EPO Management Combines Greenwashing and Russian Propaganda to Justify Torturing EPO Staff in Berlin
With "caution satire!" (According to the author, who resorts to some humour to tackle a genuinely difficult subject)
4 months ago SUEPO Berlin (the staff union's 'branch' in Berlin) spoke about how EPO workers in Berlin had been informed by António Campinos and his cronies that they too would suffer the wrath of fake "savings" whose real objective had nothing to do with savings. SUEPO offered "a brief overview of the essential “history” and the main “arguments” provided."
"A satirical reflection," it was clearly labeled upfront, but do not be misled by the jokes. What happened is very much real, albeit it's expressed in a way that makes censorship (retribution/threats) by the Office a little harder. Yes, there's still plenty of censorship in Campinos' kingdom.
Here is the publication in full:
INTERNATIONALE GEWERKSCHAFT IM EUROPÄISCHEN PATENTAMT
STAFF UNION OF THE EUROPEAN PATENT OFFICE
UNION SYNDICALE DE L'OFFICE EUROPEEN DES BREVETS
Ortssektion Berlin
Local section Berlin
Section locale BerlinBerlin, 04. September 2023
su23001bp“Another one bites the dust” or why we have to “making Bringing Teams Together (BTT) a reality in Berlin” – caution satire!
Before we can start to investigate the events that made it inevitable to extend BTT to Berlin, let’s start with a brief history of how the staff of Berlin was informed of this necessity without unnecessarily worrying them, or exposing them to undue psychological stress.
In order to allow the Local Staff Committee Berlin (LSCBE) to maintain suitable contacts with Administration it was granted on 07.06.2023 its first video conference meeting of this year with the site manager of Berlin. In this meeting the LSCBE was informed of the Office’s plans to “find a more modern and sustainable office”, a few hours before the Administration’s publication in this regard went online.
Two days later the Administrative Council was provided with CA/32/23, explaining that the Berlin office has to be relocated since “[t]eam collaboration and a sense of belonging [would be] hindered by the space layout, e.g. the length of the corridors leading to the other offices (with offices located only on one side of these corridors, doubling the distances involved)” and since the “[w]alls cannot be replaced by glass partitions, preventing the creation of a modern, energising working environment […]”.
Disregarding these convincing arguments and not aware of all the events (see below), the LSC Berlin sent a letter to the Administrative Council (AC) accompanied by a petition of the Berlin staff, questioning the necessity to move to a new office building and expressing the concerns of the Berlin staff.
Rumours have it, that the Croatian Delegation in the AC expressed, that the Office gives the impression to be a real estate agency much more concerned with the interior design of buildings than the Office’s core business – i.e. patent examination. Sacrilegiously it was heard that they even asked for a financial account, questioning the prognosed savings.Following the Administration’s well established consultation procedure, the newly elected LSC Berlin was invited on 14.07.2023 to a “short introductory meeting” – i.e. a standard meet and greet event - in form of a video conference, only to be informed of “making Bringing Teams Together (BTT) a reality in Berlin”, a couple of hours before the Administration’s corresponding publication went online again.
This brings us back to the initial question as to why the Administration was forced to act. Here are the “tales of Berlin” that were provided (possibly a bit inaccurate here and there):
It all started in the cold last winter when the very long corridors1 in Berlin could not be heated due to the energy crisis in connection with Russia’s “special military operations” and the envisaged environmental sustainability of the Office. This unexpectedly led to the temperatures in said corridors to drop to 12oC. Well, we only learned by now, that the corridors in Berlin are made of old and protected stone which is of course not as sustainable and energy efficient as glass2. We all feel sad for the poor colleague that had to come to the office3, looking desperately for his nearest line manager (supposedly on the wrong side of these corridors) and who was found frozen in one of these very long and chilly corridors.
Also remember the sad story of the lone, desperate colleague who ended up in a psychiatric institution as he could not cope with not running across a single colleague for months in those very long - and in winter dangerously cold –corridors in Berlin. No one could hear him scream, as old and protected stone is absorbing sound much better than a save glass wall would have done. Finally, we shall not forget the immense medical costs caused by all the hip injuries of colleagues4 from the historic building that felt 2nd class and started battling over the energising working environment provided by the modern, nicely protected5 and well-equipped offices in the so-called Z-wing.
Be that as it may, and in addition to all these shocking events, the so-called west-wing in the Berlin Office surprisingly has to be evacuated soon. Unfortunately, the German authority – so it was communicated - is unable to swiftly provide some of the many vacant rooms of the Berlin Office at a standard acceptable to the 2nd class colleagues. Therefore, the colleagues of the west-wing will be forced to move into already occupied offices– supposedly without adjustment of the rental costs the Office has to pay? This all, and fairness under “one Office”, thus necessitates to implement BTT in Berlin now and that all colleagues move within the present office building6 to train for the big move to a new office building somewhere in the very centre of Berlin, like Hennigsdorf, Werder, or Dresden?
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1 CA/32/23, paragraph 13, last bullet point explains that “Team collaboration and a sense of belonging are hindered by the space layout, e.g. the length of the corridors leading to the other offices [..]”. Since all directors in DG1 which are responsible for one of the Berlin teams are located in Munich and The Hague, and since in some teams these directors even act as team managers the corridors in Berlin became virtually even 700km long.
2 CA/32/23 explains that “[…] the building's environmental sustainability are limited due to the antiquated building materials”.
3 To fulfil his annual attendance requirement in the Office under the New Ways of Working (NWoW) pilot project.
4 Due to the very aged population – rumours have it that the average Berlin colleague is 54 years old.
5 E.g. by the video surveillance at the “isolation device” of the Z-wing entrance.
6 And that, despite rumors that one Delegation in the AC has expressed that staff should not move all the time.
There are several competing - albeit not mutually contradictory - hypotheses as to the intent and purpose of this seemingly unnecessary chaos that demoralises people (extensive surveys about BTT showed overwhelmingly negative feedback). The popular one is that they try to make the staff miserable (or isolated, making it harder to organise but hard also to get work done!); some people speculate, perhaps more laterally, that they would simply scatter the Office one way or another (the devil may be in the finer details somewhere).
Either way, we don't expect the German government to interfere. The government or the current coalition played a role in shamelessly introducing illegal and unconstitutional kangaroo courts in Germany (and elsewhere, albeit dominated by Germany). Now they get to milk not only the cow (EPO) but also the kangaroos and we know at whose expense. Germany has a profound corruption issue. Later they summon the audacity to mock Russia for injustice and corruption. Look in the mirror. █
