Bonum Certa Men Certa

Humour: What If OpenSUSE 10.3 Was Announced Jointly by Novell and Microsoft?

Sellout



Factual details about the new release will come on Saturday, but for amusement purposes only, here is an E-mail that I received (just... slightly... modified)

____________________________________________ The openSUSE team proudly announces the availability of openSUSE 10.3, to be renamed Enterprise Windows-compatible Linux in the next version.

We're shipping all the latest open source packages that are available after Mr. Ballmer has completed a quick inspection. As highlights, we'd like to point out the latest desktops, GNOME 2.20 and KDE 3.5.7 plus KDE 4 preview, our MP3 support with Microsoft's patent coverage (courtesy of Alcatel-Lucent) via gstreamer plug-in by Fluendo, a dual boot process (for Vista), heavily optimised and improved package management, 1-click install option for additional software (patent protection for this idea from Microsoft will last for another 4 years, but Amazon's one-click-shopping patent remains a threat), OpenOffice 2.3 (with OOXML support), XEN 3.1 and VirtualBox 1.5 (SUSE Linux-exclusive thanks to the interop lab and the joint efforts with our good friends from Redmond) and, last but not least, our 1 CD installation which provides a small but fully loaded Vista trial version. For all the news and impressive screenshots, have a look at http://news.opensuse.org/?p=400 and have a look at things to come at http://microsoft.com/products/vienna

It's available now to download at http://software.openSUSE.org, only as a x86 version (64-bit is impractical, according to our partners at Redmond and PPC is only used by rival companies) - from our mirrors and via bittorrent.

The following ISOs can be downloaded: the 1 CD open source version with an add-on CD containing proprietary software, such as WGA, Windows Media Player, XPS reader, HD viewer, Silverlight Limited Edition, RealNetworks RealPlayer, .NET clone called Mono, and Sun Java Runtime Environment. DVD ISOs for all architectures are available and contain the open source version plus proprietary add-ons. An installable Live CD will be released in October, and the Edu add-on CD [http://en.opensuse.org/Education] will show up in the same time frame. However, thanks to our recently-commissioned studies, we are told that children prefer Windows.

As usual, openSUSE 10.3 will be available in European retail channels as a boxed product. The Register reports that the price in Britain exceeds 3,000 pounds (true story). In North America, the box will be available through shopNovell [http://shop.novell.com]. Due to production lead times and disruption due to the layoffs that Novell is expecting in October 2007 boxes will start to show up on shelves and in online shops approximately on Oct 11th. Pre-orders can be placed here: http://en.opensuse.org/Buy_openSUSE

We'd like to take this opportunity to thank Microsoft and the whole openSUSE community for tons of protection, coupons, attacking rival Linux distribution with FUD, testing, feedback, contributions and over all participation in helping to make openSUSE 10.3 an awesome distribution. While risking missing out some important contributors, we'd like to spotlight some community members (some of whom are paid) for their outstanding work:

- Ballmer for Producing FUD against rival Linuxes - Hilf for relentless 'patent terrorism' - Francis for Sneak Peeks [http://news.opensuse.org/?cat=17] - Beineri for his Quickies [http://news.opensuse.org/?cat=12] - Benji for the 1-click install [http://news.opensuse.org/?p=133] - Pascal and sPIN for community help [http://help.opensuse.org/] - All the community translators - http://en.opensuse.org/OpenSUSE_Localization_Teams Our top 3 bug reporters for openSUSE 10.3 - Andreas Hanke - David Binderman - Casual J. Programmer

Have a lot of fun!

Christoph, Coolo, Michael ____________________________________________

Yes, it's a joke, as was stated above.

Comments

Recent Techrights' Posts

New XBox Leaks Probably Serve to Confirm XBox's Collapse (Many More Layoffs)
It's very much consistent with what many other sites have reported lately
 
