Bonum Certa Men Certa

More Tall Tales From EPOnia - A Little Apéritif to Whet the Appetite…

Guest post

Sozzled



Summary: The resident of the EPO pub is said to have thrown yet another major tantrum (like the former resident)

The EPOnian grapevine is buzzing with speculation about a recent incident of “disorderly conduct” at Munich Airport reportedly involving a VIP passenger who was “in his cups”. As so often happens in the enigmatic realm of EPOnia (European Patent Office), the facts are thin on the ground and rumours are rife. But investigations are continuing and it should not be long before more details emerge...



"Take-off had been scheduled for 14:40 but was delayed until 15:31."During a recent routine data-gathering exercise, a member of the EPOnia plane-spotting club noticed that last Monday, 27 May, the afternoon flight LH 2288 from Munich to Brussels was delayed for almost an hour. Take-off had been scheduled for 14:40 but was delayed until 15:31.

LH2288 delay



Nobody was inclined to give the matter a second thought until a curious Google Cache explorer stumbled across the following entry from an online aviation forum.

Copy of Google Cache



The forum link was active on 27 May 2019 but it seems to have disappeared in the meantime.

A missing link



The identity of the VIP who caused the delay in the flight schedule has not yet been officially revealed.

For the moment there are only unconfirmed reports that his arrival was accompanied by a loud royal fanfare and shouts of “Make way for António the Unsteady!” as he entered the plane.

This was reportedly followed by an rousing rendition of the popular Bavarian beer-hall song “Ein Prosit der Gemütlichkeit” in what some have described as a distinctly Mediterranean accent...

António the unsteady



The exact details of what happened when the police arrived on the scene are still not known but there have been unconfirmed reports of exchanges along the lines of:

“What do you mean drunk? I am as jober as a sudge! Or at least as sound of mind as one of those inmates out in Haar...”

Sharp fragments of legal jargon such as “diplomatic immunity” are also reported to have been thrown about but the slurred and incoherent delivery made it difficult for the bemused audience to follow the arguments being presented.

As he was escorted off the plane by the police some bystanders claim to have heard the distressed VIP shout “Unhand me, you varlet! You know not whom you touch!"

It’s hardly surprising that the EPO rumour-mill has gone into overdrive with speculation about the nature of the unnamed VIP’s aborted mission to Brussels.

Suggestions that he may have had a date for a “liquid lunch” with Jean-Claude Drunker have been doing the rounds but as yet there is no confirmation of this.

Juncker drunk
No comment from the EU press office in Brussels



Other insiders have dismissed the whole affair as a cheap PR stunt, which went pear-shaped. According to this theory, the aim of the exercise was to rebrand a rather passive “very silent cricket” as more assertive “drunken grasshopper”.

EPO grasshopper



The idea was to tank him up with “Dutch courage” so that he could reinvent himself as a “tough guy” able to face down the officious “jobsworth” cabin crew on a Lufthansa flight.

EPO grasshopper



If this really was the plan, then it turned out to be a case of “many a slip ‘twixt cup and lip” as his PR advisors failed to reckon with the strong arm of the Bavarian airport constabulary.

Efforts to get to the bottom of the matter are continuing and all plausible lines of investigation are being pursued. A detailed report is in the pipeline so stay tuned for more shortly.

Editor's note: Campinos is like Battistelli in a lot of ways (not just their nationality), so this hypothesis is very plausible

Recent Techrights' Posts

There Were Several Waves of Microsoft Shanghai Layoffs in 2025, Western Media Continues to Turn a Blind Eye to Chinese Layoffs of an Epic Scale
Sometimes select Taiwanese news sites (published in English) or automated translations are all we have
Brett Wilson LLP Spreads Trumpism to the United Kingdom, Looking to Profit From 'Legal Colonialism' (Overriding Sovereignty)
There's growing recognition of this conundrum worldwide
Distinguished Lecture by Richard Stallman This Coming Monday in Rome
After "Free software, Crucial for Freedom in a Digital World"
The Lawsuit by Clients of Brett Wilson LLP Against Brett Wilson LLP is Officially On, It is Progressing, The 'Experts' Pick Outside Law Firms (RPC and Mills & Reeve) to Spare Them From Litigants in Person
So it is probably quite potent
The 'Culture Wars' in Free Software Have Gone Out of Control
Social control media amplifies such utterly infantile discourse
Teaser: To Compensate for the Fact Our Clients Are Terrible Human Beings Who Strangle Women (While on Microsoft's Payroll) and We Get Paid by Mystery Parties We Bombard You and Your Wife With Almost 10 Kilograms of Legal Papers
If you can't win an argument, then drown the other side with papers?
Now Confirmed in Western Media: Microsoft Azure Layoffs This Month
Affirmed by more sources moments ago
 
