Bonum Certa Men Certa

Microsoft Devises PR Stunts to Distract From Impending Mass Layoffs and Likely Bad Results Preceding Those Mass Layoffs

posted by Roy Schestowitz on Apr 22, 2025

Cracked dry earth

A "voluntary exit plan"

The mafia don corleone: When the boss says jump, you jump. Kapish?

Earlier today: Microsoft's Debt Grew Over 6 Billion Dollars in the Last Reporting Quarter (Before Inauguration), Expect Worse Next Week When 'Results' Are Disclosed and Mass Layoffs Resume

We have grown accustomed to this. We've seen this before. This is ever so familiar to us. Why? IBM, not just Microsoft. We also covered this HR method in relation to Sirius Open Source, so I personally know it all too well. I heard it all before.

What is it?

Is it the "voluntary exit plan" (or "buyout" or RTO or forced relocation which they know upfront almost everyone would turn down if asked).

Now Microsoft is doing it, but one must read between the lines and transcend the Microsoft spin, which many in the media blindly parrot: (some may be LLM slop or slop from falsely advertised "summarisers")

  1. Microsoft targets ‘low performers’ in a sensational new memo

    Microsoft announced steps to address low performance this week — including a two year re-hiring ban for such employees. The development comes mere weeks after the tech giant fired around 2000 employees without severance pay after deeming them as ‘underperformers’. Unverified reports suggest that Microsoft is also gearing up for a fresh round of layoffs next month.

    According to an internal email viewed by Business Insider, the company has crafted “new and enhanced tools” that will help managers to “swiftly address” low performance. The tools outlined by Chief People Officer Amy Coleman are also designed to “accelerate high performance” as Microsoft heightens its focus on accountability and growth.

  2. Microsoft Cracks Down On Low Performers With New Exit Strategy: Check Details

    Microsoft has rolled out stricter internal policies to reinforce its performance management system, as outlined by Chief People Officer Amy Coleman in a recent internal email. The new guidelines aim to help managers address underperformance more decisively while rewarding high achievers more clearly.

  3. Microsoft introduces strict new policies for low performers, adds voluntary exit plan

    Microsoft is cracking down on those employees it considers to be low performers. The Redmond company has laid out new policies and tools in an internal email to managers, which include a ban on internal transfers for poor performers and a two-year rehiring block on those let go.

    In an internal email seen by Business Insider, Microsoft's new chief people officer Amy Coleman wrote about new and enhanced tools that would help accelerate high performance and swiftly address low performance.

    The email adds that the tools will help "foster a culture of accountability and growth." Employees who are not meeting expectations will be put on Performance Improvement Plans (PIPs), which are described as a new globally consistent approach to set clear expectations and a timeline for improvement.

  4. Microsoft Gets Tough On Low Performers: New Rules, No Rehire For 2 Years

    Microsoft is taking a harder stance on employee performance. In an internal email to managers, the company outlined stricter rules for dealing with underperformers, including a ban on internal transfers and a two-year rehire block for those consistently rated low. As reported by Business Insider, the move is part of a wider shift in the tech industry to prioritise efficiency and accountability after years of rapid hiring.

  5. Microsoft Implements Stricter Performance Policies, Including 2-Year Rehire Ban

    Microsoft managers received guidance last Friday outlining new, stricter company policies for handling employee performance, signaling a clear move towards increased accountability across the Redmond giant.

    An internal email from Amy Coleman, Microsoft’s recently appointed Chief People Officer with a long history at the company including prior experience developing performance management strategies, details several changes. These include a formalized process for managing underperformers involving a choice between an improvement plan or voluntary separation, alongside new restrictions preventing internal moves and implementing a two-year rehire ban for those exiting under these circumstances.

There will be more later today. Some of the above (the last one for sure) is Microsoft cheerleaders. This is new(s), but they obscure what's happening.

Get it?

This is the IBM modus operandi (and no, it is not limited to IBM, but we covered this a lot in relation to IBM).

Such IBM tactics were described as recently as a few hours ago, e.g. regarding headcount fallacies: "Start 2024 with 282k End 2024 with 270k Net = -12,000 (you know math and IBM’s actual announced facts)"

"OH by the way pay no attention to the 12,000 we laid off in early 2025 as it’s not in the data yet (they really don’t count since the LLM is only as good as the data that feeds it)"

"The fact is IBM is shrinking faster than they want to admit (over 4% in 2024) 2025 is on course to hit 8% (approx 21k)".

We countered/rebutted the "headcount" spin of both Microsoft and IBM in articles such as:

There's much more. To quote new comments about IBM (only hours old): "What they need to remember [...] Everyone is free to choose but not free from the consequences of their choices".

"Our department lost 15 people due to this," says the latest comment. "They wanted people to move at their expense. Maybe If Alvind Krabanaugh and Ice Cream Cohen and the other Pipmunks weren’t so greedy and took less shares their moving expenses could have been covered".

This is similar to what Microsoft is doing right now.

Microsoft is the "next IBM", and that is not a compliment at all!

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