Summary: "Linux" Subsystem for Monopoly; get up and dance, peasants! Let's celebrate!
TWO reboots a week are less than sufficient
That may be the cost of running a base too ancient for the technically-proficient
A piece of malware and/or a keylogger -- all with its own bootable system
What else can be added? Let's add more bloat to the rhythm
So we threw in GNU, but of course we called it Linux
What else is new? Well, at least it's kind of like UNIX
Canonical was recruited to help, but their assistant jumped ship
So a Hayden we added, taking his first UNIX dip
Anonymously we trolled our critics
What do they know after all? Just a bunch of fanatics!
The media we bribed, except that which was already in our pockets
WSL they called "LINUX", what a bunch of mindless muppets!
Several years passed and WSL was a failure
We refused to reveal numbers, we said it's an error
So WSL2 we trotted out, this time with Linux included
ActiveX we then added, as EEE must be EEEmbedded
Here we are an election cycle later
Things aren't getting better
Our position is slipping even faster
Our boss Bill says this should matter
In between crucial meetings
Secret meetings nevertheless
With Modi, with Trump
With Epstein the mess
Microsoft can't be evil, for it says it loves everything
And it can't be racist either, for Nadella fronts for Windows and Bing!
Microsoft loves Linux
Polygamy is OK
It loves Windows more so
With Linux on top (crap, that sounds gay)
Cygwin is reinvented
Or invented in Redmond
Two decades later
But it says "Microsoft" so it's a diamond
As our market share continues to dwindle
Harder we shall fake
Lying to our shareholders
Distractions from the layoffs we bake
"Linux" Subsystem for Windows
150,000 users worldwide
Anything to ensure GNU/Linux hasn't WINE on the side
Microsoft loves Linux
Polygamy is OK
But no bootloader, no improvements
We love Linux only as long as its users
pay ⬆