Bonum Certa Men Certa

Humour: What If OpenSUSE 10.3 Was Announced Jointly by Novell and Microsoft?

Sellout



Factual details about the new release will come on Saturday, but for amusement purposes only, here is an E-mail that I received (just... slightly... modified)

____________________________________________ The openSUSE team proudly announces the availability of openSUSE 10.3, to be renamed Enterprise Windows-compatible Linux in the next version.

We're shipping all the latest open source packages that are available after Mr. Ballmer has completed a quick inspection. As highlights, we'd like to point out the latest desktops, GNOME 2.20 and KDE 3.5.7 plus KDE 4 preview, our MP3 support with Microsoft's patent coverage (courtesy of Alcatel-Lucent) via gstreamer plug-in by Fluendo, a dual boot process (for Vista), heavily optimised and improved package management, 1-click install option for additional software (patent protection for this idea from Microsoft will last for another 4 years, but Amazon's one-click-shopping patent remains a threat), OpenOffice 2.3 (with OOXML support), XEN 3.1 and VirtualBox 1.5 (SUSE Linux-exclusive thanks to the interop lab and the joint efforts with our good friends from Redmond) and, last but not least, our 1 CD installation which provides a small but fully loaded Vista trial version. For all the news and impressive screenshots, have a look at http://news.opensuse.org/?p=400 and have a look at things to come at http://microsoft.com/products/vienna

It's available now to download at http://software.openSUSE.org, only as a x86 version (64-bit is impractical, according to our partners at Redmond and PPC is only used by rival companies) - from our mirrors and via bittorrent.

The following ISOs can be downloaded: the 1 CD open source version with an add-on CD containing proprietary software, such as WGA, Windows Media Player, XPS reader, HD viewer, Silverlight Limited Edition, RealNetworks RealPlayer, .NET clone called Mono, and Sun Java Runtime Environment. DVD ISOs for all architectures are available and contain the open source version plus proprietary add-ons. An installable Live CD will be released in October, and the Edu add-on CD [http://en.opensuse.org/Education] will show up in the same time frame. However, thanks to our recently-commissioned studies, we are told that children prefer Windows.

As usual, openSUSE 10.3 will be available in European retail channels as a boxed product. The Register reports that the price in Britain exceeds 3,000 pounds (true story). In North America, the box will be available through shopNovell [http://shop.novell.com]. Due to production lead times and disruption due to the layoffs that Novell is expecting in October 2007 boxes will start to show up on shelves and in online shops approximately on Oct 11th. Pre-orders can be placed here: http://en.opensuse.org/Buy_openSUSE

We'd like to take this opportunity to thank Microsoft and the whole openSUSE community for tons of protection, coupons, attacking rival Linux distribution with FUD, testing, feedback, contributions and over all participation in helping to make openSUSE 10.3 an awesome distribution. While risking missing out some important contributors, we'd like to spotlight some community members (some of whom are paid) for their outstanding work:

- Ballmer for Producing FUD against rival Linuxes - Hilf for relentless 'patent terrorism' - Francis for Sneak Peeks [http://news.opensuse.org/?cat=17] - Beineri for his Quickies [http://news.opensuse.org/?cat=12] - Benji for the 1-click install [http://news.opensuse.org/?p=133] - Pascal and sPIN for community help [http://help.opensuse.org/] - All the community translators - http://en.opensuse.org/OpenSUSE_Localization_Teams Our top 3 bug reporters for openSUSE 10.3 - Andreas Hanke - David Binderman - Casual J. Programmer

Have a lot of fun!

Christoph, Coolo, Michael ____________________________________________

Yes, it's a joke, as was stated above.

