Bonum Certa Men Certa

Book Excerpt from “Barbarians Led by Bill Gates”

Summary: Memorable Microsoft incident, in their own words

Here is one page (among 245 pages) from the book “Barbarians Led by Bill Gates”, written by somewhat of a Microsoft insider.

Slightly disgusted that he had just joined a company [Microsoft] that was shipping defective software, Eller decided to take matters into his own hands. After researching graphics journals and spending nearly two weeks on this complicated problem, Eller finally hacked out a solution and wrote the new flood-fill algorithm. Though it was painfully slow and crawled across the screen, it did enable BASIC to correctly flood-fill.

Eller called his boss into his office once again. Whitten was less than thrilled. He had authorized the work, but Eller had spent two weeks on the flood-fill, ignoring the translator he was supposed to be writing. Undaunted, Eller set out to let others in on the flaw he had discovered and how he had fixed it. He pulled in any random developer he could find. He even pulled in Chairman Gates, whose office was just down the hall.

"Bill, check this out," Eller said, pointing to his computer screen. "I mean . . . who was the jerk who wrote this brain-dead piece of shit?"

Gates stared at the screen.

"See, now that's what I call a design flaw," Eller said. "Now check out my new version. Pretty cool, eh?"

Gates nodded, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"Does it work with really complicated things?" Gates asked.

"Sure," Eller told him. He proceeded to draw a complicated object and flood-fill it.

"See? It works perfectly."

"Can you prove that this works all the time?"

"Uhh, well umm, kind of," Eller said. "I mean, I know it always works, but I'm a mathematician. The word 'prove' conjures up really ugly ideas."

Gates told Eller his program was nice, then turned and walked back to his office.

After Gates left, Whitten walked into Eller's office. He had heard the entire conversation.

"Do you know who wrote the original flood-fill algorithm?" he said, shaking his head.

"Ahhh, nope," Eller replied. "I don't believe I do." Whitten paused, rubbed his finger on his left temple, and shook his head again.

"Bill wrote it," he said. "Bill was the jerk who wrote this brain-dead piece of shit."


Not so bright after all, eh?

"In my case, I went to the garbage cans at the Computer Science Center and I fished out listings of their operating systems."

--Bill Gates

Comments

Recent Techrights' Posts

2025 Will be Fought and Fraught With LLM Slop or Fake 'Articles' (Former Media/News Sites Turning to Marketing Spam)
The elephant in the room?
Brittany Day Can Rest and Let Microsoft/Chatbots Write Fake 'Articles' About "Linux" This Christmas
Who said people don't work on Christmas? Chatbots or plagiarism-as-a-service work 24/7, every day of the year except during Microsoft downtimes
 
Microsoft Openwashing Stunts Initiative (OSI) is A Vulture in "Open" Clothing
it's quite telling that the OSI isn't protecting the Open Source Definition
Gemini Links 25/12/2024: Reality Bites and Gopher Thanks
Links for the day
Links 26/12/2024: Japan-China Mitigations and Mozambique Prison Escape (1,500 Prisoners)
Links for the day
Links 26/12/2024: Ukraine's Energy Supplies Bombed on Christmas Day, Energy Lines Cut/Disrupted in the Baltic Sea Again
Links for the day
Gemini Links 26/12/2024: Rot Economy, Self-hosted Tinylogs
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Wednesday, December 25, 2024
IRC logs for Wednesday, December 25, 2024
[Meme] Time to Also Investigate Bill Gaetz
Investigation overdue
IBM Has Almost Obliterated or Killed the Entire Fedora Community (Not IBM Staff)
Remaining Fedora insiders are well aware of this, but bringing this up (an "accusation" against IBM) might be a CoC violation
Links 25/12/2024: Fentanylware (TikTok) Scams and "Zelle Scams Lead to $870M Loss"
Links for the day
Links 25/12/2024: Windows TCO Brought to SSH, Terence Eden 'Retires'
Links for the day
Links 25/12/2024: Latest Report Front Microsoft Splinter Group, War Updates
Links for the day
Links 25/12/2024: Hong Kong Attacks Activists During Holidays, Xerox to Buy Lexmark
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Tuesday, December 24, 2024
IRC logs for Tuesday, December 24, 2024
Gemini Links 25/12/2024: Open Source Social and No Search
Links for the day
Brittany Day Connects Windows Ransomware to "Linux" Using Microsoft LLMs (FUD Galore, Zero Effort, No Accountability)
FUD and misinformation made by Microsoft LLMs again?
Links 24/12/2024: Labour Strikes and TikTok Scrambling to Prop Up Radical Politicians That Would Protect TikTok
Links for the day
Where the Population is Controlled by Skinnerboxes Inside People's Pockets (or Purses)
A very small fraction of mobile users practise or exercise freedom/control over the skinnerbox
[Meme] Coin-Operated Publishers (Gaming the Message, Buying the Narrative)
Advertise (sponsor) to 'play'
Advertisers and Their Covert Impact on Publications' Output (or Writers' Topics of Choice, as Assigned or Approved by Editors)
It cannot be trivially denied that sponsorship in the form of "advertising" impacts where publishers go (or don't go, won't go)
Terrible Year for Microsoft Windows in Cyprus
down from 86% to 72% since January
[Meme] How to Kill Unions (Staff on Shoestring Budget Cannot Afford Lawyers)
What next for the EPO? "Gig economy"?
The EPO's Staff Union (SUEPO) Takes Legal Action to Rectify the Decrease in Wages (Lessening of Purchasing Power)
here is what the union published
Gemini Links 24/12/2024: Deedum Gemini Client Gets Colour Support, Advent of Code 2024
Links for the day
Microsoft Windows Slides to New Lows in Colombia
Now Windows is at an all-time low
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Monday, December 23, 2024
IRC logs for Monday, December 23, 2024