Bonum Certa Men Certa

With Obedient Dolls Like Gartner and the BSA, Who Needs Enemies?

"Analysts sell out - that’s their business model... But they are very concerned that they never look like they are selling out, so that makes them very prickly to work with."

--Microsoft, internal document



This is certainly not a rant, but merely a comical reminder of who the BSA and Gartner Group really are, as well as whom they serve. To be truthful, it's just business as usual for them. And nevertheless, it's good to find some timely validation from other sources. It lends to credibility.



Those who follow the link digests closely enough probably will have noticed the new article from India about so-called 'piracy' (a propaganda term), whose decline is partly caused by quiet and gradual migrations to Free software.

“It's a pay-for-praise pool of people in suits.”With the exception of the brainwash-loaded headline it's quite a good article because, unlike many others of its kind, it does bother to show that the BSA and its affiliates are not the only game in town. The BSA ambitiously escapes its worst nightmare (and the nightmare of its funding corporations of course). It's free software. It makes them all obsolete. We summarised the escapades of the BSA and Microsoft in the following long post, which serves as decent background (or so we hope). The artificial inflation of figures by criminologists at the BSA gives Microsoft ammunition that changes laws and earns the company sympathy it does not deserve -- always neglecting the ingredient that is alternative products and the effect on copyrights infringement on adoption and widespread vendor lock-in.

Another good exposition comes from Cringely, who speaks about the Gartner Group and the likes of it. We last addressed this serious issue about a month ago. Nothing has changed. It was a couple of months ago that Matt Asay sarcastically said that if you want something good to be said about your company, all you need to do is hire an analyst. That's just how these businesses operate. It's a pay-for-praise pool of people in suits. Information Week too has published an article that questions the integrity of analyst and it put special focus on Gartner, which is fairly large.

Anyone who takes these analysts seriously ought to just take a look at the track record of their predictions. Further, here is Cringely's new take.

I have this notion to write a series of columns from time to time under the title "Reality Check" -- columns intended to explain how the world of Information Technology actually functions. Because like any other entrenched, complex, and often closeted industry, things in IT don't really work the way many people think they do. I'm guessing the Vatican is a bit like that, too. So I'll be looking at various IT players and their roles and trying to put them into perspective, much as I did recently with a column or two about the role of computer consultants. This week the topic is Gartner Inc., or rather all the Gartner-like operations that give advice about technology to America's largest businesses: what do these guys actually DO?

Not much of real value I'm afraid -- at least of value in my view.

[...]

Into this knowledge vacuum come the vendors, who want to sell stuff, and the consultants like Gartner, Forrester, IDC, and the Yankee Group, who need IT managers to feel uncertain about every decision except the decision to buy something, anything. Then look at the number of "research reports" that are commissioned by vendors. Uh-oh.

The five P's of IT are Pride, Prejudice, Politics, Price, and Performance, with the last two being by far the least important. Consultants like Gartner are very useful for minding the pride and politics, their real function being to provide $2 billion worth of IT management CYA per year.


We will surely return to discussing analysts and consultants in the future. Many of them just happen to be some of the world's most respected shills. Alas, we are supposed to look at them with awe and reverence. Corporations teach us to listen to them. Well, wouldn't that be expected from those whom they serve? Self-serving impositions and all?

Recent Techrights' Posts

Libya's Share on the Web: 5.2% GNU/Linux
GNU/Linux has hit an all-time high there
Codecs and Software Patents - Part VI - The European Patent Office, Nokia, Microsoft, Sisvel, and More
Whatever Nokia used to be, it's certainly not an ally and a lot of the turmoil at the EPO is the fault of companies like Nokia
 