Comments

Recent Techrights' Posts

Nothing that Microsoft Lunduke claims or says can be trusted
Nothing that Microsoft Lunduke claims of says can be trusted
How Software Patents Were Viewed or Their General Status Changed Over Time
A rough summary
Datamation, Where I Used to Publish Articles, Appears to Have Been Sold to TechnologyAdvice Only to Become a Slopfarm
I'd prefer to not associate with that site anymore
 
Garmin Uses Linux for Some of the Garmin Products, Now It's Sued by Strava Using Software Patents
Software patents should never have been granted in the first place
Richard Stallman Will Give a Talk in Sweden in 6 Days
Dr. Stallman, despite his battle with cancer is still alive and mentally sharp
FSF Turns 40
We'll be focusing on patent-related topics this weekend
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Friday, October 03, 2025
IRC logs for Friday, October 03, 2025
Gemini Links 04/10/2025: Distro Hopping and "Part Time"
Links for the day
We Are Turning 19 in One Month, FSF Turns 40 in 3 Hours (CET)
For our anniversary next month we still have no concrete plans
Patent Docs (or PatentDocs) Learned the Wrong Lessons From the Death of TypePad
Had they gone ahead with an SSG, they'd become a lot more future-proof
USPTO Patent Bubble Already Imploding, After Decades of Artificial Inflation, Entire Offices Close for Good
we can deduce that financial pressures (lack of "demand" for monopolies) play a role
TikTok is Not Harmless (Being CheeTok in the US Will Advance Orange Agenda)
Social control media isn't "fun and games"; it's a digital weapon that lets hostile groups or nations infiltrate others, then turn them against themselves
Andy Farnell and Helen Plews Explain What "Modern" Tech Does to Old People
Imposing terrible tech "religion" on people is not helping them
Tomorrow the Free Software Foundation (FSF) Turns 40 and Its Web Site is Still Slow Due to DDoS by LLM Slop Bots
For an advocacy group, uptime is important (for its message to remain accessible)
Slopwatch: Google News as a Firehose of LLM Slop About "Linux"
Google News is really bad
Links 03/10/2025: "NPR’s Economics Lessons Come With Neoliberal Spin" and Canada Post at Risk
Links for the day
Gemini Links 03/10/2025: Panic Attacks and Food Adulteration
Links for the day
Links 03/10/2025: Lawyers Caught Using LLM Slop Explain Why They Did It, LibreSSL 4.1.1 and 4.0.1 Released
Links for the day
FSF Board Grew 50% Since Last Year, Has New President, Turns 40 in Two Days
It's a good move for the FSF and - by extension - for software freedom
Links 03/10/2025: Conflicts, Death of TypePad, and TikTok/CheeTok Gives a Boost to Far Right Groups in Europe
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Thursday, October 02, 2025
IRC logs for Thursday, October 02, 2025
Slopwatch: Linux Journal, Google News, and LinuxSecurity
They carry on polluting the Web with fake articles
Gemini Links 02/10/2025: Kubernetes With FreeBSD and robots.txt
Links for the day
Links 02/10/2025: 'Open' 'AI' Resorting to Gimmicks and Fake Funding, Europe’s ‘Drone Wall’ Discussed
Links for the day
Links 02/10/2025: Brave Passes 100M Users Milestone, Kodak Selling Its Own Film Again
Links for the day
Michael “Monty” Widenius: It Started in 1983 With Richard Stallman (RMS)
The other co-founder of MySQL is a bit notorious for confronting RMS rather viciously
su lisa && rm -rf /home/ibm/power
Novell was ruined by another person from IBM, Ronald Hovsepian
A Record Demand at Microsoft: Demand to Cancel
What we're witnessing is a very ungraceful destruction of XBox
Microsoft is Losing Europe
Hence all the "support" and "discount" offers that are limited to Europe
The Free Software Foundation Starts Fund-raising for 40th Anniversary
New pop-up 2-3 days ahead of the 40th anniversary event
Systemd Breaks Networking in Debian and Microsoft Staff Rushes to Make Face-Saving Excuses in LWN
Microsoft's bluca is already there in the comments, his Microsoft money pays for LWN to let him leave comments early
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Wednesday, October 01, 2025
IRC logs for Wednesday, October 01, 2025
What the End of XBox Will Look Like: a Fiery Crash
XBox is the next Skype. It won't last much longer. Expect many more layoffs.
Richard Stallman is Going to Finland to Give a Talk Next Thursday
A day later he speaks in Sweden
Gemini Links 02/10/2025: SMTP Pipelining and End of ROOPHLOCH 2025
Links for the day