Bonum Certa Men Certa

European Law Firms Are Marketing Illegal Software Patents Using Meaningless Buzzwords

HEY HI and software developers



Summary: The promotion of software patents in Europe has become so shallow that it boils down to nothing but dumb PR; lawyers speak like children, infatuated by infantile, misused and misapplied nonsense like "HEY HI" (AI) and "Fintech" instead of something with technical substance

THE MANAGEMENT of the European Patent Office (EPO) -- from Brimelow to Campinos (and the one in the middle) -- loves to pretend that it is OK to grant patents on algorithms. Similarly, Iancu at the USPTO pretends he can ignore 35 U.S.C. €§ 101 by cherry-picking court cases. These are issues we've long covered here. It's nothing new. At the end what matters is the courts' determination, albeit not every party -- especially small defendant (party being accused) -- can afford a court battle, so many would settle over assertion of totally bogus software patents. Again, this is hardly a new problem. So it is very important to ensure such patents never get granted in the first place.



"Before the weekend we also saw Jones Day's Stefan Schneider, Jakob Guhn, Emily J. Tait, Andrea Weiss Jeffries and Andreas Holzwarth-Rochford leveraging "HEY HI" (AI), a nonsensical and reborn buzzword, to promote illegal patents on software."The EPO has been doing lots of advocacy of illegal software patents this month; it's really blatant and routine, though they've come up with a bunch of new buzzwords and fluff. Now they add "digi" to everything. Before the weekend we also saw Jones Day's Stefan Schneider, Jakob Guhn, Emily J. Tait, Andrea Weiss Jeffries and Andreas Holzwarth-Rochford leveraging "HEY HI" (AI), a nonsensical and reborn buzzword, to promote illegal patents on software. Jones Day is a very large law firm, so reposing its nonsense ("IP Protection of Artificial Intelligence in Europe") in other sites like Lexology is probably pocket change to them. Here's what they wrote:

Business value may therefore be found in protecting (i) AI models and/or algorithms; (ii) software in which the models/algorithmsare embedded; (iii) training, evaluation and/or optimization strategies; (iv) training data; and (v) result data (i.e.work product). IP protection may be sought for all or a subset of these potential assets.

While copyright essentially only protects source code written by a programmer, further IP rights suitable for other aspects of an AI innovation are discussed below.


Notice how shamelessly they admit that these are "algorithms" and they're taking about Europe specifically.

Meanwhile, in Poland, another article emerged with another buzzword. It speaks of "intellectual property protection" (propaganda terms) and Oliwia Czarnocka (JWP Patent & Trademark Attorneys) relies on worthless buzzwords like "Fintech" to advance patents on software in Europe. To quote a portion:

Patents provide a mechanism for excluding other businesses from creating, using and selling patented technologies. This allows businesses to gain or maintain market share and protect the investments made into research and development. Patents ensure a competitive advantage and are used as a tool in negotiations.

Each development strategy should take into account whether patent protection is available for innovations in basic technologies. Competitors may have their own patents or be undergoing patent proceedings (in such cases we suggest carrying out a patent search). Obtaining patent protection is a lengthy and costly process in comparison with other intellectual property rights. However, there are international agreements which allow postponing expenses but guarantee early commencement of protection for important innovations. Considering Fintech's rapid pace of development, obtaining early protection is crucial due to the nature of the patent system, in which the date of filing the application has great significance.


This is typical waffle from law firms trying to persuade potential/prospective clients to pursue patents court would reject anyway.

What do they care?

"Not my department!"

"This is typical waffle from law firms trying to persuade potential/prospective clients to pursue patents court would reject anyway."We'd like to remind readers that we do not oppose patents but the cheapening of patents, or the sick mindset which says, "let's patent anything in existence!"

This relies on the ludicrous philosophy that society would be better off with everything as a monopoly. Team UPC is looking to extend these monopolies globally, even past language and border barriers.