Links 11/05/2026: Another Oracle Setback and Mass Layoffs in Iran
Links for the day
Gemini Links 11/05/2026: Older Can Be Faster and Textmode Workflow
Links for the day
Links 11/05/2026: The Solicitors Regulation Authority (SRA) Admits It Only Reacts When It's Too Late (Damage Already Done), Ombudsman’s Animal Cruelty HK Report
Links for the day
If It Takes You a Second to Serve (or Receive) a Page, That's Definitely Too Slow
For speeds at milliseconds (e.g. for pages to fully load in a tenth of a second) the pages must be ready to be sent as soon as they're requested
It's Not About Speed, It is About Patience and Adherence to Truth, Principles, Scientific Integrity
attacks on us only ever made us stronger - a lesson that our adversaries have learned the hard way
Cyber Show Does it Like Techrights: Static and Gemini Protocol as 'First-Class Citizen'
HTML and GemText (over Gemini Protocol) would be rendered in tandem
SLAPP Censorship - Part 73 Out of 200: Microsoft's Graveley and Garrett Remain Closely Connected in May 2026 ("Tag-Teaming" Against Bloggers in Another Continent)
The phrase "judge a person by their friends" seems applicable here
Discussions About When the Axe Falls at IBM/Kyndryl (11,000 Layoffs Estimated)
"Kyndryl restructuring should reduce overhead functions and reduce the number of managers that lack technical knowledge"
A World After Microsoft (and GAFAM) and After GitHub Shuts Down
the only growth area is debt
Fake News, Propaganda, and Misinformation: Microsoft Investing Money It Does Not Have in "Hey Hi" (for "Entertainment Purposes" Only)
This will not end well
Today the Whole European Patent Office (EPO) is on Strike and Next Monday an Even Bigger Strike
the media refuses to cover these and is thus complicit
The Corrupt Lecture the Non-Corrupt - Part IXX - EPO Management Speaks of Reputation and Integrity While Putting Cocaine Addicts in Management
If the EPO values its "reputation", then it needs to start by ousting the management
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Sunday, May 10, 2026
IRC logs for Sunday, May 10, 2026
Links 11/05/2026: Security Breaches, Politics, and Energy Crunch
Links for the day
Gemini Links 10/05/2026: "Accidental Cameras" and "Addictive" Interfaces in Social Control Media
Links for the day
Codecs and Software Patents - Part V - A Reminder That GAFAM and the European Patent Office (Which Serves American Monopolists) Do Considerable Harm to the Commons and Culture
some 'breaking' developments
Gemini Links 10/05/2026: Inkscape, Guix, and Alhena 5.5.8
Links for the day
The "Alicante Mafia" at the European Patent Office (EPO) Experiments With New Methods for Crushing Industrial Actions
Open letter to VP1 and the COO [...] What does this tell us about the status quo at the European Patent Office, Europe's second-largest institution?
The Corrupt Lecture the Non-Corrupt - Part XVIII - "The European Patent Office (EPO) has a zero-tolerance policy for fraud" (except when managers do it)
The guidebook of the EPO says fraud is not to be tolerated, but who enforces or revisits such "Red Lines"?
Links 10/05/2026: Hantavirus Brings Back 'Contact Tracing' Surveillance, "Staple Food Prices Soar in Iran"
Links for the day
Microsoft XBox Staff Know They're in Trouble, They Try to Unionise Ahead of Mass Layoffs
As the slang goes, it's going to be a "bloodbath"
Links 10/05/2026: Fake Suicide Notes and New EU Restrictions on Slop
Links for the day
SLAPP Censorship - Part 72 Out of 200: Microsoft's Graveley and Garrett Signed Documents That Hold Them Accountable to Truth and Liable for Lies
Such collaborations are unsavoury and apparently unprofessional, too
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Saturday, May 09, 2026
IRC logs for Saturday, May 09, 2026
Gemini Links 10/05/2026: Travelling to Van and "Dark Mode" as Passing Fad
Links for the day
IBM's Kyndryl Holdings Inc Sank 70-75% in 'Value' in 10 Months, Will IBM Follow?
Kyndryl Holdings Inc now has a debt considerably higher than this company is said to be 'worth'!
Belated Sovereignty: GNU/Linux in Iran Skyrockets to 6% Amid Armed Conflict
unless they're truly in control of their networks, hardware and software, somebody else can control them
Gemini Links 09/05/2026: Liberation, The Nocturnals, Rediscovering Internet Radio, and More
Links for the day
Links 09/05/2026: Kremlin’s Biggest Day of the Year and FBI's Attack on the Media (to Save Face)
Links for the day
Google is "Bullshit"
Fix your slop, Google. It's broken.
SLAPP Censorship - Part 71 Out of 200: 5RB Barristers Made Tens of Thousands of Pounds by Changing From Plural to Singular for Microsoft's Graveley and Garrett
Could not even get the client's name right
Links 09/05/2026: "Grand Theft Oil Futures" and Mass Layoffs at Verizon
Links for the day
Gemini Links 09/05/2026: Inkscape "Copy Text Style" and NomadNet
Links for the day
The Corrupt Lecture the Non-Corrupt - Part XVII - European Patent Office (EPO) Management Not Sharing Responsibility for Financial Resources
For those who wonder, EPO strikes are still going on
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Friday, May 08, 2026
IRC logs for Friday, May 08, 2026