Bonum Certa Men Certa

More Tall Tales From EPOnia - A Little Apéritif to Whet the Appetite…

Guest post

Sozzled



Summary: The resident of the EPO pub is said to have thrown yet another major tantrum (like the former resident)

The EPOnian grapevine is buzzing with speculation about a recent incident of “disorderly conduct” at Munich Airport reportedly involving a VIP passenger who was “in his cups”. As so often happens in the enigmatic realm of EPOnia (European Patent Office), the facts are thin on the ground and rumours are rife. But investigations are continuing and it should not be long before more details emerge...



"Take-off had been scheduled for 14:40 but was delayed until 15:31."During a recent routine data-gathering exercise, a member of the EPOnia plane-spotting club noticed that last Monday, 27 May, the afternoon flight LH 2288 from Munich to Brussels was delayed for almost an hour. Take-off had been scheduled for 14:40 but was delayed until 15:31.

LH2288 delay



Nobody was inclined to give the matter a second thought until a curious Google Cache explorer stumbled across the following entry from an online aviation forum.

Copy of Google Cache



The forum link was active on 27 May 2019 but it seems to have disappeared in the meantime.

A missing link



The identity of the VIP who caused the delay in the flight schedule has not yet been officially revealed.

For the moment there are only unconfirmed reports that his arrival was accompanied by a loud royal fanfare and shouts of “Make way for António the Unsteady!” as he entered the plane.

This was reportedly followed by an rousing rendition of the popular Bavarian beer-hall song “Ein Prosit der Gemütlichkeit” in what some have described as a distinctly Mediterranean accent...

António the unsteady



The exact details of what happened when the police arrived on the scene are still not known but there have been unconfirmed reports of exchanges along the lines of:

“What do you mean drunk? I am as jober as a sudge! Or at least as sound of mind as one of those inmates out in Haar...”

Sharp fragments of legal jargon such as “diplomatic immunity” are also reported to have been thrown about but the slurred and incoherent delivery made it difficult for the bemused audience to follow the arguments being presented.

As he was escorted off the plane by the police some bystanders claim to have heard the distressed VIP shout “Unhand me, you varlet! You know not whom you touch!"

It’s hardly surprising that the EPO rumour-mill has gone into overdrive with speculation about the nature of the unnamed VIP’s aborted mission to Brussels.

Suggestions that he may have had a date for a “liquid lunch” with Jean-Claude Drunker have been doing the rounds but as yet there is no confirmation of this.

Juncker drunk
No comment from the EU press office in Brussels



Other insiders have dismissed the whole affair as a cheap PR stunt, which went pear-shaped. According to this theory, the aim of the exercise was to rebrand a rather passive “very silent cricket” as more assertive “drunken grasshopper”.

EPO grasshopper



The idea was to tank him up with “Dutch courage” so that he could reinvent himself as a “tough guy” able to face down the officious “jobsworth” cabin crew on a Lufthansa flight.

EPO grasshopper



If this really was the plan, then it turned out to be a case of “many a slip ‘twixt cup and lip” as his PR advisors failed to reckon with the strong arm of the Bavarian airport constabulary.

Efforts to get to the bottom of the matter are continuing and all plausible lines of investigation are being pursued. A detailed report is in the pipeline so stay tuned for more shortly.

Editor's note: Campinos is like Battistelli in a lot of ways (not just their nationality), so this hypothesis is very plausible

Recent Techrights' Posts

Coming Soon: Microsoft Fake Results, Mass Layoffs, and Silence About All the People Microsoft Pressured to "Quit" (So That They Don't Get Counted as Layoffs)
there will be more mass layoffs
Speed of GNU/Linux
The media seldom speaks of the dangers of "proprietary software"
Proprietary Windows Versus "Linux" News (Trying to Keep People on Windows, Never Exploring GNU/Linux)
Good editors know better how to recognise threats and not give them lip service
Ensuring That Every Computer User Anywhere in the World Can Take Control of All His or Her Computers
We must fight the people who attack general-purpose computing, in particular those who push this agenda very aggressively inside Linux
Gemini Links 28/04/2025: Autism and Structural Navigation
Links for the day
What Happened to the Open Source Initiative (OSI) Elections: The Purge, the Cover-up, and the Witch-hunts
OSI has gone "full Microsoft"
 
