Bonum Certa Men Certa

Q2 Midterm Weather Forecast for EPOnia, Part 1: Urgent Shitstorm Alert

Guest post

Shitstorm coming



Summary: Experts at the European Patent Office's (EPO) weather observation station have just issued an urgent alert warning about a major shitstorm looming on the horizon

Experts at the EPOnia weather observation station have just issued an urgent alert warning about a major shitstorm looming on the horizon. There are signs that a routine tendering procedure is about to turn into Operation Charlie Foxtrot for Team Campinos.



"There are signs that a routine tendering procedure is about to turn into Operation Charlie Foxtrot for Team Campinos."The first signs of the predicted shitstorm were noticed a few weeks ago when document CA/F 10/19 was released on 17 April in the middle of a "slow news” month in EPOnia when most people were already off enjoying the Easter break or getting ready to go on leave.

So it wouldn’t be surprising if the contents of CA/F 10/19 have slipped under the radar of most of the EPOnian peasants – or campinos (with a small “c”) as they are known in Portuguese!

"...the contents of CA/F 10/19 have slipped under the radar of most of the EPOnian peasants – or campinos (with a small “c”) as they are known in Portuguese!"At first sight CA/F10/19 is a completely unremarkable document with the rather mundane and prosaic title "Award of Agreement 2019/3055 pursuant to Article 58(1) FinRegs for the provision of Security Services for EPO buildings in Munich".

The document was prepared by the President of the European Patent Office for submission to the EPO's Budget and Finance Committee for decision.

The BFC is due to meet later this month on 21 and 22 May so it is important to be aware that the matter hasn't been finally decided yet.

However, in the normal course of events it can be expected that the BFC will sign off on the decision which will then be officially rubber-stamped by the Administrative Council when it meets on 26 and 27 June. If this happens, insiders are confidently predicting that a major shit-storm could break loose.

A shitstorm brewing



According to informed sources it’s still not too late for Campinos to take preventative action to avert what promises to be a major PR disaster but it's by no means certain that he and his team have sufficient "nous" to react in time.

"...insiders are confidently predicting that a major shit-storm could break loose."Whether or not he realises it, Antonio the Unready is walking towards a PR minefield.

Or to put it another way, he is in great danger of falling victim to unexploded ordnance UXO. This term refers to those "explosive remnants of war" that lurk beneath the surface or in the undergrowth until they surface by chance causing mayhem and disruption as the bomb-disposal experts quite literally try to "defuse" the situation.

An unexploded bomb



It has to be admitted that there are no overt signs of potentially explosive material in CA/F 10/19 but appearances can be deceptive.

This document reports in dry-as-dust technocratic language on the outcome of a tender procedure for the provision of security services for the EPO’s Munich buildings.

The current contract with a local Munich-based company Bewachungsdienst Dipl.-Kfm. Helmut EHRL GmbH is due to expire on 30 September 2019.

"Subject to extension over a total of five years, this contract has a potential value of close to EUR 30 million."During the bidding procedure for the new contract, EHRL offered the highest price, whereas a rival bidder going under the name of Kötter SE & Co. KG Security offered the second lowest price out of the 5 contenders considered technically capable and also scored the second best in the technical evaluation with the best references.

And so CA/F 10/19 informs us that it is proposed to award the new contract to Kötter. Subject to extension over a total of five years, this contract has a potential value of close to EUR 30 million.

Viewed through the eyes of a technocrat like Campinos, the choice of Kötter as the most "competitive" bidder undoubtedly makes perfect sense.

The price is right and what else counts in today's fact-moving globalised world? So far so good. It all seems to be just another non-story.

"But in the enigmatic looking-glass world of EPOnia the real story is often buried beneath the surface and it is necessary to dig down deeper to get to it."In fact, you can almost hear Team Campinos shouting from the sidelines: "Move along now folks, nothing to see here..."

But in the enigmatic looking-glass world of EPOnia the real story is often buried beneath the surface and it is necessary to dig down deeper to get to it.

In Part 2 we will take a closer look at the Kötter Group.

Recent Techrights' Posts

Dr. Andy Farnell on Why Calling Slop or Chaff "Hey Hi" (AI) Harm Us All, Except for "Ten or Twenty Rich Industrialists"
"words to avoid"
Internet Trolls Likely Trying to Distract From the Demise of IBM, Problems With Red Hat
there seems to be trolling online aimed at suppressing discussion
Debian Upgrade Coming Up (Soon)
Yesterday we contacted the datacentre staff about it
Getting Aggressive Suggestive of Loss - Part III - Threats From Burner Accounts Formally Treated as a Crime
Countries that cannot preserve freedom from self-censorship are countries where free press ultimately cannot prevail
24/7 Wall St. Editor-In-Chief and CEO Calls IBM Is "America’s Worst Big Tech Company", Talent is Leaving, Supposedly Strategic Units Culled
21 hours ago by Douglas A. McIntyre
IBM's Debt Increased Over $5 Billion in 3 Months While IBM Laid Off Many in Europe, US, Confluent, HashiCorp, and Red Hat
An increase of $5,000,000,000+ in debt in just 3 months!
 
