Bonum Certa Men Certa

The EPO 'Results' Are Bunk

Pseudoscience reigns supreme in Battistelli's EPO

Lord Monckton



Summary: The EPO's so-called 'results' get thoroughly debunked in an academic fashion (numerous independent analyses), leaving the EPO's marketing department in a growing state of crisis and Battistelli incapable (or less capable) of convincing the Administrative Council (AC) that his iron-fisted, abuses-ridden regime ultimately paid off

A PATENT attorney, writing a blog post with some graphs he had produced, showed that the EPO was most likely "inventing" its so-called 'results' and figures. Soon thereafter, quite magically in fact, WIPO revisited its figures. How bizarre.



Well, based on some other research, from which figures have been produced, the EPO is lying to everyone about so-called 'results' in an effort to justify its many abuses. The thugs who (at least now) run the Office habitually like to paint it all as a compromise, or a toll taken due to a necessary 'reform'.

Nonsense.

"The EPO has been telling all who will listen in recent years that its processing of applications is getting ever more efficient," wrote IP Kat's Merpel earlier today, "while quality is also improving. Given that quality is somewhat intangible and that the perception of different users on what constitutes quality can differ so much let’s leave that aside. Surely the efficiency claims can be verified beyond doubt?

"The thugs who (at least now) run the Office habitually like to paint it all as a compromise, or a toll taken due to a necessary 'reform'.""Alas, the hard data and analysis has been somewhat sparse, leaving Merpel and the world at large in the position of having to rely on the EPO’s figures and claims with little opportunity to put these to the test.

"Until now…

"A valued reader who goes by the nom de plume of Archibald Calculus has been doing some number crunching. He has taken raw data of various types from the EPO, tabulated it, graphed it, and tortured it mercilessly until it gave up its essential truths.

"Over the next few posts, Merpel will be passing on to her readers the results of Archibald’s invaluable analysis. Are pendency times improving measurably? Does an independent analysis back up the claims of efficiency made to the AC?"

This very long post, which contains many graphs, shows that the EPO's claims are most likely false. We have been hearing this for quite some time from numerous sources inside the EPO, but now there are more data points to prove it.

“Does an independent analysis back up the claims of efficiency made to the AC?”
      --Merpel
To quote just one bit, the EPO's "practice of occasionally presenting median values for prosecution times, whether deliberate or not, hides this situation."

On misleading statistics: "Information from the EPO on the duration of the procedure is rather piecemeal and seems confused as to what is being measured: mean, median, or proportion of files respecting some absolute criteria."

Another bit says: "Despite the reassuring statements put out by almost all EPO Presidents in the last fifteen years including the present one, the delay to grant for European patents has worsened almost continually ever since the Office was founded."

They are torturing statistics basically. Coming from PR people with massive outside help (lying to journalists and even to staff), this oughtn't be so shocking. The only remaining question is, how long before yet another source shows (again) that the EPO's 'results' are bunk, or simply propaganda?

Battistelli -- like Lord Monckton (photographed above) -- has no background in science, so it's hardly surprising that he gleefully spits on science in an effort to advance his reckless agenda. How do the many scientists which the EPO employs feel about it? That's like putting a person who denies human role in climate change in charge of NASA or CERN.

Recent Techrights' Posts

European Patent Office (EPO) Crisis: Huge EPO Strikes, Profound Corruption, and Cocaine Use by Managers Tolerated
These strikes won't be ending any time soon
25 Years With PalmOS
That my Palm PDA still works in 2026 (not in mint condition but close to that) says a lot about the "build quality" of gadgets 20+ years ago
Microsoft Has Spent Months Preparing Lists of People to Cull in Massive Wave of Layoffs (Allegedly Start of July)
There is some consensus that we're weeks away from mega-layoffs at Microsoft
Gemini Links 06/06/2026: "Competing" With LLMs and "Automation of Any Kind"
Links for the day
 
