Bonum Certa Men Certa

No Wonder Staff of the EPO Gets Sick of the Management, Which Games Sickness Statistics in Order to Delude the World

"It still remains true that no justification of virtue will enable a man to be virtuous."

--C.S. Lewis



Medical doctor for EPO



Summary: The pattern of sick leave and sickness-related distortion of statistics serves to show that the EPO's management is only concerned with making itself look good (and well paid), but not with the wellbeing of staff

Politicians love to game employment statistics in favour of their party or against the opposition. There are craftful tricks for achieving the spin they are all along after and then put out a misleading narrative that can seduce a loyal follower (or media aligned with their agenda, e.g. News Corp. for GOP), not a sceptical outsider. All they need to do is fling a lot of something at the wall and hope something will stick.



The EPO likes to make up all sorts of figures, some of which we debunked here before (e.g. regarding 'production'). These are the classic talking points which EPO managers like to vomit on 'media partners' such as Les Échos [1, 2, 3] (for immediate and obedient publication, later to be referenced as 'proof' in private letters from Benoît Battistelli to politicians like Pierre-Yves Le Borgn' [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6]).

EPO sick leave figures are being made up and manipulated, says an analysis sent to us. Humorously titled "a miraculous recovery", here is what it says about Battistelli's poor treatment of the ill:

The DG1 dashboard is worth following. We recommend that you save or print whatever interesting material you find because data sometimes change or disappear at the EPO. In April the DG1 dashboard reported 14.553 days of sick leave for Jan–March 2015, which was 8% over the figure for the same period of last year and 3% above plan. Three months later the figure for Jan-June was 22.812 days, i.e. 5% below the same period in 2014, and 8% below plan. Improvement continues: at the end of September sickness was 13% below the same period in 2014 and 14% below plan. As always we are left wondering whether this is a result of a miraculous improvement in staff health or merely an example of creative statistics.

"Under the new regulations every absence for medical reasons, even of a single hour, counts as a full day sick leave..."There are hints that this apparent miracle may not be in the field of health but rather of accounting. After a few months of worsening figures, the improvement started when the new health regulations were put in place. We know that as from the 1st of April the rules no longer allow for the so-called “reduced productivity”, previously counted as ca. 4500 days of “sickness” in DG1. This alone would explain an “improvement” of 15%. Apart from this, the EPO has also unlocked a number of invalidity procedures. Putting a 100% ill colleague on invalidity (or “inactivity”, or now “incapacity”) removes 250 days of sick leave per year. Therefore the improved statistics do not necessarily mean that there has been an improvement in staff health and well-being.

One thing is certain: for individual staff members the sick-leave calculation applied by the Office has become incomprehensible. Under the new regulations every absence for medical reasons, even of a single hour, counts as a full day sick leave for the purpose of Art. 62(a) ServRegs (see point 7) and brings the person concerned closer to a salary reduction and obligatory medical examinations. This is typical of the double standards applied by the current EPO management. Please contact us when - or preferably before - you become “adversely affected” by the new rules and get a cut in salary for having reached the maximum of 125 “days”.



Given enough bang for the buck from US company FTI Consulting (the EPO pays it almost a million dollars to spread around this kind of nonsense), a lot of the public might actually believe the sordid claims from the EPO. Will they get away with it?

Recent Techrights' Posts

LLM Slop is Not Reliable, Constitutes No Process of 'Thinking'; There's No Thought Process at All, No Grasp or Understanding, Let Alone Context
Lies have become the "business model" [...] More people ought to talk about it and explain to other people what LLMs really are
Not a Security Expert If You Cannot Manage to Keep Online a Simple Two-User Mastodon Instance Somebody Else Built
From uptime of ~99% to maybe 80%
Microsoft Has All the Symptoms of a Dying Company (Mass Layoffs of the People Who Built the Company)
the company's debt is going through the ceiling
For Effective 'Finlandisation' (Not Digital Sovereignty) to Be Replaced by Autonomy Finland Needs to Think Like GNU (Software Freedom), Not Linux (Openwashing Source, Plus LLM Slop and Killswitches)
What is 'Finlandisation'?
IBM's Kyndryl in Trouble: Mass Layoffs, Payroll Problems, Buybacks (in Company Whose Debt is Almost Twice Its Total Value), and Soon $9 Per Share (Down Over 80%)
Kyndryl is done. Stick a fork in it.
ICYMI: GNU/Linux Did Not Start in Finland
If we're honest/true to ourselves, we need to recognise history for what it is, not what some corporations (like GAFAM) want it to be
Codecs and Software Patents - Part VII - Entering Phase II, the Battle Against Companies That Normalise Taxed (by Patents on Mathematics) Codecs
In the next few part we'll deal with the impact on Free software, including the GNU Project
 