The other day we saw this press release [1, 2] that said: "Medicortex Finland Oy, an innovative biopharmaceutical company focused on the development of diagnostics and drug treatment for mild traumatic brain injury (TBI), today announced that the European Patent Office (EPO) has issued a patent covering company’s new diagnostic kit technology."

"We need a policy that favours science and scientists, not law firms."Those are physical diagnostic kits "for detection of concussion and mild traumatic brain injury from urine or saliva."

Those patents aren't on algorithms and are based on biomarkers; we aren't against European Patents but against the unacceptable status quo, where the EPC is violated with impunity and while Europe experiences a plague the EPO looks to justify those violations. The above law firms are fully on board as it would mean more income for them (and we know at whose expense). We need a policy that favours science and scientists, not law firms.

Recent Techrights' Posts

Mass Layoffs at IBM, But Mostly in Secret (PIPs and 'Voluntary' Redundancies)
Gerstner laid off a record number of people; Krishna tries to find 'innovative' new ways to cause workers to leave
Secret Layoffs at Microsoft, Apparently More Sites Will Shut Down Entirely
vindicates us and serves to affirm what we've said for over a month
SLAPP Censorship - Part 156 Out of 200: Brett Wilson LLP Becoming Wilson FC
Now acting almost like one-person shop (lots of staff has fled this past year)
 
