough for more than three fries”, they gave you 2-3 packages, or sometimes 30 packets, depending on how pissed and fuck-this-place the worker was after seeing their schedule that week.



So I started calling them the “Ketchup Nazis”, after that episode of Seinfeld where they had an Eastern European guy with a Stalinist mustache, which they called the Soup “Nazi”.



If you did anything to piss him off, he banned you from his restaurant, but his customers learned his peculiarities and “not to push it” if he made a mistake, because his soups were so good.



One day, George comes in and says they forgot his free bread. So the “Soup Nazi” tells him bread for him will be $2. Then when George complains everyone else got free bread, the “Soup Nazi” bans him from the store for two years.



He ends up getting Elaine to go in and buy soup for him incognito, after several others fear getting on the “Soup Nazi’s” bad side and refuse for fear of being banned as well, but Elaine doesn’t know the “Soup Nazi’s” protocols, and gets herself banned too.



Eventually Kramer, who is good friends with the “Soup Nazi”, gets a nice antique cabinet and sells it to Elaine, who finds out the “Soup Nazi” left all his recipes inside it.



She walks down to the store and tells him to unban them or she’ll ruin his business and “NO SOUP FOR YOU!”.



Anyway, I’m trying to get my CoC complaint against Walter Francis/Khaytsus, at the Fedora project to the point where it’ll be no soup for Walter. But I doubt his friends will do that to him.



Speaking of “hyperstagflation”…



One of “He Who Would Never Commit a CyberCrime’s” sockpuppets was in Techrights IRC the other day.



He got me in a reading binge on this infamous counterfeiter in the 1800s.



The guy was a German immigrant, Emanual Ninger, nicknamed “Jim the Penman”.



I don’t remember how the topic the troll brought up was germane to the German, but I got lost in the side quest.



Apparently, he bought paper from Crane & Company, the same source as the US Government for US bank notes, and although it was not the same exact paper, it was their best quality bond paper, and he set out to trace the bills and then draw in every tiny detail. He skipped the part about being produced by the Bureau of Engraving and Printing because “dey didn’t make dem”, and also the part about counterfeiting being punishable by imprisonment and hard labor, but almost nobody ever noticed.



He finally got careless one day and got pinched because he made change for a $50 at a liquor store and the note got wet and the ink started running, and the owner of the establishment had Ninger found and arrested. The judge took leniency on him because of his age and frailty.



To this day, there are collectors of “Ninger Notes” because they’re highly sought after works of art, illegal to possess. The few people who have one don’t want to draw attention, for the Secret Service would come and demand it.



I was thinking about Ninger while I was on the toilet at Panda Express, after having paid $32 for two people to eat dinner yesterday.



It took Mr. Ninger, “Jim the Penman”, weeks of hard work and expensive materials (the paper, mainly) to make a $20 or a $50 (his favorite) or a $100, but it was worth it because those bills were all worth thousands of dollars in today’s money.



In fact, “Jim” probably did the $50 so much because a $100 was an eye watering amount of money back then and hard to explain, and almost certain to be closely inspected even if it would have been appropriate in-context to the transaction.



Ostensibly, the reason the Secret Service would show up is that counterfeiting is a risk to the economy, it destabilizes it, it’s inflationary.



The problem with this is nobody would spend a “Ninger Note”. They’re almost priceless because so few survived the trial and the Secret Service destroying them.



Even if the notes wouldn’t look so out of place today, nobody would ever part with a Ninger $50 that’s worth about $10,000 under-the-table to another art collector, on a meal at Panda Express, which is about all it buys now due to the economic destabilization and inflation of…….“Joe the Biden”.



Set to work producing $100s, it would take Emanuel Ninger 2.684 billion years to produce enough money to fund the federal government for a year, or 5.369 billion years if he did it in $50s, his favorite.