"Microsoft Goodwill and Intangible Assets" Down Two Years in a Row, According to Microsoft
Microsoft cannot sell these, so what is their real relevance?
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Friday, May 15, 2026
IRC logs for Friday, May 15, 2026
IBM: Shares Down 30%, Mass Layoffs, IBM Says "Goodwill" Grew by 10% to Over a Third of the Company's Total "Worth"
According to IBM
Microsoft LinkedIn Layoffs "Very Likely Higher" Than 1,000 People
Microsoft is bleeding
The Corrupt Lecture the Non-Corrupt - Part XXIV - Luis Berenguer Giménez at the EPO (European Patent Office) Became the Punchline of EPO Staff
"the fact that Luis was caught with cocaine causes laughter. The use of cocaine in itself is not the real shocking bit."
IBM Keeps Culling Essential Linux, Fedora, GNOME, and GTK Staff
Over a month ago IBM laid off over 400 Red Hat engineers
Cisco Cuts Nearly 4,000 Jobs Because of Debt, Nothing to Do With Slop
The media keeps talking about revenue, not profits
Gemini Links 15/05/2026: UDP Game Forwarding Over SSH, Avoiding LLMs, and Alhena 5.5.9
Links for the day
Links 15/05/2026: Electric Company Shuns Entire Town to Prioritise Only Data Centres, Saudi Arabia and U.A.E. Carried Out Secret Attacks in Iran
Links for the day
Focus is Important, Focus is Everything
We are still running 6 multi-part series in tandem
Guest Post on False Marketing and PR Blitzes by Anthropic
A lot of people my age are just tired of the nonsense
Links 15/05/2026: UK antitrust regulator is officially investigating Microsoft Office, Anthropic’s Fraudulent Lies About Mythoslop Don't Withstand Scrutiny
Links for the day
IBM is Googlebombing the Media With Fake Numbers to Promote Fake Technology
a classic example of why much of today's media cannot be trusted (anymore)
Up to 10,000 Microsoft Layoffs in a Couple of Months
Many ways to skin a cat
Truth Hurts. People Hurt by Truth Aren't Entitled to Compensation.
Family members aren't exempt
SLAPP Censorship - Part 77 Out of 200: They Never Knew How to Handle Women (Except to Attack Them)
The case against us was really quite simple
Update on Sirius Open Source in 2026 (When Your Former Employer Commits Crimes and Nobody is Held Accountable)
I did not envision myself spending several years (even 4 years after leaving that company) challenging the system for tolerating and even covering up corruption
The Corrupt Lecture the Non-Corrupt - Part XXIII - Cocaine Use at the EPO's Top-Level Management "Adds Up" and Worsens Things "Over Time"
"cocaine use knocks the IQ down permanently a tiny bit with each use. Over time that adds up."
Gemini Links 15/05/2026: Slop Fatigue and Banning LLM Use
Links for the day
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Thursday, May 14, 2026
IRC logs for Thursday, May 14, 2026
Links 14/05/2026: Health Science, Cheeto Meets Pooh, and Facebook Staff Loathing the CEO
Links for the day
Gemini Links 14/05/2026: Early Morning Practice and Number to Roman Numeral Converter
Links for the day
FSF Advertises the Father of Software Freedom Giving a Talk in Germany (a Digital Sovereignty Interest Hub, Sponsor of Free Software)
Free Software vs malware and the need for reverse engineering
Cybershow (UK) Shaping Up to be a Neat and Very Large Gemini Capsule
If only more platforms did the same, plenty of energy would be spared, "old" machines would be totally suitable (even with 20 tabs open), as we'd focus on substance, not bells and whistles
SLAPP Censorship - Part 76 Out of 200: The Problem With the United Kingdom Allowing Americans to File Lawsuits by Proxy (Relayed by "Hired Guns")
Solicitors in UK warned not to act as ‘hired guns’ to silence critics of super-rich
When Microsoft's LinkedIn Goes Offline All Your Fake Friends/Connections and Manufactured 'Status' Will be Gone
Many people quit social control media because they recognise it for what it truly is
Major Setback for IBM in the Courtroom, the Demolition of IBM is Proving Costly
Kyndryl is a sign of how IBM ("mother ship") is run and where IBM is heading
Links 14/05/2026: Willful Ignorance and Mass Layoffs at Microsoft
Links for the day
Gemini Links 14/05/2026: Rewatching V for Vendetta, JPEG XL, and Platform Migrations
Links for the day
The Corrupt Lecture the Non-Corrupt - Part XXII - What the Science Says About Cocaine in the Workplace (EPO President, Mr. Campinos, Please Take Note)
What the science says
European Patent Office (EPO) President, Mr. Campinos, Ignoring Its Staff While Protecting His Friends
the President is covering up cocaine use while ignoring his own workers
Slop Cannot Replace Everybody (the Story of Perl and Universities)
Quantity where abundance exists is without merit; quality is what people opt for as they have limited time and patience
Over at Tux Machines...
GNU/Linux news for the past day
IRC Proceedings: Wednesday, May 13, 2026
IRC logs for Wednesday, May 13, 2026