China is Already Culling GAFAM (Not Just Microsoft Windows)
OS monoculture or "OS hegemony" may be coming to an end
The "Telephone Operating System in the Vatican" is 95 Years Old, Vatican Moved to GNU/Linux
Maybe Microsoft is down to zero already
If Tesla Shares (and Alleged Value) Fell 55% (From $489 to $222) in a Few Months Maybe It's Not Worth Anything At All (It's Just Gambling)
Tesla swasticars have turned from a "status symbol" into a "public embarrassment" and cause for casual humiliation
Chromebooks' Adoption in Sweden No Longer Depends on Schools
School breaks are when classrooms are shut
No, IBM is Not Investing $150 Billion in the US and It Doesn't Even Have That Kind of Money
Here we go again... media as a vehicle of lobbying and misinformation
Leak: The EPO's General Consultative Committee (GCC) Does Not Consult Staff on Crucial Matters and Bypasses the Administrative Council (AC) to Do Illegal Things
violations against the EPO's very staff
New Leaks Coming Soon, We Maintain 100% Record of Successful Resistance to Censorship
We won't be told what we can and cannot say (especially when it's true)
Central African Republic (CAR): Vista 11 is Only ~0.2% Market Share
99.8% to go!
BSD and GNU/Linux Replaced Microsoft in Secure Servers, All Microsoft Has Left is LLM Slop for Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt (FUD)
the FUD machine never rests
Gemini Links 28/04/2025: A Simple Task Tracking and Auto-Prioritization Tool and Other Programs
Links for the day
Links 28/04/2025: Canada's Election, Pakistan-India Conflict
Links for the day
Glue Inside Your Pizza (or Why People Will Get Fed Up With Slop)
People are given "answers" from non-intelligence word dumpsters
Links 28/04/2025: Cyberattacks Happening, Chatbots Disappointing, and "Free Speech Under Fire"
Links for the day
Phone Adoption Very Low in Vatican, Windows Usage Fell Nonetheless
Even in places where people still use desktops/laptops most of the time (and have access to these) Windows is gradually losing ground
GNU/Linux 9% in Cuba, Vista 11 Waning, Android Dominant
Microsoft has pretty much lost Cuba
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Sunday, April 27, 2025
IRC logs for Sunday, April 27, 2025
In 24 Countries Observed by statCounter Vista 11 is Still Less Than a Quarter of Windows Users Despite All Other Versions Being 'Expired'
They ought to move to GNU/Linux
Links 27/04/2025: Pope Goodbyes, "Politics of Fear", Slop Redux and More Google Shutdowns (Google Debt Had Grown This Year)
Links for the day
Links 27/04/2025: Serenity Dialectics, Hockey Jersey Ethics, and More
Links for the day
Links 27/04/2025: Death of Nest Thermostats, Death of Metaverse
Links for the day
Links 27/04/2025: Projects Workflow and Discovering Technology
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Saturday, April 26, 2025
IRC logs for Saturday, April 26, 2025
Microsoft Isn't on the Map in USSR
To them, it's either Google or Yandex
In Central America Windows Became a Small Force
These are countries where Windows used to have well over 95% of the "market"
What's Very Vexing to GAFAM, EPO and Others Is That It's Incredibly Hard to Censor Us (and Nobody Ever Successfully Did That Before)
resist, do not capitulate
Site May be Even Faster Now
It basically takes less than a tenth of a second to serve the page
Receiving SLAPPs and Collecting Them Like Trophies (the SLAPPs Always Fail)
People who file lawsuits bring even more attention to themselves (or to embarrassing statements about them)
Year of GNU/Linux on the Laptop?
It's not happening only in Lenovo
What People Must Understand About the Open Source Initiative (OSI)
some facts about the Open Source Initiative (OSI)
Many of the Scandals Are Interconnected (Overlapping People and Corporations)
We're only getting started
More Copyright Lawsuits Against LLM Slop Providers and Suppliers of LLM Slopfarms Would Benefit Society
It's not just bad for the Web and for society; it's also legally dangerous
Links 26/04/2025: General Assassinated in the Town of Balashikha, US Promoting Seafloor Mining
Links for the day
Links 26/04/2025: Facebook Layoffs Again, Remembering What's Real, and Say No to Mass Surveillance
Links for the day
Links 26/04/2025: NOAA Budget Cuts and "Dog Days Ahead"
Links for the day
In defence of JD Vance, death of Pope Francis
Reprinted with permission from Daniel Pocock
Three Years in Prison for Disney Employee’s ‘Menu Hacking’: The Economic Fallout of Digital Menus
Reprinted with permission from Ryan Farmer
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Friday, April 25, 2025
IRC logs for Friday, April 25, 2025