Gemini* and Gopher

• Personal/Opinions

  • Loners and Vacation

    I'm visiting a relatively large city, and by that I mean a few million people in the metro area. It's my second time here when I was not just passing through on the way to "somewhere else." I always feel a bit lost in a new location, though I very much enjoy exploring and discovering what makes a place truly special. Large or small, each is unique—public landmarks and hidden secrets. Last summer, I visited many of the former. This year, I'm still gathering my bearings. I arrived yesterday.

    I've never been fearful of wandering most anywhere. I have family, friends, and acquaintances who become anxious in neighborhoods of our town of 100,000 during broad daylight. In contrast, I have walked Manhattan in the middle of the night and never experienced even mild concern. I am not sure what leads to those differences is reaction.

  • new blog title; present and presence

    One common feature/bug of ADHD is "time blindness," or the inability to accurately gauge time. I describe it like this:

    "My mind only recognizes two times: Now and Not-Now. Not-Now does not exist."

    The nonexistence of Not-Now explains why I have trouble planning (the goal doesn't exist, since it's Not-Now), keeping track of deadlines (they occur Not-Now), and not overcommitting myself (everything I promise to do is Not-Now). In a sense, ADHD forces us to live in the present - the "Now" that is the only time that exists.

    Or so I thought. Since the March 2021 motorcycle accident that killed my husband and upended my life, I've been stuck in another horrible present: The constant present of grief.

    Intellectually, I understand that it's been four and a half years. I can remember things I have done between The Accident and Now. But I have to think about it. I have to remind myself that yes, those things occurred in a time span *between* The Accident and Now.

    Instinctively, emotionally, fundamentally, time stopped for me. I live perpetually at the moment on March 24, 2021 when I woke up from surgery, looked at the date written on the whiteboard in my ICU room, and thought: "My entire marriage is past tense."

  • chaste

  • NATMOS:R C2| LQ’s account of the end

    So this is my next one today, expect ~10 more days before year 3. Expect this series to be different.

  • library

    i met the man who runs the library today & he's very chill too

• Technology and Free Software

  • Random Weird Things - Part Ⅲ

    Every so often, I come across random, weird, and unexpected things on the internet. It would be neat to share them here from time to time. This is the third run.

    [...]

    Give a system conditionals, state, and unbounded composition, and it often crosses the threshold into general computation—whether that was the goal or not. The list includes items such as CSS, regular expression dialects, and even card games. It’s a fun lens for understanding why “just a configuration language” can get complicated fast.

  • Internet/Gemini

    • login weirdness, anyone else?

      I understand there are limitations to gemini however leaving a gemini browser like Lagrange to get dumped into Firefox for login is weird. can't midnight pub recognize gemini certs for login? is this just me and am I doing it wrong?