Links 07/06/2026: NASA's Mars Maven Declared Dead, Telegram Founder Pavel Durov Bemoans Russia's Crackdown
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Saturday, June 06, 2026
IRC logs for Saturday, June 06, 2026
Gemini Links 07/06/2026: How to Train Your Dragon (2010) and "Six Days of Play"
Links for the day
Links 06/06/2026: 'Epstein Problem' in Board of Directors of Microsoft, Surveillance Giant Google Under Legal Threats for Online Misuses
Links for the day
Banning Things Versus Teaching People the Reason/s to Shun/Boycott Those Things
Prohibition has its limits
Software Freedom Takes a Lot More Than Coding
some of the roles in the Free software community that don't receive (m)any grateful words
Ubuntu is Losing to Other GNU/Linux Distros
"Linux Mint"
Old Articles Explaining That Patents - Especially Software Patents - Are Bad for Innovation
We've omitted more than 50% of the articles we had gathered as candidates for inclusion
Why GNU and FSF Will Choose AV1 Over AV2 (It's More Widely Supported)
for the foreseeable future they'll stick with AV1
Mass Layoffs (RAs) and PIPs (Excuses to Sack) at IBM: Insiders Tell No Relation to Actual Performance
If many thousands are impacted by this, then certainly it is newsworthy
Links 06/06/2026: LinkedIn Infested With Spies, Ethernet WiFi Router On Pi Pico 2W
Links for the day
Why We Dumped Online Shopping (Groceries)
subsidies kept the "online" stuff artificially cheap
Microsoft Fell to All-Time Low in Monaco Last Month
So says statCounter anyway
Lawsuits That Don't Work
Not as expected anyway
SLAPP Censorship - Part 99 Out of 200: Graveley and Garrett Seem to Have Crashed Brett Wilson LLP (Worse Than Taking Russian Oligarchs as SLAPP Clients)
a state of disarray
Links 06/06/2026: 'Linux' Foundation Openwashing Slop on Microsoft's Payroll, Ukraine Wants Permanent Ceasefire With Russia
Links for the day
50% of the 'Gains' Made by "Quantum" Hype Already Evaporated
"It was all hype about quantum nonsense. Heading back to reality now. Expect sub-$220 after earnings release next month."
Heap of Trash Online, Not Just the Fault of LLM Slop But Enabled by Slop
Google News has just promoted a pair of prolific slopfarms
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Friday, June 05, 2026
IRC logs for Friday, June 05, 2026
Links 05/06/2026: Lawyers in Trouble for Citing Cases That Don't Exist (Slop Too Bad to Justify Costs; Even It It Did Work, It Would Still be Far Too Expensive)
Links for the day
Gemini Links 05/06/2026: Bears in the Streets, WWII Revisionism, and Westworld
Links for the day
IBM is "Making an Exit". Only the Executives Will Get Rich.
failure disguised as success
Microsoft's LinkedIn Called "Dying Platform" by One Who Worked There
The co-founder of LinkedIn has just stepped down too
GAFAM (Google, Amazon, Facebook, Apple, Microsoft) Layoffs Are Due to Surging Debt, or About 120 Billion Dollars Borrowed in One Year Alone
It's well above 150 billion dollars if one adds Oracle
2026 is the Year of Blockchains, Says IBM's CEO a Decade Ago?
"falling upwards"
After One Jeffrey Epstein Associate 'Leaves' Microsoft's Board Another Jeffrey Epstein Associate Steps Down, Workers Concerned About the Mass Layoffs
How many more loans can Microsoft receive? Those loans are becoming increasingly risky.
IBM Exploits Overambitious, Hungry Young Men to Help the "Great Quantum Hype Campaign" (Pumping the Stock Based on Deliberate Misinformation or Outright Disinformation)
The boot-licking campaign is live...
What Will Likely Happen When the Slop Bubble Pops (and When It'll be Widely Accepted That It Popped)
all the "most successful" slop companies are so deep in debt
The Register MS is Part of the Problem, It's Publishing "AI" SPAM Because it's Paid by Chinese Military-Connected Firms
Given that The Register MS is run by a Microsofter (since last summer), destruction seems inevitable
Most Coders Used to be Women, Not Men (and Men Who Dropped Out of College Now Plunder Everything They Can)
"Ethics For Hackers"
IBM's CEO Does Not Use GNU/Linux, So Why Did He Suggest Buying Red Hat Only to Lay Off Its Workers, Market Slop Instead of Linux, and Sack UNIX Professionals?
Shortly after IBM had bought Red Hat and there were mass layoffs we pointed out that Red Hat's CEO was not using GNU/Linux
If You're Not Focusing on Software Freedom, All You'll Get is Slopware and Buzzwords
If you're not focusing on attaining Software Freedom (and remember "Linux" is just a brand), then you're losing sight of the goals that actually matter
Red Hat/IBM: Microsoft is Our Partner of the Year
Red Hat is a really bad gravy
Gemini Links 05/06/2026: Enshittification of Institutes for Project Management, Codebases Contaminated With Slop, Personal Stories
Links for the day
Communicating With Freedom - Part II - Quibble Breathing New Life Into LibreJS
Notice how work on one thing led to thousands of lines of code added to a mostly dormant (but nevertheless important) project
Slop Has no ROI, an Economy Built on False Assumptions of Slop is Doomed
we're all going to suffer from this Ponzi scheme
Links 05/06/2026: More GAFAM Layoffs, Google Faces Regulatory Crackdown in UK Over Plagiarism in "AI" Clothing
Links for the day
Rumour That Layoffs at Microsoft Will Kick Off on July 1st, 2026 (Impacting 10,000 or More Workers)
this is what the rumour mill or the word through the grapevine is
Mission:Libre, Which Teaches Young People Free Software Ideals, Needs Financial Backing
plea for assistance with Mission:Libre
The Slop Ponzi Scheme is a Problem and Threat to All of Us (Even Those Who Don't Invest in or Use Slop at All)
This problem is systemic, not contained
"Blind Justice" Examines the Solicitors Regulation Authority (SRA) Turning a Blind Eye to Abuse by British Solicitors
We have some jaw-dropping examples of how the SRA does not do actual regulation - to the point where its staff does not actual work and does not look into any evidence at all!
7 Days From Now the FSF's Founder Gives a Talk in Bern, the FSF Has Just Advertised This
Meanwhile the FSF (or GNU) processes and uploads many recent talks by RMS
European Patent Office (EPO) Series: Down But Not Out – Costa's Comeback
he managed to secure a top-level EU position in June 2024
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Thursday, June 04, 2026
IRC logs for Thursday, June 04, 2026