Recent Techrights' Posts

GNU/Linux is Replacing Microsoft Windows. But We Need to Eradicate Microsoft, It's a Hub of Crime.
I have been writing about Microsoft since the 1990s when I was in school
Microsoft Staff Harassing Women, Strangling Women, Telling Women to Kill Themselves and Worse? Not a Problem!
Two women have left Brett Wilson LLP
 
Happy Independence Day to Our American Readers
Maybe tomorrow will be a good opportunity to explain to American people - in terms of concepts, not brands - which tools respect their independence
Slopwatch: Linux Journal, Linuxsecurity, and Google News Getting Even Worse (More Slopfarms Added Which Attack Linux With Bruce-Force SPAM)
Google News is part of the same problem
Links 03/07/2025: More Cuts and Cancellations at Microsoft Revealed
Links for the day
Gemini Links 03/07/2025: Favourite Child and Launching WikiGem
Links for the day
Mystery Surrounding the PCLinuxOS Sites and PCLinuxOS Magazine
Let's hope this isn't something major
People and Companies Do Learn Some Lessons From Their Mistakes (Stubborn Ones Don't)
Brett Wilson LLP is an example of one that would rather drown in mistakes
Links 03/07/2025: 'Hey Hi' Slop Ridiculed Some More and Microsoft's Layoffs Tally for 2025 Reaches About 29,000 in Just 6 Months (Almost 5,000 Per Month)
Links for the day
The Slopfarms Are Losing the Plot (and Google is Propping Up Rogue Sites)
Google is part of the attack on the Web, on information, and on technology
New BetaNews Realises There's No Potential or Future in Slopfarms, Prior Editor Wayne Williams is Back
They realise that slop (so-called "AI") cannot replace humans
Claims That Microsoft Looks for Staff That Works More and Gets Paid Less (or Can Only Code by Grabbing Other People's Code, Under the Guise of "AI")
People can form their own opinion
Richard Stallman Was Right About Reasons Not to Use Microsoft
last updated 2017
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Wednesday, July 02, 2025
IRC logs for Wednesday, July 02, 2025
Gemini Links 03/07/2025: No to Cloudflare and Small Web July
Links for the day
Links 02/07/2025: Deep Microsoft Cuts, Macron Speaks to Putin
Links for the day
Confirmed: Microsoft Shutdowns Today, Not Only Mass Layoffs
"The Initiative is the only studio closure planned today, although some other teams have seen cuts of varying degrees."
Microsoft Windows Nosedives in Switzerland While GNU/Linux Leaps Above 6%
sooner or later they might have to make the move anyway
Anxiety at Microsoft: Many Workers (Maybe Over 10,000) Still Don't Know They're Being Laid Off Just Before US Independence Day
"Has anyone gotten the notification yet?"
Microsoft "Declined to Say How Many People Would be Laid Off," According to Associated Press
Some other prominent publications said they reached out for comment from Microsoft and received none
The X War is Over and the "Wayland People" Lost
People will gravitate towards what works for them
20 Years Since My Thesis
It's still online
GNU/Linux is Replacing Windows in Laptops/Desktops
The world will move on while Windows and Microsoft shrink
Now Comes the Expected Webspam, Framing Microsoft Layoffs as "Hey Hi" Success Story (False Marketing That's Piggybacking the Layoffs)
falsely marketed as "intelligence"
Hungary: Microsoft Windows Sinks to 17% "Market Share"
In many nations in Europe it seems like the era of Windows is coming to an end
Microsoft Media Operatives and Bill Epsteingate-Funded Sites Said Microsoft Lays Off 9,000, But Other Sites Say More (Including 2,300 in Redmond Alone)
We might never know the real number/s (Microsoft will keep the cards close to its chest) until there are leakers or unless there are whistleblowers with hard proof
Microsoft Layoffs in Spain, Portugal Record for GNU/Linux
in Portugal we see GNU/Linux at record levels
GNU/Linux Reaches All-Time High in the United States of America
Windows is trending down
Yes, Microsoft is Again Using Its Favourite Liars (Stenographers) to Seed Fake Layoff Numbers, Much Lower Than What's Really Happening
It is Jordan Novet again, just as we predicted
Will Microsoft Once Again Choose Its Favourite Liar to Spread Lies About Today's Layoffs, Quickly to be Replicated and Spread by Slopfarms?
What lies is Microsoft briefing its media moles to tell today?
"OSS Fetishism" Wins After Ferenc Zsolt Szabó Ousted (Microsoft Mole From Capgemini)