Noteworthy Claim That IBM is Firing a Lot of Lawyers This Week (RAs in the Legal Department)
A lot of what they do is patent 'trolling' or lawyering up against their own staff (e.g. HR disputes)
Links 10/10/2025: US Judge Bars Attacks by ICE On Journalists and Protesters; “We Took The Freedom of Speech Away” Says the President
Links for the day
Slopwatch: Serial Sloppers, Google News Gifting Slopfarms, and Fake News/Plagiarism About "Linux"
Google itself is a slop pusher these days
Qualcomm, the New Owner of Arduino, Blasted for Its Software Patents Tax on 'Smartphones'
A lot of Qualcomm's patents are on software. We wrote about this in prior years.
XBox Layoffs Rumours, Downtime, and Criticism From XBox Co-Founder
"everyone is ditching the xbox."
Links 10/10/2025: Honoring The Legacy Of Robert Murray-Smith, Many Articles on the Hey Hi (AI) Bubble
Links for the day
Gemini Links 09/10/2025: October Gothic and Reading Middle Earth Role Playing; C and Ada
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Thursday, October 09, 2025
IRC logs for Thursday, October 09, 2025
Links 09/10/2025: Farewell to Jane Goodall, California Bans Algorithmic Price-Fixing
Links for the day
Gemini Links 09/10/2025: Lost Wages and a Saga Of Continuing To Use Palm PDAs
Links for the day
Richard Stallman's Talk in Helsinki is Done. Tomorrow Göteborg.
There are scarce details in Finnish about Dr. Stallman's talk
The Slop Song
The train wreck marches on
LLM Slop/Advanced Plagiarism Flooding the Zone With Capital That Does Not Exist
Many publishers out there still participate in this bubble instead of calling it what it is
Links 09/10/2025: Sacked Microsoft Workers Make "Sackbird", IBM Taps CockroachDB for PostgreSQL
Links for the day
"Happy Hacking Day" Richard Stallman Talk This Afternoon (From 14:00 to 16:00) at Haaga-Helia University in Pasila
Richard Stallman in Helsinki, Finland
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Wednesday, October 08, 2025
IRC logs for Wednesday, October 08, 2025
Links 09/10/2025: Impact of Microsoft Layoffs, More Data Breaches
Links for the day
Gemini Links 09/10/2025: Autumn Blues and C IRC Bot
Links for the day
Slopwatch Appreciated by Real Authors of GNU/Linux Articles
We do try to keep on top of those things
Upgraded R.R.R.R.R.R. Today
The Web of 2025 is full of garbage, not limited to slopfarms
Freedom From Proprietary Prisons
Forking always an option
IBM's Watson Died in 1956, Now Watson Dies Again
IBM is becoming just a reseller of GAFAM and other stuff
Slopwatch: LinuxSecurity, UbuntuPIT, and Google News
We've also just noticed more slop from UbuntuPIT
Microsoft Says That Constant Mass Layoffs Are Success, the Media Isn't Buying This Microsoft Narrative Anymore
If people in the media feel an obligation to repeat whatever lies Microsoft tells, what point will there be to the media?
Links 08/10/2025: "Mali Puts Free Speech on Trial" And Apple Enforces Dictatorship
Links for the day
Links 08/10/2025: ‘Death to Spotify’ and Law to Ban Loud Commercials on Streaming (Dis)Services
Links for the day
Links 08/10/2025: Real Innovation and Nina.chat is Dead
Links for the day
Links 08/10/2025: Y2K38 Bug is a Vulnerability, Chat Control in Europe a Threat
Links for the day
Microsoft Windows is No Longer an Operating System, It's Surveillance Project
Why is this even legal to preload on PCs outside the US?
How and Why Once-Legitimate Sites Turn Into Slopfarms
Many sites will go offline and many social control networks will shut down once they realise or even openly admit they spend money and time gardening a bunch of bots and slop
UbuntuPIT Became a Slopfarm and Gnoppix Tarnishes Its Own Brand With Slop
It fits all the characteristics of mildly-edited (if at all) slop
Slopwatch: Linux Journal and Other Slopfarms
GAFAM needs to go the way of the dodo
Gemini Links 08/10/2025: "Seek Seek Revolution" and Gradient Backgrounds
Links for the day
Qualcomm Arduino Takes Aim at Raspberry Pi
Qualcomm is a Microsoft partner
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Tuesday, October 07, 2025
IRC logs for Tuesday, October 07, 2025
Stagnation of the Economy and What Free Software Can (or Could) Do For It
If your economic model is based on a pyramid of lies, it won't last very long
Social Control Media is Sinking
it would rightly seem like the era of centralised "social" sites (they're not social, they're about controlling the users) is ending, not overnight but gradually