Bonum Certa Men Certa

With Obedient Dolls Like Gartner and the BSA, Who Needs Enemies?

"Analysts sell out - that’s their business model... But they are very concerned that they never look like they are selling out, so that makes them very prickly to work with."

--Microsoft, internal document



This is certainly not a rant, but merely a comical reminder of who the BSA and Gartner Group really are, as well as whom they serve. To be truthful, it's just business as usual for them. And nevertheless, it's good to find some timely validation from other sources. It lends to credibility.



Those who follow the link digests closely enough probably will have noticed the new article from India about so-called 'piracy' (a propaganda term), whose decline is partly caused by quiet and gradual migrations to Free software.

“It's a pay-for-praise pool of people in suits.”With the exception of the brainwash-loaded headline it's quite a good article because, unlike many others of its kind, it does bother to show that the BSA and its affiliates are not the only game in town. The BSA ambitiously escapes its worst nightmare (and the nightmare of its funding corporations of course). It's free software. It makes them all obsolete. We summarised the escapades of the BSA and Microsoft in the following long post, which serves as decent background (or so we hope). The artificial inflation of figures by criminologists at the BSA gives Microsoft ammunition that changes laws and earns the company sympathy it does not deserve -- always neglecting the ingredient that is alternative products and the effect on copyrights infringement on adoption and widespread vendor lock-in.

Another good exposition comes from Cringely, who speaks about the Gartner Group and the likes of it. We last addressed this serious issue about a month ago. Nothing has changed. It was a couple of months ago that Matt Asay sarcastically said that if you want something good to be said about your company, all you need to do is hire an analyst. That's just how these businesses operate. It's a pay-for-praise pool of people in suits. Information Week too has published an article that questions the integrity of analyst and it put special focus on Gartner, which is fairly large.

Anyone who takes these analysts seriously ought to just take a look at the track record of their predictions. Further, here is Cringely's new take.

I have this notion to write a series of columns from time to time under the title "Reality Check" -- columns intended to explain how the world of Information Technology actually functions. Because like any other entrenched, complex, and often closeted industry, things in IT don't really work the way many people think they do. I'm guessing the Vatican is a bit like that, too. So I'll be looking at various IT players and their roles and trying to put them into perspective, much as I did recently with a column or two about the role of computer consultants. This week the topic is Gartner Inc., or rather all the Gartner-like operations that give advice about technology to America's largest businesses: what do these guys actually DO?

Not much of real value I'm afraid -- at least of value in my view.

[...]

Into this knowledge vacuum come the vendors, who want to sell stuff, and the consultants like Gartner, Forrester, IDC, and the Yankee Group, who need IT managers to feel uncertain about every decision except the decision to buy something, anything. Then look at the number of "research reports" that are commissioned by vendors. Uh-oh.

The five P's of IT are Pride, Prejudice, Politics, Price, and Performance, with the last two being by far the least important. Consultants like Gartner are very useful for minding the pride and politics, their real function being to provide $2 billion worth of IT management CYA per year.


We will surely return to discussing analysts and consultants in the future. Many of them just happen to be some of the world's most respected shills. Alas, we are supposed to look at them with awe and reverence. Corporations teach us to listen to them. Well, wouldn't that be expected from those whom they serve? Self-serving impositions and all?

Recent Techrights' Posts

Things Will Only Get Better (as We Go Backwards)
It only gets better. If you go back in time.
UK High Court Shows SRA is Totally Useless in Curbing SLAPPs, This Has Impact on Our Reporting on the SRA Next Week
We'll carry on our coverage and soon finish the current series that so we can get on with more time-sensitive ones
 
Gemini Links 22/09/2026: Scout Night, Cybernetic Capitalism, and Thoughts on Companies Forcing People to Adopt Plagiarism Engines
Links for the day
Links 22/09/2026: "An Arsenal of Surveillance" and Slop Bots Suggest Starting Wars
Links for the day
SLAPP Censorship - Part 193 Out of 200: Breaks GNU and Linux, Tries to Silence Critics, Loses All Money, Looks for Microsoft Allies and Sponsors
The latest emotional knee-jerk reactions serve to confirm what we have long said
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Monday, September 21, 2026
IRC logs for Monday, September 21, 2026
Links 21/09/2026: "Lies of the Hey Hi (AI) Industry" and Solar Power Is Getting Cheap
Links for the day
Gemini Links 21/09/2026: Equinox and Beginner's Guide to Gemini
Links for the day
Links 21/09/2026: "Back On My Bicycle" and American Regime's War on Media Escalates Further
Links for the day
SLAPP Censorship - Part 192 Out of 200: The Hired Guns of Garrett and Graveley Sent Us USB Sticks (One to Me, One to My Wife) Showing Lozza Talking to Garrett About Censoring/Deplatforming Techrights the Same Time Graveley Was Copy-Pasting Garrett's Lawsuit
Next year we plan to bring this matter to the Court of Appeal
Linux Kernel Becoming a Slopfest - Part 6 - Seeing Who Contaminates Linux With Slop (And Also Admits It)
Today we begin looking at some culprits
2026: The Year Galleries Realised the Need to Flag or Cull Slop Images
Society needs to shun slopfarms, people who use LLM slop (for anything at all), companies that use bots (which they dub "agents"), and so-called 'coders' who volley garbage into project and software hubs
Software Freedom Day Celebrated in 5 or 6 Continent
Software Freedom Day (SFD) 2026 was big this year
SLAPP Censorship - Part 191 Out of 200: Garrett, Graveley and Lozza
They talk to and coordinate with one another
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Sunday, September 20, 2026
IRC logs for Sunday, September 20, 2026
Gemini Links 21/09/2026: Digital Hoarder, GTD, Minimalism vs Digital Minimalism, Rejection of LLMs
Links for the day
Links 20/09/2026: "Google Now Asking For Users’ Video Selfies" and Energy Prices Set to Rise
Links for the day
Enjoy the Giving/Sharing, Not Taking
We've long supported what we believed in, even with the little money we had
Links 20/09/2026: Amazon Layoffs, Flock 'Buyouts' (Silent Layoffs)
Links for the day
USCIS and Microsoft Rumours: Curbs on Lowering Salaries by Importing Cheaper Replacements?
It seems like Microsoft's mass layoffs and efforts to cheapen the workforce face obstacles
Gemini Links 20/09/2026: "Music While Working" and Radio Silence
Links for the day
Clownflare Data From Canada
We've like to think many people are attempting to install GNU/Linux over the weekend
SLAPP Censorship - Part 190 Out of 200: Plagiarism, Back Doors, and Sabotage of Linux
This can go on for a decade or longer
Linux Kernel Becoming a Slopfest - Part 5 - Kernel Dependency on Plagiarism Giant Microsoft is a Death Blow to Any Kernel
Microsoft is bringing copyright-infringing slop into Linux
GNU/Linux Has Grown a Lot Lately
Based on Clownflare
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Saturday, September 19, 2026
IRC logs for Saturday, September 19, 2026