Many people said 2025 would be the "year of Linux on the desktop"
There is Nothing That LLMs Can Offer Honest People
LLMs are a passing fad; they're expensive and offer poor "value" for energy; they usually offer no value at all unless you are a cheater, spammer, and liar
What statCounter Shows Today Helps Explain Microsoft's Helplessness, Mass Layoffs
Since many US journalists are already away on holiday almost nobody will dare ask the difficult questions or give a voice to whistleblowers
Microsoft Gets the Chop in South America
The notion of digital sovereignty gained a lot of popularity
Europe Has an 'Exit'
Let's see what happens the rest of this year
El Presidente Talks, Canada Walks (Away From Windows)
GNU/Linux rising
Cities in France and Germany Move to GNU/Linux and statCounter Detects Big Differences
Will governments lead by example?
Microsoft Lost Its Foothold in Africa
How many of these are "old" Windows machines converted to GNU/Linux? Probably a lot.
Led by Europe, GNU/Linux Makes Big Gains This Month
statCounter started showing new/fresh stats
Links 02/07/2025: Massive Microsoft Layoffs About to Commence, "Tesla's Robotaxi Program Is Failing"
Links for the day
Why the Microsoft People Who Started SLAPPs Against Techrights Could Very Well be Sent Back to Prison
White-collar crime is also a crime
The Company Run by Former (and Last Proper) Red Hat CEO, Promoting Microsoft Mono, Faces Shock as Senior Partner Jailed for 33 Sexual Offenses Including Pedophilia
"As reported by The Oxford Mail in April 2025, the offenses include rape, sexual assault, engaging in non-penetrative activity with a child, and more."
Microsoft Lost 29% of Windows Users, Based on Microsoft, Now Come Massive Layoffs
Microsoft collapse is today
Slopwatch: Google Serves to People Linux Slop and Linux FUD (Made by Bots)
"Slopwatch" finds it difficult to ignore Google's role in encouraging LLM slop
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Tuesday, July 01, 2025
IRC logs for Tuesday, July 01, 2025
"Wayland People" Behave Like the Googles and Microsofts of This World
Published yesterday by Igor Ljubuncic
Gemini Links 02/07/2025: Arch Linux and Fulfillment in Gemini
Links for the day
Links 01/07/2025: "Independence Day in Taiwan", Bounties on Software Patents
Links for the day
What Happens When Your Law Firm is Preoccupied With Harassing and Trying to Extort a Humble Couple in Manchester, Even on Behalf of Violent Microsoft Staff From Another Continent
It's good to see that law firms which operate in bad faith are perishing
Lawyer X, Law Firm X and Elon Musk's X: scandals linked by Old Xaverian
Reprinted with permission from Daniel Pocock
Gemini Links 01/07/2025: Distraction-Free Writing and Hytale Mismanagement
Links for the day
Links 01/07/2025: "Beauty of Blogging" and "Etiquette of Collapse"
Links for the day
Microsoft Uses LLM Slop to Defraud (or Rob) Shareholders
Microsoft is basically defrauding its shareholders by LLM slop
The Web is a Dead End
We need to adopt alternatives
When Words Lose Their Intended Meaning
examples of words that, at least in the technical spheres, don't mean what they sound like
People Who Disagree With You on Technical Matters May or May Not Agree With You on Political Things (But Usually They Do)
What bothers me a great deal is seeing left-leaning people accusing other left-leaning people of being "nazis"
"Too Much Choice" and "Too Many Programming Languages"
What IBM and its apologists aim for was attempted in the 1930s and it failed
Microsoft Lost 400,000,000 Windows Users, According to Microsoft
more people adopt smaller computers and many people replace Windows with GNU/Linux, as they don't really need a new computer
The "Davos Effect": Tarnishing the Reputation of Places Not by Overtourism But by Oligarch Infestation
The last Venice needs is an affiliation with Venetian oligarchs
Half a Year Gone, What's to Come Next
In the second half of 2025 we expect to be done with the Microsoft SLAPPs
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Monday, June 30, 2025
IRC logs for Monday, June 30, 2025
People at the Very Top of Microsoft Know How Bad Things Really Are
There's no product that can replace the former profitability of Windows licensing and stuff that went on top of Windows
Gemini Links 01/07/2025: Mid Year and a Tour of Old Languages
Links for the day