Qualcomm and Manchester United Appear to Have Dumped Microsoft (Qualcomm Now Invests More in Linux, Apparently)
It's a relief to no longer see Microsoft logos and brands on a local football club's gear (I'm not a Manchester United fan, but not a foe either)
As Guest of Honour in Rome, Founder of the Free Software Foundation to Speak ("Distinguished Lecture") After Introduction by Leonardo Querzoni
Happy hacking...
All Things Open is Proprietary
The OSI has become a front group of proprietary software openwashers, led and sponsored by proprietary giants
When Microsoft Lays Off Lots of Workers They Say It "Invests in AI" (a Lie), Now It's "Reshuffles" or "Microsoft Tightens"
Microsoft "news" by bots
"I saw Richard Stallman give a talk in the mid 80s, which began my fear and loathing of software patents" and "Richard Stallman was always right."
"By betraying the legacy of our ancestors, we’ve set ourselves on a path toward self-destruction — moral, intellectual, economic, and ultimately biological."
The Demise of Shopping in Person
In a world like this, how valued is the customer?
We Are Safe in a Modern "Tech" Society, Right?
People are safer if they control their own computing
This Past Friday, "Nearly 700 People Came to Listen to RMS!" (Richard Stallman)
"Nearly 700 people came to listen to RMS!"
Slopwatch: UbuntuPIT Churning Out Plagiarism and the Slopfarm LinuxSecurity Turns to Pseudonyms
Our hunch is, UbuntuPIT will sooner or later realise that this toxic approach is just harming UbuntuPIT and tainting the reputation of past articles
Gemini Links 11/10/2025: Nyctography, Gerrymandering, and Lurking
Links for the day
Links 11/10/2025: World Mental Health Day 2025, Another European Legal Defeat for Microsoft 360
Links for the day
MIT Technology Review is Part-Time SPAMfarm of Billionaires and Mega-Corporations
Does MIT operate its own "b2b" SPAMfarm?
Open Source Initiative Executive Director Leaves, Replacement Sought by Monopolists, Not the Community or OSI Members
Serves to show who runs this show...
Links 11/10/2025: China-US Tensions Grow Again, "Hey Hi" More Widely Recognised as Bubble Made of Capital That Doesn't Exist
Links for the day
Peter O'Callaghan QC represented grandparents, Westernport Hotel, at Liquor Royal Commission
Reprinted with permission from Daniel Pocock
Either The Register MS Divests From FOSS Coverage or Liam Proven is on Long Holiday
Publishers perish when their audience loses trust in them
Microsoft Cancelling Another Datacentre is a Sign of Financial Trouble and Lack of Growth
The debt continues to grow
Gemini Links 11/10/2025: An Evening at the Fair and Fast Fourier Friday
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Friday, October 10, 2025
IRC logs for Friday, October 10, 2025
Geminispace is Very Large
The word continues to spread and the number of participants grows
Another Wave of Microsoft Layoffs, This Time During National Day Holiday
This time it's China again
10 Out of 10: RMS Attracts Massive Audience in Göteborg, Sweden (All Seats Occupied, Some People Standing)
a 55-second clip of his talk
Staying Happy in Times of Crackdowns on Civil Society
Optimism in this sort of "new reality" or "new normal" seems like something for the irrational person
"Nobel" Exploited Posthumously for "AI" Hype, Now They Do the Same With "Quantum"
ere have been many jokes about "Nobel" for peace (often granted to pro-war people) and a fake one for "Economics" (establishment propaganda)
Slopwatch: Plagiarism and "Linux" Articles by Bots
Sites that do this won't survive; many of them rely on slop services (suppliers) that will cease to exist after the bubble bursts
Links 10/10/2025: Putin Admits Russia Downed Azerbaijan Airlines Jet, More New Heat Records
Links for the day
Noteworthy Claim That IBM is Firing a Lot of Lawyers This Week (RAs in the Legal Department)
A lot of what they do is patent 'trolling' or lawyering up against their own staff (e.g. HR disputes)
Links 10/10/2025: US Judge Bars Attacks by ICE On Journalists and Protesters; “We Took The Freedom of Speech Away” Says the President
Links for the day
Slopwatch: Serial Sloppers, Google News Gifting Slopfarms, and Fake News/Plagiarism About "Linux"
Google itself is a slop pusher these days
Qualcomm, the New Owner of Arduino, Blasted for Its Software Patents Tax on 'Smartphones'
A lot of Qualcomm's patents are on software. We wrote about this in prior years.
XBox Layoffs Rumours, Downtime, and Criticism From XBox Co-Founder
"everyone is ditching the xbox."
Links 10/10/2025: Honoring The Legacy Of Robert Murray-Smith, Many Articles on the Hey Hi (AI) Bubble
Links for the day
Gemini Links 09/10/2025: October Gothic and Reading Middle Earth Role Playing; C and Ada
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Thursday, October 09, 2025
IRC logs for Thursday, October 09, 2025
Links 09/10/2025: Farewell to Jane Goodall, California Bans Algorithmic Price-Fixing
Links for the day
Gemini Links 09/10/2025: Lost Wages and a Saga Of Continuing To Use Palm PDAs
Links for the day
Richard Stallman's Talk in Helsinki is Done. Tomorrow Göteborg.
There are scarce details in Finnish about Dr. Stallman's talk
New XBox Leaks Probably Serve to Confirm XBox's Collapse (Many More Layoffs)
It's very much consistent with what many other sites have reported lately
The Slop Song
The train wreck marches on
LLM Slop/Advanced Plagiarism Flooding the Zone With Capital That Does Not Exist
Many publishers out there still participate in this bubble instead of calling it what it is
Links 09/10/2025: Sacked Microsoft Workers Make "Sackbird", IBM Taps CockroachDB for PostgreSQL
Links for the day
"Happy Hacking Day" Richard Stallman Talk This Afternoon (From 14:00 to 16:00) at Haaga-Helia University in Pasila
Richard Stallman in Helsinki, Finland
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Wednesday, October 08, 2025
IRC logs for Wednesday, October 08, 2025
Links 09/10/2025: Impact of Microsoft Layoffs, More Data Breaches
Links for the day
Gemini Links 09/10/2025: Autumn Blues and C IRC Bot
Links for the day