Bonum Certa Men Certa

European Law Firms Are Marketing Illegal Software Patents Using Meaningless Buzzwords

HEY HI and software developers



Summary: The promotion of software patents in Europe has become so shallow that it boils down to nothing but dumb PR; lawyers speak like children, infatuated by infantile, misused and misapplied nonsense like "HEY HI" (AI) and "Fintech" instead of something with technical substance

THE MANAGEMENT of the European Patent Office (EPO) -- from Brimelow to Campinos (and the one in the middle) -- loves to pretend that it is OK to grant patents on algorithms. Similarly, Iancu at the USPTO pretends he can ignore 35 U.S.C. €§ 101 by cherry-picking court cases. These are issues we've long covered here. It's nothing new. At the end what matters is the courts' determination, albeit not every party -- especially small defendant (party being accused) -- can afford a court battle, so many would settle over assertion of totally bogus software patents. Again, this is hardly a new problem. So it is very important to ensure such patents never get granted in the first place.



"Before the weekend we also saw Jones Day's Stefan Schneider, Jakob Guhn, Emily J. Tait, Andrea Weiss Jeffries and Andreas Holzwarth-Rochford leveraging "HEY HI" (AI), a nonsensical and reborn buzzword, to promote illegal patents on software."The EPO has been doing lots of advocacy of illegal software patents this month; it's really blatant and routine, though they've come up with a bunch of new buzzwords and fluff. Now they add "digi" to everything. Before the weekend we also saw Jones Day's Stefan Schneider, Jakob Guhn, Emily J. Tait, Andrea Weiss Jeffries and Andreas Holzwarth-Rochford leveraging "HEY HI" (AI), a nonsensical and reborn buzzword, to promote illegal patents on software. Jones Day is a very large law firm, so reposing its nonsense ("IP Protection of Artificial Intelligence in Europe") in other sites like Lexology is probably pocket change to them. Here's what they wrote:

Business value may therefore be found in protecting (i) AI models and/or algorithms; (ii) software in which the models/algorithmsare embedded; (iii) training, evaluation and/or optimization strategies; (iv) training data; and (v) result data (i.e.work product). IP protection may be sought for all or a subset of these potential assets.

While copyright essentially only protects source code written by a programmer, further IP rights suitable for other aspects of an AI innovation are discussed below.


Notice how shamelessly they admit that these are "algorithms" and they're taking about Europe specifically.

Meanwhile, in Poland, another article emerged with another buzzword. It speaks of "intellectual property protection" (propaganda terms) and Oliwia Czarnocka (JWP Patent & Trademark Attorneys) relies on worthless buzzwords like "Fintech" to advance patents on software in Europe. To quote a portion:

Patents provide a mechanism for excluding other businesses from creating, using and selling patented technologies. This allows businesses to gain or maintain market share and protect the investments made into research and development. Patents ensure a competitive advantage and are used as a tool in negotiations.

Each development strategy should take into account whether patent protection is available for innovations in basic technologies. Competitors may have their own patents or be undergoing patent proceedings (in such cases we suggest carrying out a patent search). Obtaining patent protection is a lengthy and costly process in comparison with other intellectual property rights. However, there are international agreements which allow postponing expenses but guarantee early commencement of protection for important innovations. Considering Fintech's rapid pace of development, obtaining early protection is crucial due to the nature of the patent system, in which the date of filing the application has great significance.


This is typical waffle from law firms trying to persuade potential/prospective clients to pursue patents court would reject anyway.

What do they care?

"Not my department!"

"This is typical waffle from law firms trying to persuade potential/prospective clients to pursue patents court would reject anyway."We'd like to remind readers that we do not oppose patents but the cheapening of patents, or the sick mindset which says, "let's patent anything in existence!"

This relies on the ludicrous philosophy that society would be better off with everything as a monopoly. Team UPC is looking to extend these monopolies globally, even past language and border barriers.

The other day we saw this press release [1, 2] that said: "Medicortex Finland Oy, an innovative biopharmaceutical company focused on the development of diagnostics and drug treatment for mild traumatic brain injury (TBI), today announced that the European Patent Office (EPO) has issued a patent covering company’s new diagnostic kit technology."

"We need a policy that favours science and scientists, not law firms."Those are physical diagnostic kits "for detection of concussion and mild traumatic brain injury from urine or saliva."