Sources-First Publication
Thank you for keeping us on track
Ubuntu is Not Linux
I was one of the first users of Ubuntu
Links 21/08/2026: Outrage Over Politicians Who Support Slop-Feeding Data Centres, "America Is About to Get More Expensive"
Links for the day
Gemini Links 21/08/2026: Rain Coming Back and "Small Internet"
Links for the day
Slop-ware: Nobody Knows What Code Goes Into Linux and Most Developers Cannot Understand the Rust Code (Even If They Tried)
So nobody is in charge
The Slop Pyramid Scheme (Not Boon!) Isn't Good for GNU/Linux, Even If the Plagiarism Engines (Framed as "Training" or "Intelligence") Almost Always Run GNU/Linux
We need the slop pop - we need the bubble to pop
North America: GNU/Linux Measured at 13%-15% Every Night
many (north) Americans use GNU/Linux at home and are using it to access the Web in the small hours of the morning
Links 21/08/2026: "Silicon Valley’s Billionaire Cults Are Coming for Democracy" and "Who’s Raking it in as the National Debt Explodes?"
Links for the day
SLAPP Censorship - Part 157 Out of 200: What is a 'Defamation Troll'?
"Defamation Mill" also
Northern Europe Leads the Pack in Abandoning Windows After Threats Made to Greenland (Says Clownflare Data)
Clownflare has a vast trove of data, so it cannot be easily dismissed as pure nonsense
Clownflare: In Past 12 Months Microsoft Windows Fell From ~80% to ~75% on Desktops/Laptops in Asia
Microsoft is deep in debt
The State of Slopfarms About "Linux" in August 2026
The Web needs serious cleanup, which curation can help deliver
IBM Offers Workers Some Money to Fire Themselves, It's Called "Next Step" and It's Allegedly 'Extended' (Not Enough Fools Have Fired Themselves)
Will IBM executives - including the CEO - ever be held accountable?
£5 Million Unsolicited/Undisclosed Bribes and What That Means to British Politics
It still remains unknown (disclosure denied) who helps fund the £1 million lawfare against us
[Satire] Pocock, Binface & nobodies vs Farage: defamation before UK High Court
Reprinted with permission from Daniel Pocock
The IBM Censorship Team, PIPs (Silent Layoffs) in IBM Europe
There seem to be many de facto layoffs going on at IBM right there
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Thursday, August 20, 2026
IRC logs for Thursday, August 20, 2026
Gemini Links 21/08/2026: "Ensmallening the BigWeb", "Rust Dependencies"
Links for the day
Links 20/08/2026: 'Linux' Foundation Promoting Slop Hype for Money (Hype as a Service), Malaysia’s Exports Jump 38% Year-on-Year
Links for the day
Gemini Links 20/08/2026: A "Break From Routine" and "Modem Was the Problem"
Links for the day
Clownflare Reckons GNU/Linux is on Almost 1 in 10 Laptops/Desktops in Western Europe
Western Europe and China are leaving more of GAFAM behind them
Looking Ahead at September
Rianne and I look forward to a productive September
Links 20/08/2026: Facebook "Ran Ads for an App That Promised to Nudify Female Politicians" and Facebook Faces "Social [Control] Media Addiction Trial"
Links for the day
Clownflare Sees GNU/Linux at 16% Market Share on Desktops/Laptops in Tajikistan
in Tajikistan it seems like adoption of GNU/Linux is exceptionally high, based on a very large data set associated with Web access
The Demise of Social Control Media Continues
Entering (anew) social control media in 2026 seems foolish
SLAPP Censorship - Part 155 Out of 200: Throwing Stones in Houses Made of Glass
character-assassination-as-a-service
Gemini Links 20/08/2026: Planners, Pantsing, Vinylyssee
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Wednesday, August 19, 2026
IRC logs for Wednesday, August 19, 2026
Gemini Links 19/08/2026: "Big Boost in Autonomy" and "Answer of E-Mail"
Links for the day
Firefox in Trouble in the US, Down to Lowest Level in 20+ Years
more sites will stop or intentionally neglect Firefox support
Clownflare: More Than 1 in 5 Laptops or Desktops in El Salvador Run GNU/Linux or ChromeOS
Clownflare Radar reckons it's more like 20%+ now
SLAPP Censorship - Part 154 Out of 200: Computer-Generated Legal Filings From Men Who Are Salaried by Mass Plagiarism Companies in Another Continent (America)
This isn't the behaviour of a moral person but of some sort of "crypto bro" or "slop bro"
Fired by IBM for Medical Leave, Rampant Censorship of IBM Critics Explained
We've already caught and showed many cases where thelayoff.com deleted comments that were not even remotely racist
Links 19/08/2026: First Amendment Under Fire by White House of Cards, "Universities Were Forced to Pay Up" for Not Censoring
Links for the day
Gemini Links 19/08/2026: What Friendship Means, Sm0lNet/SmolNet, and New Feeds
Links for the day
Omarchy is Already Dying
Same as the life cycle of slopfarms
No, WSL (Windows With Fake 'Linux') Isn't Growing Faster Than Ubuntu, This Was Disinformation Spread by a Microsoft Propaganda Site, Then Spread by Slopfarms
Be sceptical; Microsoft is truly desperate for anti-Linux spin right now, seeing that Windows is in a freefall
Microsoft's Mass Layoffs Impact the Ability to Run Microsoft
Can Microsoft still run Microsoft?
Microsoft's Active Directory ("AD") and "Entra" Are National Security Threats
Even the US government concluded Microsoft could not be trusted for security; it issued a formal report about it in April 2024
Instant Impact: GNU/Linux Skyrockets to 10% in China Days After Policy Changes
Let's see what the 'aftermath' looks like by year's end
Links 19/08/2026: Timothy James King (AmigaDOS) Dies, GitHub Goes Offline, Finland Wants to Shun Social Control Media
Links for the day
Slop's Achilles Heel: It Increases the Workload, Not Just Costs
Set aside its inability to scale well
Improving techrights.org
Technical debt (like 17 years with WordPress) is something that's better to address early, not later
Mass Layoffs at Dropbox, Blame the Debt, Not Slop Hype
The debt of Dropbox Inc., which isn't an imaginary (estimated) thing, is over 4 billion dollars
Microsoft is 'Angel of Death' to Developers (Even Its Own), 'Voluntary' Layoffs Happening Again
From what we are hearing and reading, there are 'voluntary' layoffs again
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Tuesday, August 18, 2026
IRC logs for Tuesday, August 18, 2026
Gemini Links 19/08/2026: Shirts, Handwriting, and Fights in Geminispace
Links for the day