Corporate Media Did Not Specify What Microsoft Means by "Buyouts" (Layoffs), It May Be Hardly Different From Severance
Time will tell, but investigative journalism hardly exists anymore, so we won't hold our breath
The Corrupt Lecture the Non-Corrupt - Part V - "Diversity" and "Inclusion" at EPO Means Sleeping With Sister of "Cocaine Communication Manager" and Making Them Millionaires
Remember that top applicants or key stakeholders of the EPO are already complaining about a lack of quality
Links 25/04/2026: Fake GAFAM Valuations (Gripping the Market Based on False Accounting), "Evidence Isn't Just for Research", and "Putin Defends Mobile Internet Outages"
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Friday, April 24, 2026
IRC logs for Friday, April 24, 2026
Gemini Links 25/04/2026: 3.4k+ Capsules, Microsoft Layoffs, Call for Nuclear Disarmament, "Internet is Sad and Lonely"
Links for the day
Links 24/04/2026: Zelenskyy Says Ukraine's War Position "Most Stable", Samsung Workers on Strike Due to Pay
Links for the day
Recent Happenings at IBM Reaffirm Rumours About the CEO; He Might be Resigning (or Pushed Out) Soon
If the rumours are true (no, we did not check those tax records for ourselves), it's not unthinkable that IBM is already doing what Apple did months ago
Gemini Links 24/04/2026: Public Reticulum Gateway Node, Smol Computers, and Old E-mail
Links for the day
Links 24/04/2026: Intel Abandoning Computer Freedom (Even Further), Iran Reports That American Software and Hardware Remotely Sabotaged/Hijacked During War
Links for the day
The Great Wonders of Slop "Efficiency"
Thankfully nothing was lost in the transmission and lots of work (datacentre emissions) got "done"
IBMers Expect Another Giant Wave of Layoffs, Talk (and Sing) About the PIPs
The media won't be covering the key facts
Drama at the European Patent Office (EPO) This Week
We'll be covering the EPO quite a lot this weekend and next week
As We Predicted, Francophonie Countries in the EU and Outside the EU Dumping Microsoft for National Security Reasons
We expected Belgium or some other Francophonie place to do so next
Even to Microsoft Insiders It Seems Like XBox Has Already Died or Surrendered to the Japanese Companies
Now the Microsoft layoffs are evident for people to see
EPO Cocainegate Escalates - Part VI - The Strikes Go On and On (Major Strike Today)
We'll be covering this later today in relation to what the Office dubs "ethics"
Absolutely Terrible Journalism About Microsoft Layoffs This Week
7 hours ago by Leila Sheridan
SLAPP Censorship - Part 56 Out of 200: 5RB and Brett Wilson LLP's Copy-Paste Machination for Garrett and Graveley
Here is another straightforward example of their junior barrister overusing copy-paste on his Mac
Getting Aggressive Suggestive of Loss - Part II - Lawyers Are Not "Hired Guns" (and Should Never Act Like Ones)
The matter is being investigated
Nadella is Killing Microsoft. Slop Kills It Even Faster.
A decade from now we'll look back at slop like we look back at skateboards
Huge Microsoft Layoffs Coming Shortly (With Financial Report)
There will be lots of slop layoffs. Be ready. It's a bubble.
Gemini Links 24/04/2026: Data Breaches and Unofficial Gemini Protocol Specification Archive
Links for the day
Microsoft Offers About 10,000 of Its Senior American (Read: Expensive) Workers to be Laid Off
How many slopfarms and media parrots play along?
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Thursday, April 23, 2026
IRC logs for Thursday, April 23, 2026
SLAPP Censorship - Part 55 Out of 200: Strangled Women, Charged for Strangulation, Cannot Find a Job Now (After Microsoft)
merits public awareness and wider scrutiny
Gemini Links 23/04/2026: Spirituality and Detachment, Shoplifting in the UK, and "Introducing Scout, an iOS Native Gemini Client"
Links for the day
Links 23/04/2026: YouTube Age Limits Expanded and 'Secret' Model With Bug-Finding Hype Campaign 'Leaks'
Links for the day
Media Operatives of Microsoft Paint Microsoft Layoffs as Buyouts (Intentionally False Narrative)
Those are mass layoffs disguised as something else
IBM's Stock Has Collapsed Over 10% in One Day, Insiders Explain What's Happening
Today, due to a lack of time, we mostly present an outline of what people say (not IBM-sponsored media hacks with LLM slop)
Getting Aggressive Suggestive of Loss - Part I - Threats Sent From Burner Accounts Since February, Belatedly Reported to British Police
Threats connected to Graveley or Garrett or 5RB or Brett Wilson LLP [...] We're not dealing with a law firm here; we're dealing with the underworld
EPO Cocainegate Escalates - Part V - Where Does the António Campinos 'Family Affair' Go From Here?
Do cocaine in public, get caught, take paid "sick leave", come back to lead Europe's second-largest organisation
Links 23/04/2026: Legal Trouble for Microsoft, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and DMCA Whac-a-Mole
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Wednesday, April 22, 2026
IRC logs for Wednesday, April 22, 2026
Gemini Links 23/04/2026: Sunrise Chasing Season, Going Back to Older Software, New Gemini Client for Mobile Devices
Links for the day