Those patents aren't on algorithms and are based on biomarkers; we aren't against European Patents but against the unacceptable status quo, where the EPC is violated with impunity and while Europe experiences a plague the EPO looks to justify those violations. The above law firms are fully on board as it would mean more income for them (and we know at whose expense). We need a policy that favours science and scientists, not law firms. ⬆

Recent Techrights' Posts

Links 25/10/2026: TMZ Revisits Epstein's Connections to Bill Epsteingate, "Italy Hit by New Cost of Living Protests"
Links for the day
Intercontinental Brigading - Part XIV - Six Years of Learning Irish, But the Real Issue Was Microsoft-controlled 'Secure' (Restricted) Boot
Had I not opposed back doors in Linux, not of this would come about
 
In Reporting, Timing is Everything
If you keep calling people "paedophiles" when you yourself are connected to paedophiles (or are a paedophile), you're attracting a lot of unwanted attention to yourself
Intercontinental Brigading - Part XV - Annualised Consequences for Opposing Microsoft Back Doors in Linux Since 2012
a roundup of what we got from GGG
Links 25/10/2026: Microsoft Layoffs and Cuts, Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva Wins Election
Links for the day
Gemini Links 26/10/2026: Brazilian Politics and Leaving Bear Blog
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Sunday, October 25, 2026
IRC logs for Sunday, October 25, 2026
Another Form of Microsoft Silent Layoffs: Workers That 'Expire'
When the media becomes a lapdog, not a watchdog, false narratives gain traction
Carte Blanche for GPL Violations 4 Days Ago (by Torvalds)
Slop disclosure is no longer required for the Linux Kernel
There Are No Women That Are Kernel Developers Sent by Corporations Which Claim to Champion Diversity
As noted the other day
Sites with "Linux" in Their Name Cannot Slop and Retain Readers
if they write about "linux "(or "Linux") using LLMs they will be caught, then shunned
At Microsoft, the Silent Layoffs Impact Executives Also
Microsoft hid the real story of Helen Chiang
Linus Torvalds Defected to Enshittification
Linus Torvalds is betraying a generation of high(er) standards
Microsoft’s Spin About Mass Layoffs and Shutdowns: They "Never Should Have Existed"
Microsoft-sponsored spin
It's Slop
Maybe we'll exclude It's Slop from our curation. It's a Linux Foundation outpost of sorts, an apologist of sloppy code and plagiarism.
Gemini Links 25/10/2026: Moana (2026) and OpenBSD Updates
Links for the day
The Netherlands Fast to Adopt GNU/Linux, "Market Share" Rises to Two-Digit Value (on Desktops/Laptops)
It peaked at around 20% yesterday
DST Still Needs to Get Abolished
Get rid of DST, efficiency will improve and systems will become more reliable
PHP2Shell as Paid-for FUD Campaign (Intended to Help Sell Slop and Fake "Market Value" of Slop Pushers)
PHP2Shell considered overhyped [...] Remember all the paid-for hype regarding Mythos? What happened to all that?
Microsoft Sort of Tried to Sell XBox Piecewise (Offloading Microsoft)
XBox is in a morbid state
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Saturday, October 24, 2026
IRC logs for Saturday, October 24, 2026
Gemini Links 24/10/2026: Arch Linux Journey and Amin Bandali's Priorities
Links for the day
Bluewashing as a Form of Silent Layoffs
IBM will continue to shed off loads of workers while its debt climbs
Turning 20 in 2 Weeks and Upcoming Network Maintenance
That ought not interrupt our anniversary
Microsoft Shutdowns Accelerating, More Shutdowns Revealed (Not Connected to Gaming)
Silent layoffs disguised as "voluntary" "exits"
Links 24/10/2026: Microsoft Blackmail and Lingering Unrest in France:
Links for the day
Gemini Links 24/10/2026: From Bendigo to Kerang, Enshittification of Radio and Music in the UK
Links for the day
Red Hat Sinks With the Blue (IBM) Ship
As IBM's debt continues to soar so do the silent layoffs
Linux is Not Controlled by Linus (Torvalds)
Torvalds has become "90% marketing hype"
The "No Pain No Gain" Expectations in Publishing
Sometimes truth hurts; but that does not mean it mustn't be told
Intercontinental Brigading - Part XIII - Censorship by All Means Available in a Continent So Far Away, as 'Secure' (Restricted, Restriction by Microsoft) Boot Has a Crisis of Legitimacy
it's about America controlling sites and computers everywhere
Links 24/10/2026: Oligarchs Already Buy US Elections, GAFAM Front Group "EFF" Speaks of "Vulnerability Apocalypse"
Links for the day
Gemini Links 24/10/2026: Automobile Differential Tire Movement, Samsung Washer Woe, and Slop Scraping
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Friday, October 23, 2026
IRC logs for Friday, October 23, 2026